The instant I saw this totally-innocent photo of a pretty woman eating a banana, I knew. Naw, man, that’s porn. And that banana is a promise. She’ll be sucking the guy’s cock in the next scene. Or there’ll be a banana up her cunt. Or both.
I am often wrong. But not this time. And the Rodox watermarked clinched it; that’s one of the many hardcore Danish porn brands operated under the corporate umbrella of the Color Climax Corporation, famous in the USA for eye-opening glossy import porn magazines dating back to the 1970s. Sometimes a banana is just a banana, but in the hands of the CCC it soon becomes a cock:
Likewise, the dramatic Rule of Chekhov’s Banana guaranteed that we weren’t getting out of this blog post without a banana going in her pussy:
Somehow, I never saw Eartha Kitt perform “I Want To Be Evil” before today. It is wonderful! My favorite line, of course, is “Whatever I’ve got, I want to lose…”
Because every embedded Youtube link eventually breaks, here are your prepositioned logistics in the form of an Archive.org link.
On my first careless viewing of this artwork, my thought was “Well, we all knew that’s what happens to the beautiful young people who get sent to the Minotaur’s maze every year.” But after more careful consideration, I think those horns say “infernal goat” a lot louder than they say “bull-headed man”. Writing as I do under the “Bacchus” nom de plume, I suppose it’s appropriate that my thoughts go sooner to the beasts of classical mythology than they do to the devils and demons of Christianity. But at least both of them do have in common the ancient tropes of sexual sacrifice!
When you encounter this photo elsewhere on the web, usually it’s titled with words suggesting a lesbian orgy. Which is overselling it, yeah? I mean, I see thirty-five or forty naked women sitting on a tarp. Are they lesbians, even in the limited sense of the word as it is used by male-gaze pornographers? And about that orgy: sure, we’ve got a supersaturated solution of naked bodies. An orgy might precipitate out while we watch, but nothing in the photo suggests it’s happening just yet. Do lesbians even have orgies? Or is the lesbian orgy just another fantastical invention of male-gaze pornographers? Plus I have one final question: what the heck is going on with this lady?
I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a cavity search or a friendly greeting, but either way, I think this is one of those penal institutions designed more for entertainment than for penological strictness:
I don’t care if the forty on your lap is freezing your balls, your passenger has a cure for that:
This road trip seductive masturbation .gif came from a dead tumbler, but I have evidence that the uncredited source material was originally found in a Reality Kings porn shoot:
