September 3rd, 2023 -- by Bacchus
Chase Not The Grippy Box
I have long been on record as having absorbed and taken to my heart the GenX dating wisdom for men: “Never stick your dick in crazy.” But the kids these days (the ones on TikTok who joke about mental health incarceration by calling it a “grippy socks vacation”) seem to have a very different view, as evidenced by the motto “Grippy socks, grippy box.” I don’t know if that perspective leads to wise action or not, but it’s catchy as hell, so I made it into a meme:
Image credit: The padded room sex photo image source for the meme is from this 2016 Kink University video lesson on straitjackets for bondage and sex.
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Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=31632
Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=31632
Contacts who are much more adventurous than I am say that sex with energetically crazy people can be very good, the problem is what happens between the fucking.
In the UK crazy people are called bonkers. Where bonking also commonly refers to intercourse. At least it did till I got my wrist slapped recently for suggesting a bonk. So this is nothing new here.
@Vagans
What happens between the ‘fucking’ is where they insert the ‘you up’…
I have stories about one particular partner who made me question my judgement, and put me off sex for quite a while. I won’t go into details, because it contravenes Bacchus’ guidelines on opinions of other people’s fetishes or limits. Suffice to say, my ‘therapist’ thought she was totally bat faeces.
I don’t think this is just an issue for men dating women either. People who are more worldly than I am suspect that some women like sex with bad boys because the sex is really hot even if the rest of life together is not. (How many women meet that description, outside of the imaginations of a certain type of American man on the Internet, I can’t say, but there are groupies and gangsters’ molls).
I can testify to one woman who liked ‘bad boys’ to her detriment
When I was at Uni a student of mine got a just underage local girl pregnant and walked out on her and her daughter after a couple of years, during which he graduated but struggled with being a father or even a boyfriend. By which point she had shown herself to be quite mature for her age and joined our wider social circle. Her next boyfriend was a lad from her village, and she kicked him out when he started hitting the child. She later admitted to him hitting her and she’d taken that.
Her parents at that point started to ask me to family events and put us together, as I’d picked her up and dusted her off both times, but she told them, and me that she liked bad boys, and I was too nice to be anything other than a friend.
The next guy she dated decided he was cleverer than the local drug dealers and was trying to move in on their market, until I had a very pointed conversation with him in private, shortly after which he robbed her blind and did a runner. After that she swore off men, since she had 5 and 3 year olds to raise, and I moved away and lost touch.
I don’t think any of those 3 boys (I hesitate to call them men) were crazy though, I just think they were in the first instant narcissistic, in the second a bully, and in the third stupid. Not sure that fits the model of being attracted to craziness. But being attracted to someone who treats you poorly, definitely.
I’ve only had serious problems myself with two people, in both cases cis female. Only one of them I would say was crazy. and I think that came across as a wildness and openness to kink that I found attractive. She understood my fetishes and kinks and was happy to play, and in fact moved things along to a sexual relationship quite freely once she learned I was interested in playing with her too. Where the problems occurred was when she wanted me to go beyond limits we’d set, and she started playing some very subtle mind games. She abandoned our relationship as soon as she realised I was not going to be manipulated.
I think she’s the only person I’ve been attracted to who fit in the crazy bracket, and I think the way her craziness manifested itself was attractive. The sex was certainly very passionate and kinky. Right up to when it wasn’t. And that I think is the point this post started on.