Chelsea Girl from Pretty Dumb Things has the tale of her first squirting experience, done in the style of a breathless young girl’s diary, complete with Hello Kitty graphics, colored ink, and stacked exclamation points:

dear diary,

i have something soooooooooo exciting to tell you!!!!

last night, when i & donny were together (& by together i mean doing it, and you know what i mean don’t you) i squirted!!!!

i know!!!!!

i can’t believe it either!!!!

It’s long and funny and well worth your time.

P.S. Anybody who posts “It’s just pee” (or sentiments of that ilk) in the comments will be rounded up in front of the audience and made to endure derisive shouts of “Virgin! Virgin!” We’re so not having that high school argument here. If you’ve been there, you know better. If you haven’t, please shut the hell up kay thanks.

This month’s I Did It for Science is about, you guessed it, the joys of anal sex.

I returned to the mirror, took another look and slowly touched my anus. “Imagine how mom and dad might feel if they knew what you were doing,” the book proposed.

An image of my mother crying popped into my head. My father tried to comfort her, saying, “At least she has a job.” The book encourages anal explorers to write an imaginary letter to their parents explaining what they are doing and why. I skipped the letter. If I had to write an imaginary letter for every action I performed that my parents would deem disturbing, I’d never get anything done.

Doesn’t that sound familiar! The rest of the tale is fairly funny…..but not nearly as hot as the Evil Science Chick’s story.

Somehow Red makes a cattle prod sound like fun. Either it is, or she’s a heck of a good sex writer:

Her hand rubbed over my left bum cheek, over and over again. I felt pussy throbbed as excitement ran through me — anticipation of the jolt to come was giving me an unexpected rush. The I felt the prongs poking my bum — poking, readjusting, poking again. My breath was caught in my throat; it was the point of no return. I breathed deeply. I let the pain wash over me.

I could feel the surge — the peak of the electricity coursing through the muscle. Everything felt funny, like nothing was going to work properly — similar to that numb feeling that happens when limbs fall asleep. My nerves shrieked as the wave of pain washed over me — fast and furious and addictively alluring. I could feel it draining out of me as soon as it began — my jolted nerves sighing with relief. I felt jumpstarted and I felt consumed.

Smiling and giggling uncontrollably, I grabbed at the spot, rubbing it to preserve the tingling. I felt high — my head was floaty and relaxed and alert. Crazed like an addict, I knew I needed more.

Volunteers, anyone?

Like the man said, I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like:

This would be fine art even if it weren’t in the fancy frame!

From alt. binaries. pictures. erotica. vintage.

Oh my god, if I had sex toys like these I would want to keep them on display in my bedroom! So many lovelies, so many yummy designs…..

I could convince my mom this is an art glass mushroom if she saw it in my apartment.

Since this one’s even bigger (I’m squirming in my seat as I imagine it filling me!), it would be even easier to convince somebody it isn’t what they think. Wouldn’t it be fun to be scolding them for their dirty minds while laughing inside!

How many people would look at this and automatically think ‘dildo’? I probably wouldn’t…..but think of how good those raised swirls would feel!

Oh my…..things are getting mighty damp now. Nice and thick, interesting curve, and look at those nubbies. Whew!

I saved my favorite for last. It doesn’t have the pretty colors (or the expense of dichroic glass!) or patterns that the others here have, but the Victorian-era looks of this toy, and thinking how fiendishly it could be used, have me trembling.

Uh, s’cuse me for a bit…..I need to go take care of something!

It’s possible that this is the dirtiest picture I’ve ever put on Eros Blog. Mud bondage, anyone?

The picture is courtesy of Wired Pussy. Pretty naked girls playing in mud puddles, from this shoot. Good dirty fun.

Similar Sex Blogging:

• A Shocking Intrusion
• Gettin' Dirty
• Muddy Man
• Bondage Porn, Hold The Patriarchy
• Electric Sex
• "Do You Wanna Get Dirty?"

I went down to see the oldsters for Thanksgiving again this year, but thankfully I didn’t have a repeat of last year’s fun, which started great but ended rotten. I did see a series of billboards that were funny. First I thought they all had the same misspelling…..but then I decided that was too negative. It’s loads more fun to think they’re for real. The signs all had some variation on this message:

Dick’s Body Shop

24 hour Toe Service

What service do your toes want from Dick? :-)

(What have I been doing with myself? New job, new apartment, lots of melodrama in getting both. Too much traveling. Not enough sexy stuff!)