Tentacle porn is, according to one of Vinnie Tesla’s college chums, like, so over. Tired. Stale. Unimaginative. Done. The natural world offers so many more exciting possibilities, you see:

Now, mind you, this is all from one phylum. Stepping back into the wider invertebrate kingdom yields even more possibilities. The whole lophotrochozoan group of phyla is replete with even more opportunities for deviance. I mean, come on now, there is an entire phyla called the Ectoprocts (yes, I have friends who are ectoproctologists) meaning exterior anus. These colonial buggers have an anus located right next to their mouth – which doubles as a sexual opening. The possibilities for a double penetration menage a trois are truly astounding. Add to that the fact that these beasties form calcified colonies, with specialized zooids representing all manner of shape and form, and – let’s just say that were our intrepid team of buffed macho bois to come upon the cave of the giant lusty crust, they could both engage, and be engaged in, almost any manner of mischief the author could concoct, with DPs all around!

There’s quite a lot more.

Link provided by a benefactor who wishes to remain anonymous.

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