What a poorly-placed cranberry-bag vent hole!

Apparently, these cranberries are… pic.twitter.com/TzYBn9BUqF

— MacCocktail (@MacCocktail) November 13, 2016

Yes, yes, of course you do not need to ask: “Cranberry Bag Vent Hole” is available to be the name of your next punk band. You may have it; I give it freely.

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Spanking Blog found this cute spanking artwork in a graphic novel by Bruno Coq:

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According to an article in New Scientist, there’s a gay dentist from Taiwan who wants to give people the opportunity to remake their mouths for better oral sex:

Dentistry, for example, considers three functions for the oral cavity: aesthetics, pronunciation and mastication. “There is another function, sex, which is never mentioned in the textbooks,” says Ku. “I’m from the gay community and I realised that the medical school is a very patriarchal system, very serious, and the professors are very traditional, particularly in Asian countries. So I wanted to approach that relationship.”

Instead of treating disease and restoring normal function to the mouth, Ku imagines dentists enhancing it along one particular line, the act of performing fellatio. To do this, he created retainers which offer a more intense sexual experience for your partner.

Of course, Ku’s vision of better blowjobs through mad science encompasses more than just a few silicone dimples for the roof of your mouth:

The dimpled retainer is just stage one of Ku’s imaginative vision. Further iterations involve the introduction of living tissue onto the prosthetic for a more lifelike feel, and ultimately grafting these living protrusions into the mouth cavity for a permanent upgrade to your oral prowess. While tissue engineering exists for restoring normal sexual function, such as lab-grown vaginas, this would take the practice into the arena of human enhancement.

“With this design no one knows you love oral sex,” says Ku. “But in the second part of the project we change the appearance of the mouth, to show your sexual preference by your appearance.” Like birds with specialised beaks, Ku imagines a world where we don’t simply embrace our diverse sexuality, but mould our bodies into a vibrant expression of it.

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His finger goes first, to ease the way:

From Iyashite Agerun Saiyuuki, Episode 1.

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I owe a great debt to commenter Kim for accurately predicting my interest in and amusement at this political cartoon from the cover of a 1913 issue of Puck. If the cartoon strikes you somehow as being especially topical today, I shan’t be the one to try and argue you out of it:

The cartoon is captioned “Come on in, John, the water’s fine!” The name “John” is of course a reference to John Bull the personification of England, shown here being dragged into that dreaded swamp of equality entitled “Women’s Suffrage”. The four mostly-naked suffragettes doing the dragging are drawn with the full measure of comic mockery that was typical of the time. The “with apologies” legend at the extreme bottom right is presumably directed at William-Adolphe Bouguereau, the artist long-beloved here at ErosBlog for painting Nymphs and Satyr, which artwork this Puck cartoon parodies rather directly.

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How many politicians today can (or will) promise to make your wet dreams come true?

It actually makes some sense in historical context; Al Smith was an anti-prohibition (hence, “wet”) candidate in 1928. But the double entendre is unlikely to have been innocent; “wet dream” has been used to mean “erotic dream with nocturnal emission” since at least 1851.

From the blog Lawyers, Guns, And Money, with thanks to Dr. Faustus for alerting me to it.

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Abbi Rode writes about the best bum sex she’s ever had. After a false start or two, things start to click:

He lubes up my arse again with his fingers and then his cock and places the tip of it just at the opening. This is now perfect so that I can sort of edge myself down onto it and control it. With the head squeezed just in, I move over and back on it, so that I’m fucking his cock slowly more into me with each stroke.

Gently and gingerly at first but as it starts to feel good I go further getting more of it in. He is lightly holding my hips and leaving all of it to me. Soon it feels like it’s nearly all in and I feel so stretched and tight, I’m really enjoying it, so he starts to move with me, to fuck me a bit harder.

I ask him is it all in and as he says Not. Quite. Yet. He presses hard and shoves the last bit of his throbbing hard on into me. This hurts more than I was expecting but only for a sec and then it feels great to have his huge, pulsating dick in me and thrusting.

My cunt is throbbing and I need something at it. But what comes out of my mouth is: Oh god this is fucking good. And his voice is very different when he responds, yeah it really fucking is! And in it I can hear how elated he is, how much he is enjoying it. I need something at my cunt, I tell him and notably gleefully, he slips a hand around my waist and starts to circle my clit.

With my ass filled and my cunt being played with I am in overload. I push back on him and beg him to fuck me harder, it’s deep in my arse and it feels spectacular; amazingly tight yet sliding with apparent ease now.

The harder we fuck the more I want and with his fingers on my clit it isn’t long before I come. Shouting his name and genuinely fucking thrilled with how this has turned around.
My orgasm in turn brings on his and he says,’Aw fuck yes, I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come, right, deep in your arse’. And he grabs my hips hard for the last final thrust. And I feel him empty himself inside me.

It really was delicious. Possibly the best bum sex I’ve ever had.

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