It’s vanishingly rare for any sex blogger to link to another sex blogger’s sex toy review. The very best of such reviews are at risk of being boring, because they swim in the same sea as a trillion crap reviews banged out by uninspired affiliate marketers. Thus there’s pressure not to blog “too much” about sex toys; and why would you blog about somebody else’s sex toy review when you’re limiting your own blogging on sex toy topics?

Well, in my case, the answer is, when the review in question is by Ephiphora and she’s reviewing a gifted used Sybian:

I am in disbelief as I unbox this toy, because I still don’t believe that someone would send this to me, ever, let alone for free…

But there it is. A Sybian. In all its hulking glory. Safe and sound, with the grotesque attachments neatly folded into a ziploc. It’s smaller than I imagined, but still quite a beast. It’s heavy, it’s loud, and the puny “handles” on the sides are laughable. I don’t know where I’m going to store it, and my boyfriend will never forgive me for acquiring yet another huge sex accessory.

Too bad. If someone offers you a Sybian, you say yes. This is law. You do not turn down a Sybian.

It turns out that the story behind Epiphora’s used Sybian is tangentially related to my post about Outliving Your Sex Toys. Epiphora’s actual review is about as you’d expect (the Sybian is big, it’s awkward, using it is something of a chore). But Epiphora plans to take good care of the beast:

Thank you, anonymous reader, for thinking of me as the recipient of your unwanted Sybian. I will take good care of it. In fact, I shall station it in my living room and cajole people into trying it when they come over, Howard Stern style. I figure it’s the right thing to do.


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