One of the neat things about downloading dirty pictures from Usenet is the way you can stumble across images that are deliciously bizarre. Like this one from alt. binaries. pictures. erotica. vintage:

As the kids these days like to say: WTF? Is there actually a vinyl-reindeer-antler-sucking fetish out there, or was this model merely bored that day?

There’s a great sequence from a comedy routine by Ron White, where he shares a bit of dialogue he supposedly had with one of his blue-collar buddies:

“We’re all a little bit gay.”

“Naw man, I ain’t gay!”

“Sure you are, and I can prove it to you.”

“Hell no!”

“Well, do you watch porn?”

“Of course man, you know I watch porn.”

“Do you only watch two women?”

“Naw, I like to watch a woman and a man make love.”

“Do you like the man to have a tiny, flaccid penis?”

“Naw! I want to see a big hard throbbing cock!” {pause} “I did not know that about myself!”

Here’s Storm’s opinion on panty removal:

While J frequently tells me to take my panties off, usually in the heat of the moment, my personal opinion is that a girl, in the presence of her lover, should NEVER have to remove her own panties.

Seems reasonable to me!

Never let it be said that I don’t enjoy free swag. Here’s the latest goodie to land in my mailbox: a reproduction of an antique hand-carved die featuring a man and a woman engaged in the ancient art of mutual oral sex. Like the man says, any way you throw this die, it will come up 69:

This, and other naughty dice, come from the novelty dice page at Ellesh’s Closet, where they specialize in “Naughty Historic Novelties for Adults.” I don’t get to Renaissance fairs often enough, but now, through the miracle of the Internet and the good offices of the United States Postal Service, some of the fun stuff there has come to me. Now if only somebody could perfect a “mail order wenches” service….

I apologize for the lack of detailed text-heavy posts lately; I’ve been out and about and doing summery stuff instead of sitting pasty-faced behind drawn curtains at my computer. And that’s not going to change any time soon; I plan to spend a good bit of August chasing The Nymph around in actual forests. You know, the kind with trees and bugs and stuff. Once or twice, there may even be cheese-filled hotdogs roasted over campfires on sticks. It should be a good time. But posting will continue to be light.

Meanwhile, here’s a picture that reflects well on where my head is at. It makes me want to feel cold slippery rocks between my toes. I’m nostalgic, if you will, for that special squint you have to do when you’re wading in bright sunshine and half-blind from all the reflections off every ripple. Fishing pole optional. Naked women, a substantial bonus:

Ah, the joys of summer. (Picture courtesy of Hippie Goddess.)

It’s apparently naughty unicorn week on Boing Boing. The latest two links leave me speechless, so I’m just going to point you at them. Er, enjoy?

I have a soft spot in my heart for Barbarella. I know it’s cheesy by today’s standards, and Jane Fonda’s politics don’t endear her to alot of people, but that movie is just naughty-sexy-fun to me. And her costumes? Still beautiful.

When I saw this painting it reminded me of Barbarella, but brought into the 21st century:

So lovely! The painting is called “Metal Nouveau”, and it’s by Marcus Gray (the link will take you to the full-size image). His web site has several other paintings like this, plus lots in other styles, some sort of cartoonish. Lots of sexy, hot art!