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Phone Sex: Calling It In

Saturday, December 21st, 2019 -- by Bacchus

I gotta say right up front: I have not sampled the conversational wares at 1-800-phonesex.com. My Nymph takes a robust stance on monogamy, and in her view, sharing my sexual fantasies over the phone with a stranger would violate our mutual commitment to it. She is aware, I assume, that there’s zero risk to our relationship from a conversation of that sort with a paid professional conversationalist. But there are rules in life, and these are hers.

No matter. Phone sex is more fascinating to me anyway because of the durability of its business model. Commercial phone sex has been around since the 1970s; the porn magazine High Society is said to have set up the first phone sex line during the Carter administration. It survived, after a few high-flying years, a crackdown on adult content by the big phone companies who used to do the billing for those infamous 1-900 numbers. It survived the rise of the internet; and it even survived the complete elimination of 1-900 billing by the last phone company willing to do it, half a dozen years ago. People like phone sex and they don’t mind paying for it, even in 2019.

This shouldn’t be a surprise. There’s a lot of loneliness in the world. What could be nicer than calling a number and having a sexy voice on the other end who is ready to play along with whatever raunchy sexual scenario you feel like sharing? And who is, in all likelihood, a practiced and professional roleplayer, somebody more skilled than you can believe at painting startling and delightful details onto your rough erotic sketches?

Hell yah that business model survives:

1-800-phone-sex screenshot

But it is 2019, and without going all “kids these days” on you, there’s a bit of evidence that younger demographics may benefit from pointers about how to make the most of a paid-by-the-minute erotic phone call. Smart operators have some surprisingly good “before you call” information on their websites these days, which is not a thing one ever saw in “back in the day” print advertising or its early web equivalent. The 1-800-phonesex people offer not only a pretty good “Phone Sex Guide” linked from the bottom of their front page, but also a set of “Phone Sex Tips” that read remarkably like something you might once have found in a better men’s magazine. There are even some transcripts billed as being records of real phone sex calls, which make interesting reading if you’re unsure how this kind of call might go.

This drollery from the intro to the phone sex guide made me laugh:

Exploring your deepest fantasies with someone who has made a career of accepting those fantasies should be something that you allow of yourself. If you’re still hesitant, don’t worry. We can hold your hand through this! Metaphorically, of course. You’re going to need your hands.

Yes, indeed! If you don’t need at least one of your hands, you’re probably not doing it right…

phone sex banner

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The Lonely Switchboard Operator

Wednesday, July 11th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

“One ringy-dingy, two ringy-dingy…” Hooking people up is a lonely job, but sometimes it can be rewarding, especially if you listen in afterwards:

telephone operator masturbates while listening in on other people's phone sex

This artwork of the self-pleasuring telephone switchboard operator is from the cover of 1985’s I Casi Della Vita #22.

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Indian Sex Talk

Saturday, August 13th, 2016 -- by Bacchus

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Paid phone sex services were a thriving enterprise long before the internet brought us infinite porn and camgirls on tap. I have thick 1980s porn magazines in my collection where more than half the pages consist of colorful and lurid phone sex advertising. Phone sex services are still popular today because phone sex is a lot more personal and interactive than porn, while being (usually) cheaper than a session with a camgirl or an in-person sex worker. Modern phone sex doesn’t even require a telephone, now that voice connections via the internet are such a common and easy thing. And that allows for international marketing of what used to be quite country-specific services. Which makes this your lucky day if you have a “thing” for the accents of South Asia, because Indian Sex Talk — described as “the #1 phone sex chat service in India” — is now available anywhere that you can get an internet connection.

indian-sex-talk-screenshot

The site makes clear that international customers are welcome, but my impression is that the service may primarily be aimed at customers within India. The languages spoken by each of the phone sex operators on the site are listed, and in a minority of cases the girls may not speak English, so make sure you check before you call. Sorry, gents, but if you want to chat with Pooja from Delhi, you’ll need to do it in Hindi or Punjabi:

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Sexy Phone, Take Two

Friday, December 11th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Here’s another approach to the sexy phone problem explored the other day. Instead of a sexy phone made of crappy plastic, just use the solid old black rotary (just like Mistress Matisse!) but get yourself a sexy telephone table:

bondage girl in service as a sexy phone table

Leather straps and ball gag not included; no batteries required.

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