As a luxury tool for facilitating the so-called solitary vice, the Fleshlight is not a thing we see very much of here on ErosBlog. But of course there is plenty of porn of it, as Rule 34 demands:
The artwork is by Ignition Crisis aka Sgt Crisis, who has a Patreon.
A very long time ago, before the internet was a thing, I used to spend a lot of time buying and reading magazines. In those days, every good bookstore had a magazine rack that covered an entire wall. And, though you couldn’t buy porn magazines in the most respectable magazine outlets, there was an entire niche of magazines that walked right up to the porn-or-not line, getting as close to it as they could without actually stepping across it. One of these — and my aging brain is not producing the title — featured an extravaganza of beautiful people with extreme muscles, who showed off those muscles by parading for the camera in the tiniest underwear anyone could imagine. I don’t recall ever buying that magazine, but I sure browsed it with my full attention!
Sadly, the golden age of magazine diversity is gone. But the internet that killed magazines did so by offering an even greater diversity of niche online pleasures. That’s how we came to live in a world with muscle girl cam sites and — thanks to Rule 34 — an endless diversity of porny buff-girl imagery, more than could ever be contained in any magazine.
In those not-quite-porn magazines, all the muscular girls ever did was stand around looking buff. Flexing looks good, but there are limits to its eroticism. On the other hand, a buffed-out camgirl will presumably do whatever you can negotiate and pay her for. That’s much better! But when it’s not an option, the world’s hentai artists have your back. Powerful naked women doing every damn thing you can imagine, until your finger wears out from clicking the search results.
Do you want to see a cartoon lesbian muscle chick in leather bondage, getting pounded from behind by another toughgirl who enjoys wearing a big strap-on dildo? Friend, the internet has you covered. Or, maybe your needs are more pedestrian and straightforward. Perhaps all you want is to see a debauched blonde with abs as impressive as her tits, being reamed up the ass while also getting her pussy fingered? It’s a simple request, and easy to fulfill:
Perhaps at the end of the day you are a purist. Perhaps you think extravagant musculature is wasted unless it’s being put to good use in some sort of physical contest or struggle. But you’re here reading ErosBlog, so of course you want “that, only porn.” Fear not. Sweaty naked powerful women wrestling for the entertainment of the crowd may be precisely what you ordered!
Fans of hentai erotic art (and I am one) will have noticed that the obsessions of artists in this space are at once diverse and specific. There’s quite a range between tentacle sex and airtight catgirls, you have to admit. But even when they focus on an erotic topic of mainstream interest like lesbians (and who doesn’t like lesbians?) they can get really precise about various micro-fetishes. I mean, why draw two lesbians fucking, when you can draw two lesbians fucking while simultaneously making porn of it? Go ahead, invite the camera into the sex scene, make it an orgy-by-proxy. Just you, your webcam, me, your buttplug, and all your girlfriends with cutsie avatars who are watching the camshow:
It is no surprise that lesbian porn with cameras in it should be a thing. A common formulation of the invincible Rule 34 promises that “If a thing exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions.” Of course, we all know that lesbian cams are definitely a thing. So, sure, why not porn of lesbians making lesbian sexytimes with cameras in hand?
Sometimes, the fun of a camera in your sex scene is that it gives you a nice closeup view of the action. Cameras can get in close when your head and eyes are busy directing the sexual business at a more strategic distance from the action:
Then the are the times when the camera is about voyeurism and humiliation. Getting reamed up the ass by your girlfriend’s huge rubber strap-on dildo is one thing, and a perfectly fine thing it is. But it becomes a very different sex scene when she invites her best friend to come over and watch… and bring a camera! Since this is 20121, even the humblest little digicam has the potential to, and probably in fact has the ability to, take digital movies of your lesbian fun. Most of them also have the fifty-cent wifi chip, too, because why not build it into everything? So when she says she’s streaming your humiliation live to all of the rest of your friends on social media, you kinda have to believe her!
Last but not least, having a camera handy helps answer what is often the biggest open question of any bondage scene. She wants to tie you up and have her way with you. But what is she actually going to do to you? Sure, she’s gonna fuck you, but that only lasts so long. It’s helpful to have other activities planned, to prolong the fun. And among the best of these is to take salacious pictures while you’re helpless to prevent it:
It’s not for nothing that many people consider the camera their favorite sex toy these days!
Long ago (very long ago) when this blog was new, I posted a close-up view of a woman wearing an extremely minimal bikini. I mean, the bikini bottom had three tiny strings and one of them was flossing her stuff, but nothing was covering anything!
Because I was much younger and more foolish then, I hadn’t quite settled into the groove of sex-positive appreciation that has come to be the ErosBlog vibe. I made the sex-blogger rookie mistake of referring to that spectacular micro-bikini as “ludicrous” and “ridiculous”, which is a weirdly prudish take that I do not recognize in myself today. 2020 Bacchus does not endorse the judgmental stance of 2003 Bacchus. We grow, we learn.
Before I was born, back when the bikini itself was young, Brian Hyland had a comedy pop hit called “Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini”, about a young lady whose swimsuit was more daring than she was. It’s my impression that the bikinis they thought were “itsy bitsy” in 1957 really weren’t, but it’s still a fun song:
There does however come a minimum size for a bikini below which, one might reasonably wonder, what is the purpose of the thing? Why not go full-on nudist?
It’s a fair question, but it has fair answers, too. Naturism and nudism have creepy historical links to racialized Aryan notions of strength, health, and body-perfection; as such, those lifestyles may not work for everyone. Nudist communities can vary a lot in their extent of body-positivity and acceptance of all body types. There are also class issues; the space and privacy to practice everything-off nudism doesn’t come cheap! Nor can we neglect the historical problem of fully-nude camps and and resorts that were set up to be male-gaze patriarchal fantasy-fulfilment centers, not necessarily as safe for female members as advertised in the glossy brochures.
A lot of these problems are solved by keeping the swimsuit, but paring it down — not just to the essentials, but to some less-than-the-essentials celebration of tiny strings and sheer fabrics. Micro bikinis open new vistas for confident self-expression of women’s body joy. There are plenty of beaches, hot tubs, and public or private pool situations where daring suits, worn with glee by women of all shapes, sizes, and colors, are perfectly acceptable. Full nudity, perhaps not so much.
Thus it turns out that for many people, the micro bikini has become an entire lifestyle, at least where their fresh air, sunshine, and summer leisure is concerned. They frequent friendly hedonistic spaces worldwide, and even have web communities like Bikini Fanatics, where women share their teeny bikini photos for everyone to appreciate. And of course, as this post demonstrates comprehensively, Rule 34 guarantees us an endless parade of barely-there bikini art. It’s a good world, isn’t it?
I know we’re all coming up hard on the darkest part of the winter, but I hope this post sparks dreams of sun and sand and extravagantly-flaunted skin. May they keep you warm until summer comes around again!
It was five years ago that ErosBlog first covered the then-developing story of the sexualization of eggplants, to the point where the eggplant emoji was banned on Instagram. What with Rule 34 and all, it should be no surprise that by now, there is anal insertion porn of it. Bondage Blog has it:
For as long as I have been a sex blogger, lists of sexual fetishes (in varying degrees of obscurity) have been crossing my radar. Sometimes these were compiled by other bloggers for fun, sometimes they were articles in online publications looking to entertain readers with novelty sex trivia. For some reason I’ve never figured out, the fetish lists often resort to complex portmanteau words chimera-stitched together from roots in Greek or Latin (or even Greek and Latin at the same time). Thus they’ll list something like “knismolagia”, instead of just saying “tickling fetish”. If you look it up in a really good dictionary, you’ll likely see a legend like this: “Mainly encountered in word lists rather than actual use.” You don’t say!
I have more interest in the thousands of small fetishes described by carefully-worked-out tag systems that attempt to catalog millions of hentai/manga erotic artworks. These systems serve as enormous catalogs of micro-fetishes. Rule 34 provides that if a thing exists, there is porn of it — and the marvelous truth is that a tag/name exists for every obscure fetish you can imagine, and for untold thousands more that you never could have dreamed up in a month of feverish wanking. I’m serious. Did you know that “ear insertion” is a thing? I don’t know the fancy Greek portmanteau word for it, but if you’re a catgirl, it’s a risk:
Every highly-online person has been aware for decades that tentacle sex is a surprisingly-frequent preoccupation in Japanese erotic animation. And those sticky probing tentacles, man, they go everywhere. There are a lot of them, too! They almost always wind up in an airtight gang-bang situation, with tentacles jammed everywhere you might imagine a tentacle getting jammed. But this is the internet. No fetish is too micro. If you want “anal tentacles” and nothing but anal tentacles, the internet will provide. Find me a polysyllabic Latin word for that!
It takes no particular imagination to have a fetish for tattoos and body art. Hell, back when porn magazines were still printed profusely, there were entire thick glossy titles devoted to nothing but sexy tattoos and body modifications. It’s when things get exquisitely particular that the internet comes to the rescue. There’s porn (there’s always porn!) for people whose narrow fetish is “pussy tattoos” — just pussy tattoos, no ink anywhere else:
I could go on all day. Cataloging the infinite varieties of human arousal is one of my favorite things to do. But I’m going to end the game (for now) with a nice plump juicy “cameltoe” image:
I defy you to find a word in a classical language for that!
It’s not easy to find a porn upside to a global pandemic, but I am here at ErosBlog to do this heavy lifting for you.
The first item on my list of positives is that everybody stuck at home has a lot more time for looking at porn and doing what comes naturally. If you’re lucky enough to have privacy, you’ll be doing a lot more surfing of your porn lists like Reach Porn. It’s fine, though, because hey! You’ll be washing your hands soon anyway…
The very next item on my upside list is that fetishes always breed in difficult times. This is natural. Nobody fully understand what makes fetishes gel in your sexual psyche, but one common model is that when normal human arousal and unusual stimuli coincide, those unusual stimuli tend to become associated with the arousal. I’ve mentioned before my friend who came away from a long and humiliating hospital stay where he couldn’t manage his own business, with a permanent fetish for nurses and pee. I knew another guy who dated his leg fetish to his childhood, when his aunt routinely made him — a short kid whose eyes were at the right level — help her adjust the seams of her stockings for straightness and parallelism.
So now we find ourselves social distancing, and a lot of people are wearing masks. It’s a stressful time. But people will nonetheless experience sexual arousal — it never stops. The consequence is inevitable — one hell of a lot of people are going to come out of this with a mask fetish.
In Asia, the source of kinky porn and, sometimes, zoonotic viruses, they are way ahead of us on the mask wearing. It only stands to reason that Japanese porn is a few years ahead of us in generating surgical mask porn, too. I checked in the usual places and sure enough, my intuition was not disappointed. Rule 34 lives; the thing exists, and there is definitely porn of it!
That said, I’ll confess I didn’t expect to find numerous pictures of masked women giving blowjobs. This would seem to violate basic principles of physical and social distancing. Shack up with a plague buddy if you must, but if you still need the mask, maybe also keep dicks out of your mouth?
There is a certain logic to it, though. I mean, no; we should be staying entirely away from people who could infect us, not sucking their cocks. But sometimes the demands of a lover cannot be denied:
O come, and take from me
The pain of being deprived of thee!
Thomas Campion wrote that urgent couplet more than 400 years ago. All signs indicate that Campion was gay as a three-dollar bill, so he may have known something extra about dicks, and the urgent need for the sucking of them.
And that’s where the logic of the mask-wearing cocksucker finally comes to the fore. Sometimes, stuff’s gonna happen no matter what. It may not be smart, but that changes nothing. In such a case, well, one still hopes to avoid getting droplets in one’s respiratory system, and a mask can maybe help with that.
