Reviewing A Used Sybian
It’s vanishingly rare for any sex blogger to link to another sex blogger’s sex toy review. The very best of such reviews are at risk of being boring, because they swim in the same sea as a trillion crap reviews banged out by uninspired affiliate marketers. Thus there’s pressure not to blog “too much” about sex toys; and why would you blog about somebody else’s sex toy review when you’re limiting your own blogging on sex toy topics?
Well, in my case, the answer is, when the review in question is by Ephiphora and she’s reviewing a gifted used Sybian:
I am in disbelief as I unbox this toy, because I still don’t believe that someone would send this to me, ever, let alone for free…
But there it is. A Sybian. In all its hulking glory. Safe and sound, with the grotesque attachments neatly folded into a ziploc. It’s smaller than I imagined, but still quite a beast. It’s heavy, it’s loud, and the puny “handles” on the sides are laughable. I don’t know where I’m going to store it, and my boyfriend will never forgive me for acquiring yet another huge sex accessory.
Too bad. If someone offers you a Sybian, you say yes. This is law. You do not turn down a Sybian.
It turns out that the story behind Epiphora’s used Sybian is tangentially related to my post about Outliving Your Sex Toys. Epiphora’s actual review is about as you’d expect (the Sybian is big, it’s awkward, using it is something of a chore). But Epiphora plans to take good care of the beast:
Thank you, anonymous reader, for thinking of me as the recipient of your unwanted Sybian. I will take good care of it. In fact, I shall station it in my living room and cajole people into trying it when they come over, Howard Stern style. I figure it’s the right thing to do.
Indeed.
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“the very best of such reviews are at risk of being boring, because they swim in the same sea as a trillion crap reviews banged out by uninspired affiliate marketers.”
Says the affiliate marketer who subjected us to multiple posts within a week’s time about sex toy offerings. Tell us Bacchus how your sale posts are somehow more “inspired” than standard sex toy review content.
Bacchus, you old scoundrel, for some people, I’d suppose that the value of a USED Sybian would increase exponentially…
Kem, I was by no means excluding myself from that criticism! I strive to be better, but I also try to limit the raw number of such posts because it’s so easy to fall short.
That said, I don’t apologize for the affiliate links that make all this possible. By “subjecting” you to those posts I have secured payment for another month’s hosting bill. I’ve also put some fun toys under some holiday trees, which is good works if you squint just right.
December is the sex-toying-est time of the year and the sex toy sales move product, so you’ll see more such posts before the month is out. These posts are not my best stuff but they’re not my worst, either. And I’m mot rich enough to do this without a revenue model. I wish I were, but I’m not.
My Girl had so many rapid orgasms the first time riding a sybian that she passed out on it…She loves it
I live in the Villages – the huge retirement community in Florida. I have been to two estate sales in the past year or so that had sybians for sale. Both were tagged sold within a few minutes, so the word is out!