Granny Got Run Over By A Cock Truck
Recently a local-ish news feature covered some hard-drinking, hard-partying, extremely happy-looking people during a long weekend at a popular lake attraction. One of the women — perhaps my age, perhaps a bit older, but a gentleman prefers not to speculate — got a lot of camera time. She was whooping it up for a statewide audience with her large mixed drink in hand, her ebullient attitude, and her impressive mass of wind-whipped hair that she was letting go wherever it wanted. One of the usual social media trolls commented “Granny looks like she got run over by a cock truck” and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.
The reference, of course, is to the novelty Christmas song Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer or — though I doubt this particular troll knew the reference — to the Da Yoopers parody Grandma Got Run Over By A Beer Truck. The trollish implication was that our hard-partying lady had been having a ton of sex (I certainly hope so!) and that this, rather than the outdoor recreation, was why she looked pleasurably-tousled. But of course the loud subtext was that for a woman old enough to have (young) grandchildren, sexual pleasure is unseemly. That, obviously, is a load of ageist horseshit.
These thoughts of ageism are often on my mind because of another kind of troll. Whenever I post raunchy vintage sex photos, some young fool always pops up to say “Ha, ha, she’s somebody’s granny now!” (Nobody ever says any similar observation about the men in the photos.) I speculate that this is a version of the crapping all over beauty phenomenon I wrote about so long ago: a sort of one-upmanship that scores imaginary troll-points by pointing out alleged flaws in forms of beauty that others find arousing. I’ve never understood the logic; if merely the inevitability of aging is enough to taint the sexual worth of an erotic woman, we’re all in the same sinking boat together. But the thing about ageist youngsters is that they aren’t flooded with empathy, even for themselves.
What’s true is that lots and lots of mature people aren’t remotely done with their sexuality. As an honorary dirty old man myself who is rapidly reaching the age where the title’s not so purely honorary, I am in substantial solidarity with dirty old men and the GILFs they love. (GILF, of course, means “grandmas I’d love to fuck”; it’s a back-formation from the better-known MILF acronym.) Thus do we live in a world that has granny sex cams in it. It’s a better world than the one imagined by young men who don’t want to imagine anyone getting older, that’s for sure! One thing I’ve especially enjoyed about sex blogging for almost two decades is following professional sex workers whose online marketing presence is as horny and sensual as it ever was. These women aren’t conceding a single orgasm to aging, nor hiding a shred of their beauty either. Heroines every one!
Image credits, from top to bottom: The pounded granny is by artist ILoveOldLadies. The seductive GILF is by Xiceowl. The sweet kitchen ass-showing image is by Inusen. The mature dominatrix is by Flick.
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