April 13th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
The Penis Periscope
“Ah, finally I have found it!”
This could be a commercial product…
The Sex Blog Of Record
April 12th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
Le Danse
Way back in 2003 I posted an old “French Postcard” style topless dancer photo. Today I discovered that Wikimedia Commons has a couple more versions (different postcard reproductions) of the same photo, including this very nice higher-res one:
The photographer, it turns out, was one Jean Geiser of Algeria.
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April 11th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
Prison Sucking: Two Views
Here’s a fun little experiment for those of you who have penises. Put yourself into this fantasy for a moment. You’re in Cell 18, it’s been a long time since you got a blowjob, and then this happens:
You’re a hardened criminal, you’re not worried about the potentially-bruised sentiments of the kneeling inmate outside your door, you’re just experiencing the first good blowjob you’ve had in years. Spend a moment fantasizing. Imagine how it feels…
(Now, click here to see the rest of this post.)
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April 10th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
Sexting Like It’s 1474
Folks, I keep saying it because it’s true: There is nothing new under the sun. Sexting? Tweeting about your dick? It’s old wine in new bottles, I tell you! Here’s Elector Albrecht of Brandenburg in 1474, who has named his penis “Mini Me” (essentially) and is writing to his wife:
If God vouchsafes me a safe return, I’m going to whip you soundly with young Albert. Young Albert really wants to get big.”
Found it on Spanking Blog.
April 9th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
Slingshot Condom Applicator
The D.I.L.D.O. launcher guy is back! Not entirely serious, I don’t think, but funny as hell:
April 8th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
He’s Keeping It In His Pants (For Now)
One of the nice things about having a membership at a porn site like Sex And Submission is that they always take lots and lots of photos when they do a shoot. Maybe 16 go in the free gallery and are thereafter seen over and over again as they echo forever through the infinitely expanding mirrored chambers of Tumblr, but most of the rest (often 150 or more) are going to be fresh to you when you see them. And some of them (even if only by purest accident) are going to break with tired porn formulas and satisfy somebody’s unanticipated micro-fetish. Fully-dressed-man fetish, anybody?
For example, if you looked at the public-facing promotional material for last week’s shoot at Sex And Submission, you’d get the impression of a fairly standard (although quite well-made) bondage fucking-and-sucking extravaganza. You’d get no hint whatsoever that there was a moment (after her wrists are tied but while his pecker is still inside his pants) like this:
What tickles my fancy about these two photos is that there’s no failure to communicate about the impending bondage blowjob, and yet it’s done in a relatively soft-core way. Sometimes you don’t need to paint the whole picture with primary-color crayons.
For the curious, the woman on her knees in these photos is Casey Calvert.
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April 7th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
Softporn Adventure: “Women! Erotica! Derelicts!”
The eBay seller who posted this auction may indeed, as @textfiles tweeted, be suffering from enjoying a very strong dose of “hope and wishes” if you go by his $3k asking price. But 5¼” floppy-disk porn from 1981, for the Atari 400/800? That’s relevant to our interests here at ErosBlog:
The seller captions the hot-tubbing cover art thusly:
This is the text adventure that inspired the Leisure Suit Larry series released by Sierra.
That’s Roberta Williams on the right, In the center is the wife of Bob Davis (creator of Ulysses), and on the left was On-Line’s bookkeeper.
Let’s look at the back of the box. I remember that funky font (what font is that?) very well, because Sierra Online was still using it when I entered the market for computer games just a couple of years after this was published:
SOFTPORN ADVENTURE
This delightful game has more features than most adventures.
The computer program creates a fantasy world, complete with objects, different areas, and everything else one would expect plus descriptions are full paragraphs (stored on disk) and several new twists and surprises are included. You, the player, have a “puppet” who’s identity you adopt for the game. Your objective? Find and seduce 3 girls!
As in real life, meeting this challenge is not an easy task. It requires money (which you must win at the casino); you must be creative in approaching your women; and there are many dangers to avoid and puzzles to be soled. The subject matter is ssuch that adult males should find this game quite interesting. Others may too — but be forewarned!
— over 48k of actual program memory plus another 48k of text (stored on disk)
— a CASINO, complete with a slot machine, and a blackjack table!
— the ability to SAVE a GAME in progress
— WOMEN! EROTICA! DERELICTS! BOOZE! and MUCH MORE!!!
Last but not least, what’s inside the box?
I’m posting this here because the auction link will be dead (and the pictures gone) in two or three months, but this artifact is worth preserving. As an added bonus, if you’re got a standard “in my day we had to walk through the snow to school, up hill both ways” lecture, now you can profitably add this to it. When your children whine to you about the poor quality of online pornography these days, you can link them to this post and say “Daughter, you think it’s bad now, this is what computer porn looked like when I was your age!”
Update: Of course I wrote this blog post without Googling one damned thing. Which was, as it always is, a mistake. It turns out (see the comments, thanks Jason!) that Jason Scott (the @textfiles guy whose tweet set me off) actually interviewed Chuck Benton about this title for his (Jason’s) epic documentary about text adventures called Get Lamp. A summary of the interview is here and if you scroll all the way down, you’ll be rewarded with a bunch of file links including executable files for the game for several different platforms.
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