Slapping your wife’s face in 2026 requires a metric ton of emotional paperwork, even if she’s into that sort of thing and all necessary consents are in place and/or obtainable. Sometimes it’s simpler to outsource the job to her, by trickery if need be:

Fair warning, though: even when she realizes she fell for your deceitful prank “fair and square” and takes full accountability for her own actions, this may not immunize you from noisy remonstrance or threats of retaliatory violence!

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