ErosBlog

The Sex Blog Of Record
 
 
July 21st, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Patriarchal Pagan Frolics

What happens when you mix “getting naked” and “go frolic in the woods” and “vaguely pagan costumes” and “nudism” and “for-profit magazine” in 1968? You get a couple of smug assholes in the Spring 1968 issue of Jaybird Experience magazine wearing blanket capes and feather plumes and costume jewelry while three pretty girls with untanned bottoms that glow like the full moon kneeling in front of them wearing more feathers and more costume jewelry, threatening perhaps to begin some unbalanced and ill-considered priapic rite unless a wrathful Baba Yaga striding along in her chicken-footed hut arrives to chase off or devour the grinning buffoons and let the ladies work up a proper woodland ritual:

nudist notions of hippie paganism with implied blowjobs

I’m rooting for the witch in the hut with the chicken feet, myself. Although I would settle for a few burly satyrs with wineskins to show up, followed by a consequent Dionysian orgy from which all parties wake up chafed full sore both fore and aft, with a lot fewer smug certainties about themselves and their lives.

Similar Sex Blogging:

 
July 20th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Blowing The Dark Side

Because evil overlords are never too busy to take recreational oppression breaks. That’s why they have dungeons, duh:

Princess Leia gives Darth Vader a blowjob

These frames are from one of the many Star Wars porn parody movies out there, I think possibly one made by Vivid but I’m not sure.

Update: Thanks to helpful comments, we now know it’s Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody, with Allie Haze sucking Lexington Steele.

Similar Sex Blogging:

 
July 19th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Hotdogs For Smurfette

Take a moment to shed a tear for poor Smurfette. Being the only “f” in a village full of “mmmmmmmmm” was never going to end well for her:

Smurfette with a mouthful of hotdogs

Model is cosplayer Emma Dilemma.

Similar Sex Blogging:

 
July 18th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Should Men Be Leash Trained?

“Let’s stir the pot”, she says with a gleam of mischief in her eye. “I think men should have to be on leashes until they are vetted and fully trained by an emotionally mature woman.”

Hold on! Before we get into all that, let’s examine the platform. I just did a quick Erosblog search for “leash“. By my quick and dirty and not-at-all scientific counting methods, the number of times we’ve mentioned leashes since 2002 is around 30. Almost a third of those mentions involved leashed men, somewhat to my surprise. I know my own kinky predilections. I also know damned well I’ve given plenty of screen space to literal patriarchal wankery, and that’s why it’s perfectly fair to return the favor.

If The Headphone Oracle has a few playfully matriarchal words (backup link) to say about a better way to order the world for the safety of women, I don’t need to agree with those words to make room for them here:

Let’s stir the pot.

I think men should have to be on leashes until they are vetted and fully trained by an emotionally mature woman, preferably somebody that has been through perimenopause.

I said what I said.

I got this idea… You know that trend where people are doing the bridal processions to different music? There was this woman who was doing it, and Bridesmaid One was walking Groomsman One down the aisle on a leash.

I just think that that is a fantastic idea. You take the women who have been through the shit, who know all the things about the world, and you take the newly minted men and you make them be leash trained until they can be vetted to be a safe human being for other people to be around. Full training sessions.

Like, we can open up a school and the men are not allowed to speak or do anything until they can be proven to know that they are safe to be out in the world. We do it with Rottweilers and other supposed aggressive breeds. Why not? They’re dogs, we’re bitches. Why not just put them on a leash?

Unfortunately, it would be fetishized. It already is. However, I think men should have to be leash trained before they’re released out into the wild for their forever homes.

It’s the wildest of fantasies, of course, in a world where a sex educator can sell out her blowjob classes (students: mostly women) but her parallel offering of pussy-eating classes never happen, because the tickets don’t sell.

Similar Sex Blogging:

 
July 17th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Nothing Lewd Or Obscene

I found the following editor’s statement on the masthead of a 1957 issue of a Hollywood Confidential magazine and I must say, I feel like this Walter Hale fellow and I would have gotten along pretty well:

This magazine is dedicated to freedom of both the mind and the sight and ad libitum which, translated from the Latin means: “at pleasure, as much as one pleases!” Many of the photographs published are “in puris naturalibus,” as the French say and the Editors are convinced and jurists agree that there is nothing lewd nor obscene in the undraped human form, particularly the female with praiseworthy proportions. TV, Radio and News-papers may quote from this issue providing they give proper credit but TV producers are expressly forbidden to reproduce any of the photographs, TV being a medium for children. This magazine is never sold to minors, morons, maniacs.

masthead detail from a 1957 Hollywood Confidential magazine

Other than the one link at the top of this post I can’t find a lot of information about Walter Hale. If anybody knows more, please feel free to drop links in the comments.

Similar Sex Blogging:

 
July 16th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Games With Friends With Benefits

Young people who aren’t ready to settle down into committed relationships yet — and none of them are, although often they make the mistake of thinking otherwise — sometimes approach sex or sexual exploration by way of light-hearted sexy games.

drinking game with stripping

In small groups of friends they’ll play spin the bottle, truth or dare, strip poker, or drinking games with risqué forfeits. Usually these stop well short of orgy territory, but everybody remembers there was that one night where everybody drank a little too much and nobody can quite remember what-all exactly happened…

strip poker game featuring beauties from League of Legends

These games of light-hearted ice-breaking sexual exploration most often happen among mixed groups of friends, friends with benefits, casual couples, tonight-only hookups, and a few shy orbiting singles who just need a nudge to get properly hooked up. Throw enough alcohol into the mix and a good time for all is practically guaranteed, with the safety-in-numbers factor keeping things from getting too far out of hand. But if you and Susie get dared to go into the coat closet together, who really can say what else might happen in there?

Dares and bets can lead to another fun opportunity for turning a “games with friends” situation into a “friends with benefits” situationship: if you take the bet, and you lose the bet, and your honor compels you to do the thing, then you don’t have to ever admit that you’ve been secretly wanting to do the thing since forever. “I lost a bet, I simply had to bend over for my best friend and her enormous strap-on. What choice did I have?”

dropping her panties so she can get railed with an enormous strap-on dildo

Another really convenient use for games: when it’s a booty call or a hookup situation but not a romantic scene, that first step toward getting naked and fucking can be super awkward, especially if both personalities are strong. That’s when a deck of cards is your savior. “Strip poker?” and a challenging raised eyebrow can totally rescue your evening, because there’s no way to lose, no matter who winds up naked first. Just don’t let male pride get in your way if she’s better at cards than you! Accept defeat magnanimously. Your evening can only get better.

losing a strip card game to a pretty blonde

You can use any game for this, and take it as far as you like. Victorian party games often had specified forfeits (the tamest ones were chaste kisses) that losers had to perform for winners. You don’t need this spelled out for you, do you? Do you need a visual aid? I can give you a visual aid:

woman who just lost a game of Go performing oral sex on the winner

Image credits: The eight friends from the Naruto manga franchise drinking together and playing a strip hookup card game are by Scy–25. The four beautiful women from League Of Legends in the process of losing a friendly game of strip poker are by Nanoaoi. The woman who just forfeited her own untried ass to her lesbian friend’s monster strap-on in a card game is by Polybius. The scene of Siefer from the Final Fantasy videogames gritting his teeth as he loses some sort of strip card game to Quistis — don’t be a sore loser, man, she’ll be gentle with you! — is by Pudelmudel. The two characters from Genshin Impact sharing the traditional exchange of oral pleasure and respect after a challenging game of Go are by the yuri artist Lux Lin.

friends-with-benefits-banner-800x30

Similar Sex Blogging:

 
July 14th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Buried In Nudie Cuties

According to a 1966 issue of Barred magazine, this promotional still from the 1965 nudie cutie feature The Wonderful World Of Girls features George, who is “sittin’ and ponderin'” the problem of what to do with all these beauties:

george and his nudie cutie beauties

Similar Sex Blogging:

 
 
cupid