A sensationalist blog title, to be sure. But Violet Blue, who does a lot of sex writing, has discovered that Microsoft Word is squeamish about suggesting sex-related words when she mis-types them, even though those words evidently are in its database:

I’ve noticed that Word is reluctant to suggest some sex words as spelling alternatives when it doesn’t recognize what I wrote. For instance, if I write “Windoze” and spell-check it, the program will suggest “Windows” and a few other alternate words. If I insist on my spelling and click “ignore” it tells me I picked a word not in the dictionary, and am I sure I want to continue?

But with some sex words, it behaves differently. Here’s an example I’m running into repeatedly tonight: in my draft, I typed dildo as “didlo” a couple of times. Word’s spell-check caught it as a mistake and suggested the following words: dido, idol, dodo and dado. But when I corrected the spelling to “dildo” it unhighlighted (what it does with correct spellings), and when I clicked “ignore” it didn’t tell me I was using a word outside the dictionary or if I was sure I wanted to continue.

So, it knows how to spell “dildo”. Why won’t it offer me the correct suggestion in the list?

I have two reactions to this. The first is a sort of mild humorous derision, which Microsoft earns and shares broadly with the entire sex-phobic corporate world.

More seriously, though, it seems worrisome in a minor way that a company with so much influence over the “means of production” of written English has the ability to disfavor and deprecate entire vocabularies. Words are what people use to think with. Influence — even subtle influence — over the inventory of available words is real power.

Like a lot of men, I’m fascinated by finely-machined steel objects that can be assembled, disassembled, and tinkered with. I can’t not visit the Snap-On Tools van when it comes to my neighborhood, it’s got too many nifty chrome-steel toys in it. And the plumbing section of the hardware store is evil; I’m always in there screwing pipe fittings together and building little sculptures. Metal stuff makes the best toys, and even though I lost my Erector Set decades ago, I’ve never forgotten how much fun it was.

So, accordingly, I’m in awe of this new toy:

It’s called the Ballz Master and the marketing copy goes like this:

The Ballz Master Set is a tinker-toy lover’s dream collection, allowing you to assemble a huge range of different stainless steel dildos. You get two different end balls and one each of four middle balls. A total of eleven body segments in three different lengths provide lots of options for the finished length of your toys. You get a hefty base and handle, of course, and a sharp-looking padded aluminum case with foam insert to safely store and transport your Ballz!

I’m not sure how practical this toy set would be, but it sure would be fun to tinker with!

Sometimes I have to link to an article (like this one on playing with anal toys) as much for the post title as for the content. How can you not read an article entitled A Spy In The House Of Ass?

My girl’s eyes grow wide as I remove the fatter butt plug from its packaging and brandish it before her. “You wanna put that in me?”

“C’mon, it’s not that big. I had mine in for like half an hour.”

She relents. I watch, fascinated, as her little asshole expands to accommodate the plug at its widest cross-section and then collapses around the narrow neck above the base, locking the toy into position. Leslie sighs. I pull her to the edge of the mattress, push her legs against her chest and plunge into her cunt. “Now you have both holes filled, you little slut!”

And when she comes the butt plug shoots out of her, bouncing off the wooden floor like a rubber ball. We both giggle. I switch holes — if the butt plug won’t keep her rear-end occupied I will — and it’s not long before I burst inside her, my knees threatening to buckle.

No commentary, no context, no Ebay auction, all I have is a picture:

Cornell University may soon take to selling vibrators in the student infirmary, according to the Cornell Daily Sun. Apparently they will come with some suggested uses students might not have thought of without help:

As with anything else they sell, the dispensary will give out educational materials explaining how to properly clean a vibrator that two women are going to share and what exactly vibrators can be used for.

Bacchus would not have thought that your typical horny college girl would need such suggestions, but apparently Cornell girls are a little slow — so much so that they don’t even know how to order stuff over the Internet:

I’m sure there are people who are dying to find vibrators and they don’t know where to go, so Gannett, go ahead,” Keith Hermanstyne ’04 said.

Others took a more practical approach.

“I think one of the most important things is for women to be able to get themselves off. It’s better than going to the sketchy shop downtown where they have to check the batteries for you,” Sara Jacobs ’05 said.

Thanks Instapundit for the story.

This story is a few months old, but it’s about something that’s been buried for a couple of thousand years, so what’s the hurry? It seems that a trove of ancient Chinese bronze dildos was discovered. Speculation as to their use seems, ah, imaginative:

Archaeologists in China have uncovered seven ancient bronze dildos in a Han Dynasty tomb.

This is the first time so many have been unearthed from that era (206 BC – AD 25).

The dildos were cast from a mould, suggesting they were made by a specialist artisan.

Archaeologists say the dildos uncovered in Xian could have been used by eunuchs.

They also say palace maids may have used them on sexually-deprived imperial concubines.

They expect to find more dildoes in the city in north-western Shaanxi province.

If China today is anything like as sexually repressed as European communist countries typically were, I guess this sort of fevered speculation is as close as the archaeologists can get to actual porn. I wonder if psuedointellectual cheap little treatises like “Some Suppositions on the Usages of Bronze Dildos During the Han Dynasty, with 17 Fully Engraved Plates” are sold as pornography in China, the way “Medical Sex Manuals” were sold in the US and Britain back when porn was still a felony?

She’s going to make some young man very happy:

Via Kinky Delight. Apparently she’s a talented young lady who goes by the nom-de-porn of Sabrina Squirts because she’s “the only real 18-year-old amateur who can squirt over ten feet!” Sounds kinda pro to me, but what do I know? You be the judge.

Similar Sex Blogging:

• A Collection Of Sex Toys
• A Hexagonal Paradise
• Those Kinky Geeks
• Penis Plugs: Now With Set Screws!
• Engineers (Don't) Have More Fun
• Carrie Fisher In Chains
• Extremism In The Pursuit of Geekdom Is No Vice