There really are some fantasies — even consensual ones — that are better left unrealized. Including this Catholic girls school bathroom scene from Alebeard’s Kink Blog, as (it seems) Alebeard now realizes, with benefit of hindsight:

I met her online in a Portland chat room, her pic was deeply sexy, though typically you cant trust pics, especially the sexy ones. But this one turned out to be accurate.

Anyway, she had this fantasy to get tied up and abused in the girls bathroom of a catholic school. She suggested St Mary’s academy on SW 5th ave where I take it she was a student some years ago.

Now, what I should have done was listened, agreed that it was a hot fantasy and moved on, but no.

Naturally the idea was for her to be all tied up with belt marks all over her tits and ass, clamps on and cum dribbling out of her ass, you know, everyday stuff when class got out and the bathroom filled with girls. She has masturbated to this image many times she says and knows just when classes will be on and the place empty
Somewhere in my shrunken head it did dawn on me that maybe if we really did this, police would get involved. She said she was tell them she had been assaulted, did not want to talk about it and would refuse a police interview. Somehow this seemed reasonable to me.

In our minds, this was a great fantasy, Reality however had different ideas

Let me help you with a few fine points in case you try this at home

1. Nuns patrol the halls like guard dogs even when class is in session.
2. Said vicious nuns have evil and cruel timing.
3. When a Nun walks in a bathroom and your cock is deep inside Tina’s ass, there is little one can do to be graceful.
4. Nuns chase one fast, even big nuns, they run in packs.
5. Nuns throw things, they hurt.
6. Nuns do curse.
7. When running without pants on through a field full of Catholic school girls, do not expect them to look away politely and not laugh.
8. When running full speed towards the opening in the fence line, look down to avoid tripping in a gopher hole and flying through the air to land on ones face.
9. Police have no sense of humor about these things.
10. When ones own lawyer spends 20 minutes laughing at you, its less then fun
11. Judges also have little sense of humor even when the charges are minor
12. Community Service sucks

I believe this anecdote also illustrates the wisdom of The First Rule Of Man Law: “Never put your dick in crazy.”

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• Sixty-Nine Lesbian Nuns
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I’ve seen a number of foreign language phrasebooks in my time, but I’ve never seen one that was quite this useful:

Why doesn’t every phrase book have useful phrases for sex?

I’m an unashamed Wiki lover. There’s so much great stuff to be found there, and if you want you can contribute your own knowledge, and help keep those interwebs woven.

Today’s featured article is on restoration literature, which isn’t that thrilling to me, but the graphic they posted with it sure caught my attention!

Although, reading that title, I’m having an “I don’t think that word means what you think it means” moment.

Since I have a couple of minutes left on my lunch break, I’ll tease you with some news…..I had an awesomely sexy holiday season! The man that gives clever roses played Santa, and then some. More details to come soon!

Something about these naughty “student nurses” examining each other made me smile. They are so fresh-faced and earnest!

From Little Mutt.

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I don’t usually post hardcore sex pictures here, but to me this is more of a hardcore smiling picture. You don’t usually see porn starlets looking this gosh-darn happy about the sex they are having:

This is from one of those adult BBS CDs, which are turning into a vintage porn genre all their own. The white lace says “wedding night sex”, but the ballerina slippers make me wonder. And that doesn’t look like wedding undies wrapped around her ankles, either.

Update: It turns out that the original ur-source on this is a 1991 Color Climax porn magazine starring Alicyn Sterling, Peter North, and Jon Dough in a shoot titled “Dance Lovers.” Alicyn plays a dance student who needs some intense personal instruction for a new role…

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By all accounts, Seattle’s lucky to have the The Wet Spot, a sex-positive community center that hosts all manner of adult events and classes. But you know, somebody has got to have the keys, and use of the facilities after hours. That somebody, it turns out, is Executive Director Allena Gabosh, who writes on her blog about

…a great evening a few weeks ago with my boy, alex. He’s such a “cat”. Sometimes he’s in the mood, sometimes he’s not. This time he was. His masochist came out to play. At my request he wore sexy disposable clothing and after I tied him up over a spanking bench, I slowly cut off his clothes and bit, licked, spanked and caned each body part that I exposed. And that was just his warm up.

Later I had him on the bondage bed (we were at The Wet Spot after hours.) After beating his ass with his least favorite toy, I turned him over and played with his cock, wrapping it in his favorite leather cock ring and attaching it to my tens unit. Every time I turned up the tens unit he jumped and I sucked and kissed his cock. Pretty soon his pain and pleasure responses became all jumbled up. :) This got me super horny, so I climbed on top of him and he gave me a great orgasm while I continued to torture his penis.

Then the Grand Finale! Two needles through his nipples. Then the best part, cuddling and making him feel good again (he doesn’t like needles).

Hmmm. That was a fun night.

Via the Electrosex Blog.

Because there can never be enough Smurf porn:

From Spanking Blog.

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