Looks like somebody got a little carried away, and blew out his steel-reinforced silicone sex doll:

Summer picnics in the park, blowjobs on the picnic tables, what could be more summery than that?

Sir and I met up after work. We drove to one of favorite parks since parks are pretty much all we have right now till summers over. It was a nice night to be outside. It was hot and humid but it was comfortable at the park near the water.

We sat on the bench together and started kissing. Our kisses grew more and more passionate. My whole body surged with excitement as I could feel Sir’s passionate burning desire for me there in his kiss.

…

Anyway back to that burning passionate kissing that left me a melting dripping slut. We kissed like that for a good while and then I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had to have some cock. I reached down and felt the stiff pole through his shorts. God it was hard! God I wanted it. We got his pants unfastened and I held his cock in my hand. “Do you want to go over on the picnic table?” He asked. “Yeah, that would be nice.” I answered. Then I added, “Come on hurry up! I want to suck that cock!” He laughed at me and we walked up to the picnic table. He sat up on the table. I sat on the bench and opened my mouth and took in that nice hard delicious cock and sucked it hard. Mmm, my lover has one tasty cock! I felt that steel like shaft with the silky smooth skin sliding across my tongue as the swollen head worked its way into my throat. Oh how I love to have a mouthful of cock! It’s the best!

From Desireous.

I can totally relate to hating being alone. I get missing the comfort of a lover’s touch.

But I do not at all get this:

Is it just me, or is this a Frankenstein-meets-Muppets mashup that’s gone horribly wrong? “Horribly wrong” as in, “Where are the man-bits, dammit?”

But if you’re into that kind of thing, you can buy one of these things here.

I’ve blogged before about the peculiar phenomenon of women who melt down and throw a tie rod end when they “catch” their men enjoying pornography. Commenter Alana over at Pretty Dumb Things shares an anecdote that summarizes the matter very nicely:

I had a semi-friend in graduate school who happened upon her husband jerking off to Internet porn, a girl’s webcam or something. Don’t remember the specifics just know this friend found him out and became completely upset. She told me she was offended he’d jack off to Internet porn.

“What’s wrong with me?” she asked me.

“You didn’t join him,” I said.

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Competing With Porn

Violet Blue threatens:

If I have to sit through another body-by-Barbie production where the chicks’ boobs look like those Alien face-huggers about to burst out and kill me…

She’s not just making that up, it’s a real risk, and not just in bad porn movies. Don’t believe me? I have proof:

We’re on the road today, but of course I “let” The Nymph make our hotel reservations. It’s a funny thing, wherever we go, when The Nymph makes the reservations it always turns out that the only room they have left is the jacuzzi suite. Isn’t that a unique coincidence?

So tonight this will be us. Only, with less beer. And six fewer people.

Remember that old calypso song, Zombie Jamboree?

One female zombie wouldn’t behave;
She say she want me for a slave.
In the one hand she’s holding a quart of wine,
In the other she’s pointin’ that she’ll be mine.
Now believe me folks, yes I had to run;
Husband of a zombie ain’t no fun.
I says “Oh, no my turtle dove
an old bag of bones I cannot love!”

What a good game!
Back to back, belly to belly
Well I don’t give a damn
’cause it doesn’t matter really;
Back to back, belly to belly
At the Zombie Jamboree!

Back to back, belly to belly, I guess it looks something like that at the zombie orgy. Is this what comes after the jamboree?

Bigger version here. What a good game!