About ten months ago I asked:

Does anybody have, or have a link to, a really good high-quality scan of that Spy Magazine cover from 1992 or thereabouts that featured Hillary [Clinton] Photoshopped into an impressive dominatrix outfit?

There was a resounding silence.

Fortunately, The Boss at The Collar Purple had better luck:

I’d still like a really hi-res scan, if anybody’s got one.

Update: It gets better.

Here’s an explicit example of the famous “Shunga” style of 19th Century Japanese art:

Found at this large shunga gallery.

From The Red Sneaker Diaries:

I wasn’t paying attention to him, till I felt him slip what I identified as a spotted banana bean (yellow with brown spots) between my pinkie toe and its neighbour. I smiled slightly as he slipped a cherry red cinnamon bean in the next spot, the selective toe spreading feeling almost intrusive, but in a good way.

I get a lot of odd mail. But this has to be about the lamest message I ever got:

From: “neeeeeeeeeeeed” {xxxxxxxx_xxx@hotmail.com}
To: {bacchus@erosblog.com}
Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2004 4:35 AM
Subject: i am need

i am need picuters sex                              plezzzzzzzz

Somewhere out there there’s someone who wouldn’t recognize a clue if it ate him.

Danor inquires:

Dear Miss Manners: My boyfriend and I very much enjoy giving each other head, and we are both very good at it. However, shortly after an explosive orgasm on his part, whereas my tendency is to keep sucking on his penis with the same enthusiasm and painstakingly perfected technique which I have been employing throughout the blowjob, he quickly begins making high-pitched whimpering noises, groaning “No more!” and pushing my head away from his crotch. I gather from his reaction that the intensity of pleasure has reached a pitch which he no longer finds bearable, and I have always considered that the courteous response is to withdraw and let him catch his breath. However, when I have had multiple orgasms from cunnilingus and try to wriggle away to indicate my fear that I may lapse into unconsciousness if he continues his activity, he simply grasps my hips more firmly and continues with more vigor than ever! Should I take this as an indication that he wishes me to override his requests for “no more” as well?

Discuss among yourselves.

A recent Adrants article reproduces two spoof diamond ads which recycle this old joke with a sharper edge. Ouch!

As for the place where Adrants found the spoof ads: I’d love to link it, but not while it’s got a craven popup that makes you click “OK” before you can see the page. Memo to Luke Ford: Which side are you on?

So I was reading National Geographic when I found this unlikely statement:

Some states, like Montana, are bringing down the hammer on their clothing-optional residents. A first offense for skinny-dipping means six months in jail; a second offense garners one year; a third offense, a hundred years. “It causes you to sit up and say, My gosh, who thinks these kinds of prison sentences make sense?” Morton said.

A hundred freakin’ years? For skinny dipping? I’ve been to Montana, they can be conservative but they aren’t stupid. I’ve shaken the hands of several people I suspect of having skinny-dipped in Montana, and hugged at least one more. I had to check this out.

Turns out Montana law isn’t quite that crazy. Under Section 45-5-504 of the Montana Code, that draconian 100 year penalty is for a third conviction for “indecent exposure”:

(1) A person commits the offense of indecent exposure if the person knowingly or purposely exposes the person’s genitals under circumstances in which the person knows the conduct is likely to cause affront or alarm in order to:
   (a) abuse, humiliate, harass, or degrade another; or
   (b) arouse or gratify the person’s own sexual response or desire or the sexual response or desire of any person.

I’m thinking it would be tough to convict the average skinny dipper under that statute. “Hey, it was dark! How was I supposed to know that Granny Grundy was watching the river through night vision goggles?”