February 1st, 2012 -- by Bacchus
Hating On Sluts And Whores: Sour Grapes
Y’all know I don’t believe in sluts. But even if I did, it’s always been a mystery to me why your average man might object to them.
Self-described fetish model and BDSM porn starlet Rain DeGrey says it’s a simple case of sour grapes (if you don’t remember your Aesop, click here):
When someone is hating on SLUTS & WHORES, what it really means is they are upset the sluts aren’t paying any attention to THEM.
Thanks to Bondage Blog for spotting this.
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Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=7754
Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=7754
Sadly, that may not be the whole story. I am in a fraternity and am constantly surrounded by such behavior even among those who sleep around themselves and thus have no need to feel jealous. Certainly though, that maybe be the explanation among a certainly subset of men, but the issue is far deeper.
Bacchus, I believe you are SO ‘right on’ about the comparison to the Aesop’s fable that you linked.
Most guys who cry “SLUT” are either angry for being literally previously rejected by the female in question, or they know in their hearts that they would never stand a chance at getting her in bed, or they are trapped in a marriage that has obviously become routine or otherwise unfulfilling, or they married for money, or the boss’s daughter etc., and there is no real mutual sexual attraction between them.
Obviously these guys are thinking about this woman in a sexual way.
Women, on the other hand, call another woman a slut because they fear losing their man to her or fear that she will trigger lustful thoughts in their man’s mind about having relationships with such women, and either fear that they cannot compete with such women, or worse yet, are unwilling to compete, because they are using sexual denial to control their men.
Such women are insecure or have inferiority complexes, (they fear being compared unfavorably with them), and unless you like playing such games, should be avoided as soon as such behavior is first displayed.
Often the term “whore” is erroneously applied interchangeably for the same reasons, but of course has a whole different meaning.
I have weighed in here ( http://www.eros...slut/ ) about how I feel about “sluts” versus their accusers.
My all-time favorite “slut” joke is contained within my comment here: http://www.eros...luts/ I find the joke to be extremely informative about human behavior.
I also placed a comment here: http://www.eros...girl/ which I think might well reflect most men’s opinions on “sluts”.
Bacchus, you say you don’t believe in sluts, and though I know what you mean, and share your opinion on the matter, I at the same time DO indeed believe in sluts, as attested to in my comment here: http://www.eros...tars/ What I DON’T believe in, is the polar opposite of a slut…
Perhaps just an objectification ritual to dehumanise the other person, justifying doing whatever you want to them, rather than taking their feelings into account. Some people Want wild crazy sex with no phone call the next day, but if she asked for a phone call and you didn’t follow up, calling her a slut lets you off the hook.
This kind of sentiment seems to be circling my brain a lot lately. There are a lot of people who seem to think straight/bisexual men are entitled to shameless promiscuity, while straight/bisexual women who “put out” are cheap sluts (shameshameshame…). I don’t even understand how that logically works! How is there supposed to be a world where straight dudes can fuck anyone they please, but none of the women can fuck multiple guys in a certain timespan? I guess the point is, there isn’t supposed to be. To people who believe in sluts, sex cheapens women. So these men are participating in acts that are meant to be demeaning. . .but they’re not demeaned by it, somehow? They’re just men?
. . .you can see that I’m having trouble penetrating slut-shaming logic. Maybe I’m having difficulty categorizing it at all.
Actually kind of reminds me of this joke…
Q: What’s the difference between a slut and a bitch?
A: A slut will fuck anyone, a bitch will fuck anyone but you.
Sour grapes indeed…