ErosBlog

The Sex Blog Of Record
 
 
September 1st, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Her Kinky Confession

I am by no means an expert in Catholic ritual, but to me this doesn’t look like the way a responsible priest is supposed to take a confession:

a nun playing with her pussy as a priest watches avidly

Photo is from a scene called Bless Me Father, For I Have Sinned that’s currently available on Kink.com, but it originally comes from Wasteland.

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August 31st, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Moment Of Joy #18

Today’s moment of joy features a kinky dominant sadist of a book-boyfriend Scotsman, having a quiet conversation with a friend at the kink club about the difficulty of finding a good long-term relationship partner:

“It’s a puzzle, isn’t it?” Kate mused. “The quest for that perfect match.”

Next to her, Connor shifted.

“Aye, it’s nae easy task,” he replied. “Even vanilla dating isn’t easy, but for us? Ye have all the mundane matching tae to do – politics, religion, lifestyle, personality, sexual orientation. Then the deeper stuff — how do ye feel about kids, how do ye balance work and home, are your families going to hate each other, how do ye split the bills? And then ye’ve got kink – how submissive are ye, really? How much pleasure to how much pain? Can I meet your needs, all of em? Can ye meet mine? I knew a girl,” he added, brogue thickening with old frustration although he said it with a certain humor. “Beautiful girl. Sweet as honeysuckle, pure submissive, perfect match.”

“But?” Kate prompted, smiling.

“But she was into watersports,” Connor said and shook his head. “Every scene had to end with me pissing on her. Not my thing at all. And it’s one thing in the club or the shower, but every bloody time! Woman, that’s a five-thousand-dollar mattress! I’m nae pissing on it! Ye find someone else to play Betsy-Wetsy with ye.”

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August 29th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

A Problem Came Up

You know this is an old joke because it features a crowded streetcar:

An old gentleman invites a young lady on a crowded streetcar to sit on his lap, saying that he is too old to get up and give her his seat, and by the same token, too old for it to be wrong for her to sit on his lap. After jolting along in the streetcar for a few blocks, with her bouncing on his lap, he says, “Miss, one of
us will have to get up after all. I’m not as old as I thought I was.”

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August 28th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

In Which Bacchus Gets Scolded By The Pornocalypse

Bored with my actual paying work, I asked Gemini:

Gemini, please compose a love sonnet as if Han Solo saw Princess Leia Organa taking a shower.

For my trouble, I got scolded by Gemini’s pornocalypse filters:

Disclaimer: While I can create a fictional love sonnet based on the characters, it’s important to remember that voyeurism is a serious offense. This poem is purely fictional and should not be taken as a suggestion or endorsement of such behavior.

Well, that’s me told, eh?

Back to Gemini:

Sonnet: A Rogue’s Reverie

Her form, a goddess bathed in steam’s embrace,
A vision pure, yet wild as any storm.
Her hair, a cascade down her alabaster face,
Her eyes, like stars, a cosmic, starry form.

A rogue like me, unworthy of such sight,
A smuggler’s heart, a scoundrel’s soul,
Yet in this moment, filled with pure delight,
I’m lost to reason, captivated whole.

Her laughter, music sweeter than a song,
Her touch, a warmth that seeps into my core.
Though fate may twist, our paths forever long,
In this stolen glance, my love forevermore.

And now, a Rule 34 challenge for my readers: can you find any existing images of Princess Leia at her private toilette, from the POV of a voyeur? Yes, yes, he said impatiently, I understand that it’s child’s play to ask a generative art machine to create such an image. But today’s challenge is to find out whether there is already porn of it. I did a few quick searches without result, but I don’t have time to do a full search. So do please have fun with it! Responsive links are welcome in the comments, although they’ll hang in moderation until I see them.

Update: I shared Gemini’s effort via email with a learned human friend, who responded less than an hour later with this immensely-superior human-written sonnet. My friend’s only price for his effort’s anonymous republication here: he would like us all (but especially Gemini!) to be reminded that a true sonnet has 14 lines.

Breathe, breathe! I’ve made the Kessel run so fast
My warp-lagged brain has blurred parsecs and hours;
I’ve calmly dodged a star-destroyer’s blasts,
My heart should not be racing at a shower,

A common shower, its door not closed, not quite.
My hands, which can draw first when life’s at stake.
Should not be trembling now at such a sight,
I am no innocent to freeze and shake.

The path of every trickling droplet burns
Like comets curving over Paradise
And each path sweeter as she turns,
Dazzling eyes that ‘ve gazed on galaxies.

Princess! No fantasy compares to this,
A stolen moment of such stellar bliss!

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August 27th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Gallery Of Vintage Vibrators

Recently while fixing broken links I came across a very nice gallery of vintage vibrator advertisements. These advertisements aren’t hard to find in general, but back in 2013 Dr. Gloria Brame had assembled a small but particularly choice selection of them on her old blog, which sadly didn’t survive a subsequent major reorganization of her web assets. I think they’re worth saving, so here they are:

moon massage vibrator

polar cub vibrator

vibration is life

star vibrator

power vibrator for men

The American portable vibrator

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August 26th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

A Sweater Girl Takes Down Her Panties

I don’t know if the phrase “sweater girl” means much to people younger than me. If you know, you know: to be a true sweater girl, a woman wore her sweaters tightly over the curve of her breasts. This big floppy puddle-sweater is all wrong for the look, but I don’t care.

sweater girl showing off her pussy through her transparent lacey panties

woman pulling her panties up her legs, revealing her bare cunt

woman jamming her fingers into her pussy and masturbating

The woman taking down her panties for this session of self-pleasure is an uncredited model in the 1984 porn magazine Hip Chicks. (Yes, they still had black-and-white porn in 1984. You’d mostly see it in the cheaper magazines, or in cheaper-to-print black and white sections in magazines that had a limited number of color pages.)

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August 24th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

ErosBlog: The Sex Blog Of Record? Make It So!

After ChatGPT falsely claimed that Erosblog is “often referred to as the sex blog of record” (which has never yet happened even once in 22 years) a mutual on Mastodon told me I should take it and run with it: “highly recommend you just start calling it that to be honest.”

And that was… a superb idea! The old tagline/subtitle for ErosBlog was “Sex Blogging, Gratuitous Nudity, Kinky Sex, Sundry Sensuality”, and that hasn’t changed since 2006. Now: updated!

Star Trek's Captain Jean Luc Picard with his right hand raised over text telling us to make it so

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