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November 4th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

Share Our Shit Saturday! #SoSS

It’s Share Our Shit Saturday again!

  1. Web comics count! And although the Oglaf comic that’s up right now is awfully weird and meta, they are usually weird and sexy. Recommended.
  2. Paltego at Femdom Resource has been thinking a lot about the potential and future of VR porn.
  3. The Sensual Liberation Army — an ErosBlog ally since foreverstands foursquare with the brave bikini baristas of Everett, Washington. “Eros clearly resides in Ecotopia rising…”

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November 3rd, 2017 -- by Bacchus

Married Life Agrees With Them

There’s a funny wedding photo that makes the rounds on social media sometimes, usually with a lot of sex-negative commentary:

cyprus wedding photo blowjob

Usually these are not easy to track down to the source, but I managed fairly well with this one. It was originally posted to social media in a wider format:

wedding blowjob in cyprus

As you can see from the hashtags, it was taken in Cyprus. The press I found on it was in Bulgarian, and Google’s machine translation is even less optimal than usual, but for what it’s worth:

Hot wedding photo shoot! Bride makes her beloved fealist in Ayia Napa (Photo 18+)

A brutal wedding photo shoot scandalizes the internet. There is hardly a lot of people who will dare to get in the same way in front of the camera lens. And in a memorial day of your life!

However, in the resort town of Ayia Napa, the retreat is falling rapidly.

A photograph, shared on Facebook by the photographer Photograph in Cyprus – Happy Images Cyprus, shows an unusual view.

The bridegroom spread his hands with a bouquet of flowers and gazing at the endless blue sea. Its rear parts and lens are separated only by the hand of a happy bride, passionately clinging to its tribute, writes Blitz.

Worn in white, the woman put her knees on the rock and cares for her companion in life with oral love.

The photo is accompanied by a few words such as “Wedding in Cyprus”, “True people”, “True Fun”, “True Love”.

Under the scandalous photo session, a bunch of funny comments like: “God, may it be the bridegroom,” and “God, let’s not just the bride.”

I am particularly amused that Google came up with “fealist” (huh?) as a translation for “фелацио” in the headline. I don’t read Bulgarian or know the details of the version of the Cyrillic alphabet they use, but I do know enough to know that’s a direct transliteration of our old friend “fellatio”.

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November 2nd, 2017 -- by Bacchus

18 Bits Might Make Your Own Bits Tingle

According to one of the people working on the Ted Nelson’s Junk Mail project, the sales team for the EPI-118 computer thought it was pretty damned sexy:

aphrodisiac computer disclaimer

How many computers come with a disclaimer of their aphrodisiac effects, after all?

Contrary to rumor, we know of no factual basis for the the claim that an EPI-118 computer in your home will have an aphrodisiac effect.

However, if you do install an EPI-118 in your home, EPI cannot assume any responsibility for any such effects which may occur.

Definitely you would want to see your doctor about any erections lasting longer than four hours, sure, yup, don’t neglect that.

The UK’s Center For Computing History has the only easy-to-Google image of the EPI-118, from the cover of Electronic Processors, Inc’s brochure for their 18-bit blinkenlights-and-piano-keys monstrosity:

epi-118

You can really see how that would start rumors about orgies breaking out in any house where it was installed!

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November 1st, 2017 -- by Bacchus

His Face Between Her Breasts

Every man understands this impulse:

motorboating her ample breasts

Artwork is from the cover of Sexopolis #10.

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October 31st, 2017 -- by Bacchus

Dancing For A Rough Crowd

“Trick or Treat” is a rough game in the City of The Dead; you knock on the wrong door and you’ve really got to hustle to earn your way back out to the street in living condition. Candy? Yeah, good luck with that:

belly dancing for skeletons

Art is from the cover of a horror pulp.

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October 30th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

“Hey, Mister, Wanna Fight?”

topless vintage woman wearing boxing gloves

I came across this topless boxing cutie while researching the faux-vintage pumpkin flapper photos yesterday. Our boxing babe, I think, may genuinely be vintage in her origins.

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October 29th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

That Burlesque Halloween Flapper Chick

cute flapper skeleton dancer with a pumpkin and a black cat

A little while ago when @whoresofyore tweeted the above photo out under the hashtag #VintageHalloween I knew I was finally going to have to get off my ass and get this shit in order. I thought I might get something special for my patrons out of it (which didn’t happen, in the event) but mostly I just couldn’t take it any more.

Here is (was) my problem.

I’ve been seeing that photo (and several more from the same series) every Halloween for many years. And why not? The flapper-esque blonde is cute as a button, her tits are perky, and the burlesque Halloween thing is too fun and cute and Betty Boop not to love.

cute flapper nude dancer mugging with a jack-o-lantern pumpkin

So, my first-stage reaction was “I need to track down that whole series of photos. It would make an awesome Halloween gallery. And if it’s really as old as the some of the clues would indicate, it’s bloody amazing; I want to know more about where these photos come from!”

Sadly, my second-thoughts reaction was “There’s something wrong here. The Halloween iconography is too modern; this is 1950s cheesecake pinup staged as late 1930s burlesque produced with 1920 flappers published by 1900s postcard publishers. Just a whole mishmash of subtle anachronisms.”

My particular problem was with the ghosts and bats and jack-o-lanterns and black cat and happy-skeleton stuff all brought together in one display. You see all of these elements in Halloween imagery going back at least to the Victorians, but a comic erotic burlesque of them? My first mental/visual reference for a thing like that would be the painted cheesecake pinups of the late 1940s and early 1950s. I would be really excited to find them all in a real-photo pinup postcard series from then, but from decades earlier as these photos superficially appear to be? That would be…astonishing.

bare breasted nudie flapper burlesque dancer poses with one foot on a halloween pumpkin

But hey, a cynical skepticism, no matter how well-informed, is no substitute for doing the work, which for a project like this is quite considerable. Basically, my method is recursive image searching; I start with the first image, and while searching for the largest, best, most-original scan of it, I also look for any pages that offer any provenance, and I also look at all of the “similar images” that the image search engines throw up, saving anything else from the series that turns up. And then I proceed through each of those in stepwise fashion, doing the same for them. It’s a slow, often-tedious, and painstaking process.

There were early indications that something was hinky about this image set.

comical burlesque stripper pinup Halloween shadow play with ghost bat pumpkin skeleton black cat and nude naked topless flapper retro blonde cutie

One thing that bothered me was that diamond “MG” logo. It’s very much like the logos used by photo postcard publishers going back to the turn of the twentieth century and before. Only, a logo like that is typically the initials of the publisher, it’s a handy reference, and it’s usually easy to Google. Those two letters in quotes, “postcard”, and Bob’s your uncle. Collectors and auctioneers are all over that shit. Here? Nothing.

Another thing that bothered me was that as an iron rule, the best-quality scans I was turning up were always 805 pixels wide. That indicated a common digital place of entry onto the internet. Theoretically possible if these photos were from, say, a set of postcards in the hands of a collector, with no other exemplars known; but in practice, usually genuine vintage photos exist in a wide variety of (usually small and terrible) scans of different sizes.

valentines day at halloween as burlesque cutie hides behind heart shaped cardboard skeleton head

More subtly but also damning, no provenance for any of the photos from the set was turning up. They were widely distributed in copy-and-paste collections of vintage photos, usually mixed with genuine vintage photographs from the “French postcard” and burlesque eras. But nobody had ever taken the time to curate these together into a common gallery. This could just an artifact of digital decay (there’s an awful lot of the adult internet gone missing from the 1997-2007 era) but sometimes it means that the source was known and that the folks doing the copy-and-paste felt constrained from acknowledging that source. But why, if the photos were truly vintage?

bump and grind cartoon halloween burlesque faux vintage stripper routine

bare tits stripper vintage nudie postcard halloween bats ghosts skeleton burlesque

As is usually the case, there was just one clue, a single fragile provenance, one person who took the time to drop a credit, that broke the entire mysterious case wide open. One of these images, on a Tumblr that has not yet gotten autoflagged and force-vanished behind the Verizon #pornocalypse Tumblr-porn event horizon, had a link credit to a Deviant Art source, where the photo had been posted more than a dozen years ago by a photographer from the Ukraine who has not been back to DeviantArt since 2005. The photographer went by “MGstudio” (note those “MG” initials) and gave their URL as marthasgirls.com in their DeviantArt profile. Martha’s Girls is a website I vaguely remember; it’s defunct now, but for many years and until sometime in 2016, it ran an old-fashioned subscription paysite selling “The finest emulations of vintage erotica and pin-up, spanning the period from the Victorian times to the 50s pin-up era.” Ding ding ding ding DING! The mystery is solved.

Ukrainian faux fake retro erotica postcards nude flapper posing for Halloween

MG Martha's Girls topless flapper fake faux retro postcard erotica nude posing with halloween jack-o-lantern pumpkin

So these are modern, not vintage; they are a formerly-available commercial porn product by an unknown photographer from Dnipropetrovsk whose artistry I quite admire. My hope is that by assembling them here, it will be less likely for future enthusiasts to make the all-too-easy mistake of believing them to be vintage. If you know of more photos from this series, please let me know!

kneeling burlesque cutie hides her tits behind a jackolantern pumpkin

halloween pumpkin kisses goodbye

Happy Halloween, and enjoy!

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