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March 16th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Theodora’s Trained Geese

I was reading this account of the Emperor Justinian’s debauched wife Theodora, and being struck by the pornographic attention to detail, I thought it might be worth reading the author’s Secret History in greater depth. (Thus does being a sex blogger lead, by strange mischances, to the study of classical texts.) Nor was I wrong:

Often, even in the theater, in the sight of all the people, she removed her costume and stood nude in their midst, except for a girdle about the groin: not that she was abashed at revealing that, too, to the audience, but because there was a law against appearing altogether naked on the stage, without at least this much of a fig-leaf.

Covered thus with a ribbon, she would sink down to the stage floor and recline on her back. Slaves to whom the duty was entrusted would then scatter grains of barley from above into the calyx of this passion flower, whence geese, trained for the purpose, would next pick the grains one by one with their bills and eat. When she rose, it was not with a blush, but she seemed rather to glory in the performance. For she was not only impudent herself, but endeavored to make everybody else as audacious. Often when she was alone with other actors she would undress in their midst and arch her back provocatively, advertising like a peacock both to those who had experience of her and to those who had not yet had that privilege her trained suppleness.

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March 13th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Nude Exotica

I found this bit of nude art decorating one of the pages in an old Exotica magazine:

nude art

Sad to say, I can’t make out the signature.

 
March 10th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Your Wife, Your Problem

Today’s a rocky patch day in my time-wasting internet spaceships game of choice. And one user was afraid to reboot his computer. So he started a thread asking if that was a good idea, at his particular place in the not-very-smooth patching process. First, there was this response from another player:

I have and it was fine. Although once my computer restarted, my wife came out of the background naked, and I had problems playing Eve after that.

So on second thought: don’t restart, I don’t want my wife to come out of your bathroom naked.

Funny enough. But then a member of the game development team took it the next step:

Bathroom or background?

If your wife came out of the bathroom that’s a problem at the user end, if she appeared out of the background that’s a problem at our end.

Drumroll, anyone?

And y’all thought American Airlines had a wife problem back in the day…

 
March 9th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Erect Satyr

A 1527 satyr, ready for action:

satyr with erect prick

From Kinky Delight.

 
March 6th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Arianna Huffington Watches Cathouse

She totally does!

If you’ve ever seen that late night HBO show “Cathouse”, a “reality” show set at the Bunny Ranch brothel in Nevada, you’ll remember Dennis Hoff, the big balding guy who runs the place.

If you haven’t ever watched the show, or been a patron of his establishment I suppose, I don’t know how you’d know of him. He’s not exactly a national figure.

Which is why I did a spit-take on Monday night during the Rachel Maddow show, when Rachel and Arianna and another guest were talking about one or another of Rush Limbaugh’s antics. All unprompted, Arianna volunteered this comparison, which is not without inherent merit:

HUFFINGTON: Yes. He also looks a little bit like the pimp, you know, in the Nevada brothel, you know, in his black shirt, you know… Dennis Hoff, you know, his black jacket.

Of course, it was funnier hearing it in Arianna’s accent, more “zat peemp, in zat brothel” than it reads in the transcript.

Now we know what Arianna watches, late at night!

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March 5th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Ye Olde Catfight

This vintage women-wrestling photo features — you have to admit — a higher class of lingerie than you see in this genre nowadays:

catfight in good lingerie

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March 4th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Catastrophic Ass Tattoos

On a girl, these would be merely unfortunate:

bummer dude

2024 update: I look back on this post with bewilderment. I don’t recognize the guy who wrote it. Apparently, 2009 me (a) thought that these slightly-hairy ass cheeks were somehow determinative of the inked person’s gender; and (b) titrated my ridicule of body art differently by gender; and (c) believed it was OK to ridicule body art in the first place. (Unfortunately a great many of my early posts about tattoos incorporate that last malfunction.) I generally don’t delete or strongly edit old posts that I no longer feel good about, but if I did, this one would be for the chop.

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