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March 4th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Catastrophic Ass Tattoos

On a girl, these would be merely unfortunate:

bummer dude

2024 update: I look back on this post with bewilderment. I don’t recognize the guy who wrote it. Apparently, 2009 me (a) thought that these slightly-hairy ass cheeks were somehow determinative of the inked person’s gender; and (b) titrated my ridicule of body art differently by gender; and (c) believed it was OK to ridicule body art in the first place. (Unfortunately a great many of my early posts about tattoos incorporate that last malfunction.) I generally don’t delete or strongly edit old posts that I no longer feel good about, but if I did, this one would be for the chop.

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March 2nd, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Smarter Than The Teacher

An ancient joke I stumbled on (most recently) at Bad Example:

A teacher asks her class, ‘If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?’

She calls on little Ralphy.

He replies, ‘None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.’

The teacher replies, ‘The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.’

Then little Ralphy says, ‘I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?’

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ‘Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.’

To which Little Ralphy replied, ‘The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on,’ but I like your thinking.’

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March 1st, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Chastity Belts And Lesbian BDSM

I confess to being a mite confoozled by the implications of this lovely vintage porn postcard from Bondage Blog:

french postcard chastity belt porn

It’s super-rich in fetish elements: gloves, corset, whip, chains, shoes, lesbian lust, chastity belt and more. Each of these things has a rich history in fetish porn. But I’m having trouble figuring out the specific fantasy that mixes the lesbians, the sexual-access-position bondage, and the chastity belt. Somebody went to a lot of trouble to set up this tableau. I wish I knew the mental story that goes with it!

 
February 27th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

To Catch A Mermaid

Looking at this illustration, I’m forced to wonder whether the fisherman caught the mermaid, or whether it was the other way ’round:

the catch of the mermaid

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February 26th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Zero To Screaming In Ten Seconds

I hate to borrow from Kinky Delight two days running, but Sybil Hawthorne’s expression as her feet get tickled is too priceless not to show you:

Sybil Hawthorne tickled

Image credit: Hogtied.com.

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February 25th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

You Could Bounce A Dime Off That…

Gene Kelly. From the rear:

Gene Kelly\'s tight butt

Via Kinky Delight.

 
February 24th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

A Letter From Prisoner #44902-112

This has been circulating on the adult webmaster forums I sometimes frequent. Commentary seems superfluous:

Friday, Feb. 6th, 2009 LA MDC

Greetings friends and fans,

I’m sorry that I haven’t contacted everyone before this late date, but recent extraordinary events have overwhelmed me, and rendered me incapable of anything but defensive actions. This is actually the very first opportunity that I have had to sit down and collect my thoughts in sufficient quantity and clarity to justify writing to you at all. I hope you are all in the best of health, and free to move about your world without having to ask permission to do so.

I want to assure you that physically I feel great, as I’ve made some very positive changes in my life, ridding myself of the grip that cigarettes and alcohol have had on my health and well-being. I must confess that I had little choice in the matter because I am presently incarcerated in a federal prison, but these are changes that will help me regain my health and renew my spirit and ultimately emerge from this prison a better man.

Some said it was inevitable that I should pass through here someday, because I’ve always had a problem with authorities telling me what I can and cannot do — but it still seems surreal that I’m in here not for what Paul Little did as a person, but for what the fictional character Max Hardcore did in a movie. Movies that no one was forced to watch (well, except inside a federal courthouse), movies that we as adults in this country ostensibly have the freedom to enjoy or ignore.

The authorities have finally jailed me on the incredibly vague and subjective crime of “obscenity”. Of course, the United States government took it upon itself to order and scrutinize these films despite the fact that no one in the community where I was tried had complained about them. It was clear at my trial that none of the jurors from Tampa Bay had ever seen anything like my videos, but those same people have decided what adults all over this country and, by extension, all over the world can watch in the privacy of their homes. And these films were presented to this jury not in their entirety, but in a way crafted by a judge concerned primarily by perceived “demeaning treatment” in the movies, including the use of “harsh and abusive language” as directed toward certain female actresses in a small number of my movies. Seems strange that an administration that condoned real torture would be so shocked and concerned about “demeaning treatment” and “harsh language” between consenting adult actors in a fictional film, but that’s what happened…

Amazingly, the jury went along with the whole government program, as I now know they almost always do, and convicted me on all 10 counts. The judge sentenced me to 46 months and a fine of nearly one hundred thousand dollars. I’m holding out hope that I can get conviction overturned in a higher court, but it’s an uphill battle that few ever win. Until the ridiculous Miller test of obscenity is thrown onto the trash heap of judicial history, I’m afraid just about any controversial artist could be convicted of it. The laws on the books are clearly out of step with what the public has demanded, so I’m sure it is only a matter of time before the government gets out of the business of trying to enforce morality. However, in the meantime, I would encourage all of you to spread the word about this case throughout the adult and mainstream entertainment industries, as well as letting your representatives in government know how outraged you are about this gross infringement on your freedom of speech.

They are flicking the lights in here and that means it’s time to head off to our cells and be counted in for the night. But I’ll write back soon and let you know how things are going, and pass on the benefit of my experience here. Until then, stay positive and live every day as if it were your last.

Sincerely,
Paul F. Little

Mailing Address

Paul F. Little, Federal # 44902-112
Section 5-North
Metropolitan Detention Center, Los Angeles
P.O. Box 1500
Los Angeles, CA 90053

 
 
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