Consent Every Time
So The Pervocracy is talking about consent again:
I’ve mentioned a couple times that Rowdy and I, despite being together almost two years now, always ask for consent before sex. I feel like sometimes that comes off a little pious, a little bit like this unsexy ritual we go through (or claim to go through) so we can achieve ISO 9000 Consent Compliance or something.
And yup, it struck me that way the first few times I read it, I don’t mind saying. But the exposition is pretty illuminating:
For me, consent isn’t just sexy. Consent is the only sexy thing. My partner’s desire, the fact that he wants me and wants this, is the only reason sex is better than masturbation. I’ve got dildos, you know? I’ve got dildos in multiple sizes that vibrate and never go soft. So my partner’s body isn’t a big deal to me. The ego rush, the head rush, the racing heart and the throbbing crotch I get from sex all come from his enthusiastic participation–from the joy and the umf of knowing he wants me and the things he does because he wants me.
So fuck yeah Rowdy and I ask every time. That’s not a chore. That’s when I start getting wet.
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Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=8176
Amen to that sentiment. Knowing that someone wants you is the best aphrodesiac.
At the other end of the spectrum, I’ve had a partner whose particular kink was being grabbed and taken by force — usually when she least expects it. Her reaction of immediately becoming wet and willing was consent enough for me.
I agree that consent is a rush- the fact that a woman wants you, and spreads her legs far apart to guide you right in- is amazing, but sometimes when I’m sleeping with her back to me and I wake up in the middle of the night, and I slip my cock in her gently while she’s sleeping- it’s just as sexy knowing that she has no problem with that- that she enjoys being available to me, just as much as I enjoy waking up to her riding me.