I’ve always been a sucker for double and triple entendre. The completely deniable filthy joke (“Only the dirtiest-minded person could possibly think I meant that!”) is the best.

Which is why I am delighted by this excellent shirt design:

The words, alone, might be a bit obnoxious. But with the clouds and rain? Why, it’s a simple celebration of His guiding hand behind every natural phenomenon. A pastor’s daughter known for her environmental consciousness (and who has a deep streak of mischief) could wear it with aplomb, and nobody (but her father, of course) would dare to say “Boo!” to her about it.

I love it.

And then there’s this holiday gem, perfect for every cookie-baking mother you know:

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Whatever I was expecting from my new Twitter account, I can tell you truly, I did not really anticipate it would be a fertile source of answers for that age-old question: What should I blog about today?

And yet, this morning in my Twitter stream I found the following, any one of which I could churn into a full blog post on a slow day:

• @violetblue asking “wondering: what sex toy changed your life?” My flip-sounding answer (but it’s true!): “WordPress. (And its ancestors.)” The beauty of Twitter is that I can just say that and let people unpack it for themselves, whereas if I said it here, I’d need eighteen paragraphs of exposition. But @MollyRen has part of it: “Sex blogs changed my life. For the 1st time I found out what people were *really* doing, met awesome people through them.”
• @mistressmatisse linking to her Stranger column about shooting for Kink.com The excellent quote I would have used to pad a link-post about this item:
  

  Before we began shooting, I asked Bobbi about her limits. She eyed me a little warily. “Don’t slap me in the face–someone dislocated my jaw that way. And don’t call me a stupid whore or spit in my face.”

  I was slightly taken aback. It isn’t that I’ve never done those things. (Except the “stupid whore” part; I don’t like that brand of verbal humiliation.) But I wouldn’t do them to someone I just met unless he or she very specifically asked for that. I suppose it’s different in porn, but I assured her that wasn’t my style of domination.

  So Bobbi and I got along just fine.

• @rollertrain (Rollertrain! I’ve missed you terribly since you left us for art school and moved to a not-many-words PG-13 Tumblr…) passing along a link that informed me of a woman who died after elective buttock-enhancement surgery.
• @MollyRen again, this time her profile link: “Stuffies: A blog about food and sex“. Leading directly to a question for Faustus: Do you suppose feederism, with its sometimes interest in controlling body size/shape in a real and concrete way, has anything in common with the fantastical shrinking women and inflation fantasies you’ve blogged about? (And, yes, I’m aware of the awkwardness of specifying “fantastical fantasies” — but how else to contrast a fantasy that cannot come true, from the great many achievable ones?)

All that hit me inside of ninety seconds, whilst I was still blinking the sleep from my eyes. My head, it’s swimming I tell you!

I scoffed. I balked. I dug in my heels like a crochety old person. Kids these days, and their newfangled fads. It will never amount to anything, I said. Waste of my time. If I wanted to send funny little short messages, I’d have texting enabled on my cell phone. Blah blah blah.

Meanwhile, the world kept right on changing without me.

Slow I may be, but I am finally figuring it out: people I find interesting are having conversations I want to know about, and they’re doing it on Twitter.

So, here goes. My Twitter name is: ErosBlogBacchus.

Better late than never, eh?

It’s not every day that one of my favorite and longest-running sidebar-linked sex bloggers does a porn shoot with my favorite porn production company. In fact, it’s never happened before. So, I’m delighted to announce that Mistress Matisse’s shoot for Kink.com (at their Everything Butt site) has finally gone live.

Now, mind you, given our long virtual association, it would strike me as a little bit weird to show you the closeups of Mistress Matisse cheerfully shoving a huge black dildo up Bobbi Starr’s butt, no matter how much of a hottie you think Bobbi might be (which she totally is). And, to be honest, the free photos and trailer from the shoot don’t show us as much of Mistress Matisse as I was hoping for. As is typical, the focus in a Kink.com shoot is on the submissive in a large majority of the pictures. Fortunately, as a stalwart Kink affiliate I get some extra perks, including member-style access to the shoots when I need it. Which is how I can bring you Mistress Matisse in living color [note: the Everything Butt image I had here at first has been replaced, at her gracious but emphatic request, by a different image she provided, because she thought the EB image unflattering]:

Here [we return now to the originally-scheduled Everything Butt photos] she is in the world’s most barren office, hard at work with the cutting-edge info tech of the early twentieth century:

Whatever her job, though, you cannot argue with perks that include Bobbi Starr:

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A helpful reader sent in this link to a collection of scans from John Willie’s famous Bizarre magazine:

From Usenet:

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This is a memo to the fellow who was spewing (or attempting to spew, moderation of first-time commenters for the win!) his special fermented flavor of crypto-fascist misogynistic crap here this morning. Dude:

Lesbians don’t hate men in general. They just hate YOU in particular.

Here is a special scene for you to savor. Just your sort of thing: strong women, kissing each other, wearing rubber penises, loving on a man without much regard for his feelings on the matter, even stealing his vital essences with turkey basters. Enjoy!

Image credits: Divine Bitches.

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