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The Sex Blog Of Record
April 14th, 2005 -- by Bacchus
I don’t usually post nude celebrity pictures on ErosBlog, because there are so many photoshops and fakes, and because I don’t have a good eye for celebrities anyway. I don’t usually recognize even my favorite actors in a new show until I hear their voices. On top of that, I’ve got a readership that would argue at length whether the person in a random tourist snapshot is a man or a woman, based on no better evidence than the shape of a jawline. I can only imagine how many comments this post will accumulate from folks eager to share their opinion on the is-it-or-isn’t-it question. (Hint: Zero would be just fine. Nobody is conducting an opinion poll here.)
Anyway, The Nymph says it looks like Tony to her. And that’s good enough for me:
[This photo was removed in response to a request from Mr. Danza’s attorneys. The salient points in their letter are 1) that the photo is fake, and 2) that it “has caused and continues to cause him distress.” For which, my apologies.]
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April 14th, 2005 -- by Bacchus
So I was looking at this random adult blog, trying to decide whether to do my usual link-and-quote. The blog itself was mostly a porn blog, with a list of affiliate links six times bigger than the blogroll, plus a lot of random porn pictures. Some of the articles were interesting, but many of them had a fakey “this-reads-like-it-was-written-by-a-man-even-though-the-author-name-is-female” feel. Then I got to an article which purported to be a how-to on the fine art of fingering a woman.
It looked promising. Started out strong, with several hints and tips I’ve used myself to good effect. Lots of advice on finding her G-spot and making it go all bumpy-happy. So far so good.
In the middle part, the advice got a bit questionable. Not the substance of it (obviously if she’s dry, you’d better stop rubbing like a madman, unless you are trying to give her a burn) but the tone. (Was it really necessary to call the reader a moron?)
And then I got to the punchline. After paragraphs and paragraphs of how-to material, the breezy warning (paraphrased): “Of course your lady won’t ever get an orgasm from this, but who cares? She’ll love it anyway.”
Gasp, sputter. She’s not supposed to come when I do that? I must have been going about it all wrong.
It must be true: them as can’t do, teach.
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April 13th, 2005 -- by Bacchus
Violet Blue has been looking at a lot of sex blogs lately, and she’s posted a nifty list of advices for sex bloggers. I don’t agree with everything she posted, but most of her observations are right on target. Especially:
And do take a look at other sex blogs — everyone is using the same three Blogger templates these days, so unless you want to be confused with “cumsucker99: diary of a demure ding-dong escort,” see what isn’t being done and do that instead.
Please, oh please, customize your template, even if all you do is change the background color a bit.
April 8th, 2005 -- by Bacchus
The quality on this vintage oral sex picture may not be the best, but I had to share it anyway. Isn’t that just about the happiest smile you’ve ever seen in porn?
From Usenet.
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April 5th, 2005 -- by Bacchus
Here’s a page that lists 38 Arabic terms for the yoni, with poetic descriptions. I can’t speak to the linguistic accuracy of any of this, but it’s entertaining:
El neuffakh (the swelling one ) – So called because a torpid member coming near it, and rubbing its head against it a few times, at once swells and stands upright. To the woman who has such a one it procures excessive pleasure, for, at the moment of the crisis, it opens and shuts convulsively, like the vulva of a mare.
El moudd (the accomodating ) – This name is applied to the vagina of a woman who has felt for a long time an ardent wish for coition. In rapture with the member it sees, it is glad to second its movements of come and go; it offers the matrix to the member by pressing it forward within reach, which is, after all, the best gift it can offer. Whatever place inside of it the member wants to explore, this vulva will make him welcome to, gracefully according to its wish; there is no corner it will not help the member to reach.
From Chapter Nine of
The Perfumed Garden Of of the Shaykh Nefwazi.
At least we know that when old Nefwazi got to work, he paid close attention to conditions in his workspace….
April 5th, 2005 -- by Bacchus
From I’ll Beg, the best headache remedy ever:
Well, last night I had a massive headache. It came on suddenly and I was in no mood for anything more than sleep. Hubby, however, was in the mood for play. Well, I made the mistake of flashing him my boobs while saying “not tonight dear.” He thought that if I could manage enough play to flash him, I could at least stand for a spanking. One of the play rules we have is that if I say no to sex, then I can get spanked – remember we are really in it for fun. I still complained that I had a headache and, therefore, a legitimate reason for saying no. He seemed to think that the endorphins from the spanking might help the headache. Well, finally, after a very firm command to stand for a spanking; I got in position for a spanking; head and shoulders leaning on the bed, boobs dangling down and ass arched into the air.
”’
He picked up his favorite tool – the dreaded spoon – and started spanking me hard with it. He commented that my ass was raising a nice pink already. He switched to the paint stirrer and started fingering me while whipping me with it. That thing can get really stingy, but I started begging for more. I was rocking into his hand and getting breathy. He told me that he really liked the other night when he spanked me until I came & we were going to do that again. He kept fingering me and stroking my clit. I was starting to moan every time he spanked me rather than saying ouch and I even asked for it harder. Finally, I climbed up on to the bed, tail high in the air and started masturbating myself while my Hubby started using the spoon on me. Maybe he is trying to train me to like the thing? It was one of the longest orgasms I have had in a while – I hit the peak, and came down just a little and peaked again. Then Hubby pushed me back into position and fucked me hard from behind. My ass was definitely hot now and it felt good feeling him push into it. I went to sleep so easily, my head didn’t hurt at all and the pain on my backside felt good. I slept soundly all night, I definitely think I will let Hubby try this ‘cure’ again.
Millions of American husbands owe a debt of gratitude.
April 3rd, 2005 -- by Bacchus
After that post last week featuring frat boy buttocks, it only seems fair to give equal time to the callipygean delights that sorority girls (or, at least, the young ladies who masquerade as sorority girls while making soft-core pornography) have to offer. This fetching tableau spotted over at Spanking Blog ought to do nicely:
Cute cute cute!
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