Despite its title, the article “Why I Can’t Rape My Wife” is pretty damned funny:

I’ve always wanted to be the High Lord of Depravity, but being fundamentally lazy and naive, I’ve come to realize that frankly, kinky sex is just too much work.

I broke up laughing at this:

Here’s the secret of cheap bondage: Your partner’s faking it. That ad-libbed knot at the right bedpost slipped twenty minutes ago, and he’s been working overtime to keep his hand in place. That blindfold-cum-scarf? She’s been peeking out from under since you started. Unless you’re some kind of sadistic boy scout, your trivial attempts at impromptu bondage are doomed to failure. You need the professional equipment, pal.

Long but worth it.

There’s a great collection of printable Valentines cards at You, Yes You. (A donation to the artist’s beer fund is requested. Sez the artist: “Fuck Hallmark.”)

Anyway, this one is in honor of Jen’s “puppy style” improvement to the sexual lexicon:

Sniff! (And thanks to Eden for the link.)

I know that in the current politically correct environment, a nursing woman’s breast is supposed to be devoid of all sexual connotation, and hence off-topic for a sex blog.

Screw that.

This breast of an Iraqi mother is prettier than Janet Jackson’s boob ever hoped to be.

From photographer Stephanie Sinclair.

Gentle Readers, I’ve been trying to play it cool, not pestering you with daily updates of “I love her and I miss her and she’s wonderful but she’s not here and if I have to wait another day I’m gonna explode!” All true, but it makes for boring prose unless you are a much better writer than I am.

But time marches on. She’s packing madly, and she’s going to be back (going to be back here with me!) in a week.

A week! It seems like forever.

I’m still: astounded; deeply honored; blessed; amazed; incredibly lucky; stunned…. You get the idea. It’s brave and incredible, what’s she’s doing for us, so that there can be an “us” without more long interminable months of being apart the way prudent boring people would probably handle this.

A week! Less than a week, I tell you!

Here’s a funny picture in the best tradition of found pornography. Doggy style tree sex at its best! (Or should that be “puppy style”? Somebody recently called it that in my comments, and there’s a case to be made for the proposition that it sounds even more fun when you put it that way.)

Well, not in my suitcase, actually. But it’s not a bad idea. Talk about taking along all the comforts of home!

Anyway, this is from Suitcase Girl.

Thanks to TickleFight for the link.

Similar Sex Blogging:

• A Genuinely Hogtied Genuine Darling
• The Virtual Contortionist
• June Is Naked Bride Season
• Because She Can

Here’s a museum-style picture of one of those historical chastity belts with which traveling men were once wont to encumber their wives:

Interestingly, although great and unsanitary lengths (note the viciously toothed slot) were taken to prevent the conception of unauthorized heirs, this device does not include the complete wrap-around iron strap with additional toothed opening at the rear, as was sometimes seen. Apparently the man buying this device was content to prevent good old vaginal sex; if he was concerned about any anal pleasure dalliances with the butler, he didn’t let it influence his purchasing decisions.