ErosBlog

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May 24th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

Does Your Wife Fit In A Bucket?

Of course she does: after all, you can always get a bigger bucket!

exhibitionist wife flashing a titty

Silly jokes aside, WifeBucket bills itself as “the original amateur-wife and real-MILF adult site.” Don’t think too hard about those claims. After all, WifeBucket only dates to 2009, and amateur porn on the internet goes at least fifteen years further back than that. They also say they have “probably the biggest online archive of nude wives, home porn, and swingers”, which might indeed be so. Roughly 320,000 photos and 7,000 videos is a lot nowadays; as far as I know you won’t find (anywhere!) the million-photo collections that were possible in the freewheeling times around the turn of the century, when there were a zillion commercial porn studios pumping out fake “amateur” porn to mix with the authentic stuff being uploaded, and it was impossible to tell which was which.

Wifebucket presents itself as a fairly traditional user-submitted images site, one that’s evolving into a paid-membership model as most such sites are these days. It offers a mix of paid and free galleries presented on the front page (plus more on their blog), with a paid membership option prominently offered:

wife bucket screenshot

They take Bitcoin, which is still rare for porn companies. It’s a prudent precaution in my opinion. Attacking the adult industry through its payment systems is a growing trend, and though Bitcoin per se is probably not the ultimate solution, diversifying payments outside the Visa/Mastercard ecosystem stranglehold is the only long term fix. Bitcoin is at least a step in that direction.

As you would expect from a site which, despite its current membership business model, has clear heritage in the erstwhile mania for tubes, there’s plenty of free and visually-engaging content available for visitors:

beach nudes with sand on their boobs

I had great fun in a gallery of facial cumshot photos amusing myself imagining personalities based on the expressions of the supposed wives depicted. Really, which of these women would you rather be married to? There are no right or wrong answers!

wifebucket faces of cum

Choice A: The sultry-but-unimpressed Mediterranean beauty. A model, or possibly an actress. The one on a leash. She’s not happy about the facial cumshot, even though it’s within the parameters she agreed to when she put on your collar. She’s going to be in a bit of a sulk for the rest of the evening. The conversational weather forecast is: stormy. You might be better off keeping her leashed until bedtime.

Choice B: The blonde, with the eyebrows she’s plucked until they’re scared. She’s about to burst into laughter, wipe her face on a pillow, and leap out of bed. If you’re lucky, and I think that’s pretty well established, she might start baking a batch of cookies.

I’ve never tracked amateur, swinger, and home-made porn very closely; it’s not precisely in the lane of my interests even though it’s not at all uncommon for individual bits of it to be strike me as very fine and arousing indeed. But I’ve certainly spent enough time over the last twenty years rummaging through collections containing this kind of material. Some I’ve enjoyed, some have struck me as squalid or unpleasant. This one, on balance, I enjoyed.

wifebucket banner

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May 23rd, 2018 -- by Bacchus

Crackers In The Flavor Of A Tasty Ass

If you must eat crackers that taste like ass, we pray for your sake that the ass they taste like is a tasty one:

tasty crackers that taste like ass

The sordid truth, of course, is that this is just another case of the algorithm taking matters out of the hands of the the underpaid and semi-literate workers, as with the Summa Cum Laude cake that the Publix online ordering system refused to sell to a proud momma a few days ago because it had the “profane” word “cum” in it. These are Tastyâ„¢-brand “assorted” crackers, and the machine that prints out the Managers [sic] Special sale placards has some algo that says something like “two lines, eight to ten characters per line, lines must be the same length, truncate the end of whichever line you have to to make the lines match.” It’s very possible that a shift “manager” is supposed to review and approve a stack of these placards every morning when they roll hot from the printer, but the half-hour hassle to implement and redo a changed placard is not going to blip the biweekly automated productivity review in any kind of positive way, so why bother? Do you think a regional or a district manager is ever going to go down the ass-cracker aisle?

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May 22nd, 2018 -- by Bacchus

Hiking Is Good Exercise

Hiking in the Swiss Alps: everybody knows it’s good for you!

fucking in the swiss mountains

I cropped and rotated and expanded the postcard scan above; if you want to see the original I was working with, it’s here.

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May 21st, 2018 -- by Bacchus

Snark, Thy Name Is Bacchus

Some days, the snark builds up inside me until it threatens to blow off the top of my head. Today must be one of those days. When I caught a glimpse of a few photos from a perfectly normal Carmen Rivera femdom shoot that was being marketed via Kink.com, my first thought upon seeing the paunchy bewhiskered white guy in chains was “Hey, look! They caught a senator!” And I did not feel at all badly that they had, either:

punishing a senator

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May 20th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

Prepare The Sacrifice!

It’s a little bit unclear to me whether she has three helpful and solicitous friends looking out for her welfare and pleasure, or whether he does. In a perfect world, both of them, I suppose?

three blondes hold a woman by her arms and legs over a bolster for penetration by a man with an enormous dick

The artwork is by Austrian illustrator Otto Rudolf Shatz, according to many unreliable Pinterest posts and this probably-reliable auction-house listing.

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May 18th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

Blowing Bubbles During Sex

bubble gum sex

Chewing bubble gum and blowing bubbles during sex: I’m sure it’s not everyone’s fetish, but if it’s yours, you might enjoy the video clip this came from. I tracked it down to the XXX Multimedia Clips4Sale studio featuring (among other things) videos by Fifi Foxx, who is, I believe, the model seen blowing that bubble at the top of the post.

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May 17th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

Pussy: Superfood

Memo to that pussy-hating hip-hop dude from last week: in ancient China, pussy was considered a superfood. No, really. According to Kate Lister, who y’all may know from Twitter as @WhoresOfYore:

For example, in ancient China, Taoism taught ingesting vaginal secretions would strengthen the Yang (male) essence. Therefore, pussy was not only celebrated, it was a superfood. Take that, kale crisps.

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cupid