Dildos For ICE
Many many MANY years ago, before the internet became king, I had a paper mail-order sex toys catalog from a store in Minnesota called Smitten Kitten. Apparently they are still going strong, because word comes of some activists who bought a whole box of clearance dildos there recently to throw at ICE agents and their police protection.
We were standing inside Smitten Kitten like lunatics planning the world’s dumbest coup. The place glowed like a queer cathedral built by horny anarchists. … We explained that we were bulk-buying dozens of dildos because we intended to psychologically dismantle a federal law enforcement agency at a hotel protest.
Fast forward:
The first dildo flew through the air like a rubber prophecy and skidded to a stop directly at the boots of a state trooper.
And that’s when the United States government lost its entire fucking mind.
Before anyone could even laugh properly, before a second dildo could achieve liftoff, before reality had time to process the absurdity of what had just happened, the cops panicked like Victorian men seeing an ankle.
Tear gas.
Pepper balls.
Instant chaos.
The very first rubber dick to touch government-issued leather boots triggered a full-blown chemical weapons response. That is not metaphor. That is not exaggeration. That is a literal sentence that happened in America in 2026.
The story continues:
Through my tear-blurred vision, I saw them.
The dildos.
Just sitting there.
Mocking them.
The cops stood there, choking us, shooting pepper balls at people holding noise makers and rubber penises, desperately trying to reassert dominance over pieces of silicone that had emotionally defeated them in under sixty seconds. They couldn’t pick them up. They couldn’t leave them there. They couldn’t kick them away without becoming a meme. So they did what every insecure authoritarian does when confronted with humiliation.
They escalated.
There’s more in this vein, and more photos:
But you have at least a sense of the piece. A dildo action, and a clever bit of memetic engineering. Praxis!
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Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=34860
During the Vietnam War, the enduring image of peaceful protest was a girl handing a flower to a soldier at a barricade. There were violent protests too, but that image of Rose Kasmir endures.
IMO the safe way to deal with ICE et al, is not to throw anything at them, even insults, but to very calmly hand them a flower, because even the most corrupt and violent heart cannot justify shooting someone who offers them a flower.
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”
It does not allow throwing dildoes nor anything else at Feds.
You may not throw things at them – but if you happen to drop something near them, it’s at worst, littering, right?
Falbert, they’re just shooting people in the streets and making up stories about why. I’m not losing any sleep about people tossing soft silicone dildos at their steel-toed combat boots to threaten their fragile masculinity. The legalities interest me not at all; I’m on record as being an anarchist.
@Bacchus: I don’t disagree that this is entirely over the top, and they’ve now moved into my own home state of Maine, because our governor is A) a woman and B) had the sheer audacity to stand up to Trump publicly. And there’s a strong likelihood that the murderers have been moved from Minnesota to Maine. So I’m not going to be losing sleep over anything that happens to government agents – it’s already well earned.
Isn’t the most important thing here the delightful smile of the young lady carrying the box? She is gorgeous!