The Nymph In My Net: Touching
Isn’t it an amazing feeling when you click random blog links and stumble onto a post that feels like the author was eavesdropping in your brain? I’ll tell you what I mean:
I’m a hands-on sort of guy. I love to touch and be touched. But I’ve never been very good at it. The lady I used to be with a few years ago was the sort who always managed to shrug my hand off her arm, or turn away just as I was reaching for her. Always so innocent and seemingly random or accidental, it took me years to catch on to the fact that she just didn’t like to touch. Even early in that relationship, I often wished she’d touch me more. I’m not talking about sex, here, although I could. I’m just talking about a friendly gesture as we would pass in a hallway. A hand touching a wrist, that sort of thing.
The Nymph does not have this not-touching issue. Quite the contrary. She warned me on the phone, seemed concerned even, that she’s “hands-y”. I said “Sounds yummy to me!” and meant it from the bottom of my heart.
Hands-y? She is, too. And I love it. I never want her to let go. But she keeps making comments that make it clear, she’s worried I’ll grow to think she’s clingy. The woman actually jokes (the “ha ha, only serious” kind of jokes) that I’ll get tired of her “hanging on me” all the time.
That’s so not going to happen. Have I mentioned I love it when she touches me? Or, that I’m touching her just as much, and feel like I can’t stop?
It’s like Dan wrote about his Amber (links long gone):
When we first got together, I came to understand how starved Amber was for this kind of attention. She was actually afraid that I was going to get *tired* of touching her. What I realized was that I’d been starved for years for someone *to* touch, and she’d been starved for years for someone to touch *her*.
A perfect match!
We now return you to your regularly-scheduled (i.e., non-sappy) sex blogging.
Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=686
I have to admit I am a ‘hands on’ girl. Most of the men I dated found this ‘clingy’ or ‘smothering’ and it probably felt that way. The more uncomfortable they became with it, the more I tried to soothe them by holding their hand, touching them.
I am not so ‘clingy’ anymore, because now I am with a Man that likes to be touched. I know that if I want to touch Him I can, so W/we have that easy comfort between U/us. When I slip my hand in His, I am rewarded with a smile and that always makes me feel so warm inside.
Sounds like that with you and Nymph. It really is a lovely place to be.
Sadly, I’ve never had anyone to hold hands with, but I know that I would be oh-so-touchy-feely with them as well. The time will come I suppose.
I wish *I* had someone to touch…
(*long, deep sigh*}
…maybe someday I’ll overcome overcome my shy, quiet nature…
I had someone tell me once that her favourite part of me was my hands becuase of the way they touched her. Of course that didn’t bode well for our relationship, since we really didn’t have much of a connection beyond my hands, but that’s another story :)
I’m all about the touching. I love walking by T and just touching her arm, or her back or pinching her bum :) I love the little touches, the way that she smells, her breath on my neck – to me that’s romantic and that’s what keeps people together and the relationship alive.
When I’ve gone a while without seeing T, it’s the touches I look forward to the most. The hug + kiss when we see each other, the hand around her back, all that tells me that everything is right in the universe.
It’s not a matter of being needy, but letting the other person know you care about them.
Oh, and great post Bacchus :)
I never thought of it as hands-y but thaht certainly describes me. My wife knows someone who has more than one commented on how can she stand it–but she loves it. As far as I’m concerned, a hand is better on her than doing nothing.
I really enjoyed the post. I have waves where I slide up and down the handsy issue. I am very clingy and love my wife to be clingy, and there are times when my mind is somewhere else and in that place.. I just cant touch or be touched.
i believe that i love touching(I know i love a good back scratch)but because i’ve been single/alone for so long, i believe i had subconciously shut down that facet of me, perhaps as a defense/’no body ain’t there, get on with life’ mechanism. I guess that i’m slowly ‘turning it back on’ thru hugging friends.
Mmmmmmmmm If you keep making posts like this and make me miss you even more than I already do, these two weeks are going to really crawl along!
When I finally do get back (and I’m counting the days), “handsy” won’t begin to describe how I’m going to be when I see you! :)
i used to be afraid to touch or even hug a friend, i had a real problem with it. I think i’ve always associated touching with sex etc, so it felt uncomfortable hugging a friend. Now why I’d associate it with sex before i’d been anywhere near a man is a mystery to me. Anyway now I hug friends..but since i started to allow myself near men, I can’t get enough of the touching. If he’s not a very touchy affectionate type person, the experience is sooo lacking. However there are times when you just want the raw sex thing rather than the lovey stuff.
Praise be. A gloriously male blog site. Beautifully written and oozing testosterone,,thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Touch is very telling in a relationship isn’t it? With some you don’t,,with “the one” you just have to.
If I *had* to make the choice between sex and the intimacy of touching – Even the casual, seemingly insignificant touching, I would choose the warm, loving feeling of S’ touch over anything else. Luckily, I have the best of both worlds. :-)
I LOVE touching and being touched:) It’s so intimate and sends such a message of warmth. Not just in sexual situations either. Touching family and friends kinda adds an added sense of warmth and sincerity.
Back to sexually:) Touching is so powerful. I love being touched, but part of me is afraid to let a man touch me because I fear he’ll be replused by my fat body. It’s an arena where I’d be so exposed and vulnerable, I’d rather not be touched than face a devestating rejection.
Hmm…that’s only partially true:) I think I’d risk it…depending on the man and the vibes I get.
Reminds me of my guy and me. Both touchy feely people, both of us had been shrugged off before. We both kept expecting the other to stop liking to be touched, at first. Thank goodness, that will never actually happen! We get and give as much physical affection as we want, now.