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The Sex Blog Of Record
August 2nd, 2021 -- by Bacchus
This artwork illustrates the story Inevitable Man by Michel Villon, as appearing in the November 1935 issue of La Paree, a surprisingly spicy journal for men. The topless ladies are not, at it might appear at first glance, catfighting; instead they are hanging out in a hot room in Saigon, drinking liquor and helping one of their number pack her luggage for a new adventure.
Here’s the bit from the story that we see depicted in the artwork:
It was too hot for even the thinnest of clothes, and the three girls lolled about on the wicker furniture clad in only their underwear. Paulette was eighteen, and as yet untouched by the ravages of the sun and heat. Her hair was the color of spun gold, and it hung almost to her waist. In spite of the heat which filled the large, comfortable room, she was never for a moment still. Several shabby suitcases lay open, on the matting on the floor, and it was the packing of these which kept her moving.
Fanning herself languidly with a palm-leaf fan, Yvonne said, “I suppose the future wife of Captain Jacques Renaile will soon forget the two girls with whom she lived in Saigon, nein?”
Paulette straightened. “Jamais!” she said intensely. “How can you say such a thing, Yvonne? After all you’ve done for me? Taking me in when I had no one else to go to. Looking after me. Helping me to find work.” Tears formed in her lovely eyes. “I don’t see how you could think of such a thing,” she finished.
Marie patted her bare shoulder. “Yvonne was only teasing you, ma cherie,” she said soothingly. “We know you won’t forget.”
…
Marie returned to her position behind the drawn Venitian blind. Suddenly, she stiffened.
“Yvonne!” she said excitedly. “Come here! Quickly!” Yvonne and Paulette joined her. Together, they peered through the chinks in the blind.
Standing on the pavement, outside a large office building across the street, was a man. He was tall, broad shouldered, bronzed and dressed in white duck. He was fanning himself with a pith helmet. He was extremely handsome. Yvonne was the first to break the silence. She said,
“So he’s back again! Sacre!”
“Nom de Dieu! Roger Blake,” the unfamiliar words sounded strange on her tongue. “And I swore I’d kill him the next time I saw him.”
“I did, too.”
“Who is he?” demanded Paulette, excitedly.
“He is a man,” replied Yvonne. “An American. He is the French representative of some big American concern, and he travels for them. He has made fools of half the women in Saigon. I felt like the lowest cocotte after he was through with me.”
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July 31st, 2021 -- by Bacchus
It is the custom, I know, for groomsmen or bridesmaids to “decorate” the getaway vehicle the newlyweds will drive away in. Sometimes these pranks are brutally reductive about the institution of marriage:
Custom or not, I believe there’s merit in a couple choosing to secure their transportation against this sort of levity. It would not be excessive to park in some hidden place a few miles away and then surprise everyone by driving off in a Uber.
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July 29th, 2021 -- by Bacchus
Is there somebody in your life who needs fluffy ears and a long fuzzy tail? Supposedly these are the Grey Wolf Tail Anal Plug And Ears set, but the verisimilitude level is not 100% dialed into wolves at the expense of other large fuzzy canines. You could manage a very passible husky sled-dog with this gear. Don’t forget a leash if you need one!
Somebody had fun writing the sales copy:
You will both be howling in pleasure when you get wild with these exciting accessories. Transform into a sexy beast for your partner with this flirtatious set of ears and a tail plug. The ultra soft and fluffy faux fur is so irresistible that your lover will not be able to keep their hands off of you. The tapered plug is smooth and narrow for an easy and comfortable insertion. The adorable headband with matching ears will complete your ensemble. Stalk your prey or crawl around like the perfect pet when you turn into a gorgeous grey wolf!
Also do not worry: if the woofie-gear is out of stock when you visit, there are plenty more kinds of furry-tailed anal plugs you could get instead.
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July 27th, 2021 -- by Bacchus
I’m not one to question anybody’s procreation choices, but believe I am allowed to laugh at funny things even when they are none of my actual business. This SUV rear window with family stick figures indicating eight children attracted some wag’s finger-written admonishment: “OMG stay off of her!”
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July 25th, 2021 -- by Bacchus
The #Pornocalypse comes for us all — even mild-mannered gardeners!
No lesser source than the Associated Press reported out this sad tale of a New York state gardening group that was put at risk of deletion by too many automatic robot-moderation flags for the word “hoe”, which Facebook apparently thinks means the same thing as “ho”.
Moderating a Facebook gardening group in western New York is not without challenges. There are complaints of wooly bugs, inclement weather and the novice members who insist on using dish detergent on their plants.
And then there’s the word “hoe.”
Facebook’s algorithms sometimes flag this particular word as “violating community standards,” apparently referring to a different word, one without an “e” at the end that is nonetheless often misspelled as the garden tool.
Normally, Facebook’s automated systems will flag posts with offending material and delete them. But if a group’s members — or worse, administrators — violate the rules too many times, the entire group can get shut down.
Elizabeth Licata, one of the group’s moderators, was worried about this.
…
When a group member commented “Push pull hoe!” on a post asking for “your most loved & indispensable weeding tool,” Facebook sent a notification that said “We reviewed this comment and found it goes against our standards for harassment and bullying.”
…
“And so I contacted Facebook, which was useless. How do you do that?” she said. “You know, I said this is a gardening group, a hoe is gardening tool.”
Licata said she never heard from a person and Facebook, and found navigating the social network’s system of surveys and ways to try to set the record straight was futile.
Contacted by The Associated Press, a Facebook representative said in an email this week that the company found the group and corrected the mistaken enforcements. It also put an extra check in place, meaning that someone — an actual person — will check offending posts before the group is considered for deletion.
“We have plans to build out better customer support for our products and to provide the public with even more information about our policies and how we enforce them,” Facebook said in a statement in response to Licata’s complaints.
Note, however, that Facebook did not promise a better way to get in touch than to have an Associated Press reporter make phone calls.
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July 24th, 2021 -- by Bacchus
Sometimes, they snoop the packages. And when you’re buying cock cages and other sex toys that lets her figure you for a male submissive, and she turns out to be a dominant woman with a lot of extra time on her delivery schedule, she might just bust into your house and make you do filthy stuff:
Yes, old boy’s nose is precisely where you think it is.
Photos are from Mean Package Delivery, via Kink Unlimited.
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July 23rd, 2021 -- by Bacchus
Recently while looking through a lost file of five-year-old emails, I discovered that an ErosBlog reader had sent me a link to the Codex Seraphinianus, an esoteric text of considerable complexity written in an invented alphabet by a 1970s Italian who may or may not (you be the judge!) have consumed too many hallucinogens. Although not primarily an erotic work, it contains this image sequence of a couple whose sexual congress results in their complete union. In fact, they merge into a weighty crocodilian beast who slithers down from the conjugal couch and out of our frame, presumably in search of something to devour:
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