There’s a long article about porn in Time Magazine that I haven’t read. And why didn’t I? Because the first paragraph pissed me off:

“In hotel rooms where pornography is available, two-thirds of all movie purchases are for pornos; and the average time they are watched is 12 minutes. The image instantly summoned is of the traveling businessman who wants a smidge of sexual exercise before retiring, but who is too tired, timid or cheap to summon a call girl.”

The image instantly summoned in my mind is one of pity for the hypothetical wife or girlfriend of Time columnist Richard Corliss, who wrote that last squalid sentence.

Horny travelling men who don’t “summon a call girl” must be “too tired, timid or cheap”, eh?

It must surely suck to be married to that man.

Nah, in my dreams. I wonder how many hits I’d get if ErosBlog really were written up in USA Today?

A guy can dream. And speaking of dreams, here’s what actually was on the front page of the D Section of today’s USA Today:

If Bacchus ever were booted into the Greek god relocation program, he’d do well to wind up here. Two dozen boatshave been lashed together in the service of a writhing mass of human flesh bent on shedding inhibitions and clothes as fast as a four-headed beer bong will allow.

Greek god relocation program? Where do I sign up?

Molesting statuary seems to be all the rage these days. Here’s a woman giving the old stinkfinger to some sort of bronze hero:

I was reminded that I had this pic in my “funny stuff” folder when I saw the real (and graphic) stinkfinger picture on Bondage Blog.

Here’s assigned reading for those of you who still think it’s funny to laugh at fat people: A Fat Girl’s Rhapsody. Not much sex in there, but you will find a good “how not to do it” on discussing appearance with your cyberfriends.

Thanks to Analyze Julie for the link.

Since Aphrodite wasn’t here this week to give you your dose of phallus, I can only assume that the folks who come here to see male parts are going away disappointed. I’d like to do what I can, but there’s only so much isolated dick your average straight fellow can bear to look at. Will you settle for buttock?

You’d better settle, because this week it’s buttock or nothing.

The theme is frat boys gone wrong. First we have the stereotypical paddling:

Next up is bare buttock being hauled down the street wrapped in duct tape. If you like your male buttock neatly packaged, here ya go:

Sheesh! The things I do for my readers.

My sister, who’s been married a couple of times without finding much joy in it, has a number of complaints about married life. But her biggest gripe is the way, as she puts it, that “Once you get married, the shit changes! No matter how good all your love shit is, once you marry, the shit just changes.”

I was reminded of this by a comic essay on marriage, which includes this bit of wisdom:

During the first year of togetherness, you probably wondered if you were a bad partner for fantasizing about someone else to get off as your partner slept next to you, but now you’re able to say “I’d hit that” and have a serious conversation about whether or not Penelope Cruz’s accent would spoil sex with her. FYI, my husband and I agreed that we’d make it a bondage thing and ask her if we could duct tape her mouth shut.

Yup, that’s a change, all right.

Here’s a surreal picture for you, from this naked catfighting gallery by Ultimate Surrender:

It’s hard to see much under that mask, but I think she has pretty lips….