Porn In Your Pouch, Porn In Your Pocket
Ancient art abounds with what art historians and archeologists love to describe as “fertility figurines”. I’m not sure if they are deliberately being obtuse, or if this is a consciously-delicate circumlocution. But we know in our hearts that these fertility figurines were objects of personal art, to be carried around, treasured, and perhaps fondled in private moments. In fine, an early technology of personal porn:
This one is in the British Museum, having been donated thereunto in 1914 by the 5th Earl of Carnarvon. Egyptologist Gay Robins in The Art of Ancient Egypt describes it:
“Female fertility figurine of blue Egyptian faience with details added in black. The legs are not broken but intentionally end at the knees. This is a common characteristic of such Middle Kingdom figurines, perhaps meant to limit the figure’s power of movement or possibly because the lower legs were regarded as inessential to the figure’s function.”
Hmmm, where else have I seen a small figural sculpture with the legs omitted as inessential to function? Oh, right… Yeah, I’ve got your fertility figurine right here:
Image and descriptive citation both provided by one of ErosBlog’s loyal patrons. Thanks!
Similar Sex Blogging:
Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=30992
Bacchus, appropriately, there is a timely article which you may find of interest
and relevance here:
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/sex-toys-history-romans-dildo-b2288055.html
Thank you, that’s great!
I prefer the Guardian’s headline: “It’s not a darning tool, it’s a very naughty toy”.
It was found with other objects including shoes and leather offcuts. It is known from literature that some Classic dildos were wooden with a leather covering and lubricated with olive oil.
The Guardian also helpfully gives a link to the academic paper: https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/antiquity/article/touch-wood-luck-protection-power-or-pleasure-a-wooden-phallus-from-vindolanda-roman-fort/53F4B0838D23DB65F6A244695624102E “Combining evidence for potential use-wear with a review of other archaeological and contextual information, the authors consider various possible interpretations of the function and significance of the Vindolanda phallus during the second century AD.”
“I’ve done a lot of work with medieval bishops’ registers…”
We’ve all been there.
Did I forget to give the Guardian link? Some different info than the Independent article.
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/feb/20/its-not-a-darning-tool-its-a-very-naughty-toy-roman-dildo-found
The corresponding author says they were aware of leather being possibly important and have discussed the matter with the Vindolanda Archaeological Leather Project but they have left it up to them to investigate further. You would think that would be something to mention in the article, considering it would affect the wear on the wooden part if it were covered in sewn leather. It would also assuage the fear of splinters mentioned by many commenters. It looks like somebody cleared out a shoemaker’s shop and dumped it all together.
The splinters concern just makes me laugh. Well-finished hardwoods are a tactile delight, and no more likely to splinter than steel or stone.
See also: The Prettiest Dildo Carver
Bacchus, your readers who want to buy or craft their own wooden dildo, might appreciate knowing that maple, cherry and walnut for instance have a tight grain that can be sanded so smoothly that can be literally buffed to a shine and treated (lightly), with food grade mineral oil. There are also food-grade paraffin waxes…
Some woods, oak for instance, have by nature a long “splintery” grain, and in many instances can actually be actually used as “soda” straws, so you may find it expedient to avoid it. It’s also subject to harboring body fluids because of this feature…
Though oak shouldn’t be toxic (as acorns are edible), neither are maple (a source of edible maple syrup), or cherry (a source of edible fruit), or walnut (a source of edible nuts).
One nice thing about wood penises (unlike pyrex or steel, or polished stone), is that they are “warm”, and can be easily fashioned into whatever shape, size, and configuration one might desire or be curious about.
Like other sex toys, slipping a condom on them just before use, helps keep them clean…
By the way, as Bacchus noted, even oak can be finished to safety, by sealing it with a commercial grade liquid finish.
A wooden floor grade acrylic should be good if you dip it. Two coats might be necessary to seal the pores…
Oh, and a good source for something like 5000 grit carbide sandpaper, for final finishing, can usually be easily found at auto supply stores, in paint or headlight polishing kits.
Proper sanding of your wood should be done in stages. You may have to start with something rough like 150 grit, then 220 or 240 grit, then 320 grit, then 400, 600, 800, 1000 etc. up to the highest number you can find.