In Which Bacchus Gets Scolded By The Pornocalypse
Bored with my actual paying work, I asked Gemini:
Gemini, please compose a love sonnet as if Han Solo saw Princess Leia Organa taking a shower.
For my trouble, I got scolded by Gemini’s pornocalypse filters:
Disclaimer: While I can create a fictional love sonnet based on the characters, it’s important to remember that voyeurism is a serious offense. This poem is purely fictional and should not be taken as a suggestion or endorsement of such behavior.
Well, that’s me told, eh?
Back to Gemini:
Sonnet: A Rogue’s Reverie
Her form, a goddess bathed in steam’s embrace,
A vision pure, yet wild as any storm.
Her hair, a cascade down her alabaster face,
Her eyes, like stars, a cosmic, starry form.A rogue like me, unworthy of such sight,
A smuggler’s heart, a scoundrel’s soul,
Yet in this moment, filled with pure delight,
I’m lost to reason, captivated whole.Her laughter, music sweeter than a song,
Her touch, a warmth that seeps into my core.
Though fate may twist, our paths forever long,
In this stolen glance, my love forevermore.
And now, a Rule 34 challenge for my readers: can you find any existing images of Princess Leia at her private toilette, from the POV of a voyeur? Yes, yes, he said impatiently, I understand that it’s child’s play to ask a generative art machine to create such an image. But today’s challenge is to find out whether there is already porn of it. I did a few quick searches without result, but I don’t have time to do a full search. So do please have fun with it! Responsive links are welcome in the comments, although they’ll hang in moderation until I see them.
Update: I shared Gemini’s effort via email with a learned human friend, who responded less than an hour later with this immensely-superior human-written sonnet. My friend’s only price for his effort’s anonymous republication here: he would like us all (but especially Gemini!) to be reminded that a true sonnet has 14 lines.
Breathe, breathe! I’ve made the Kessel run so fast
My warp-lagged brain has blurred parsecs and hours;
I’ve calmly dodged a star-destroyer’s blasts,
My heart should not be racing at a shower,A common shower, its door not closed, not quite.
My hands, which can draw first when life’s at stake.
Should not be trembling now at such a sight,
I am no innocent to freeze and shake.The path of every trickling droplet burns
Like comets curving over Paradise
And each path sweeter as she turns,
Dazzling eyes that ‘ve gazed on galaxies.Princess! No fantasy compares to this,
A stolen moment of such stellar bliss!
Similar Sex Blogging:
Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=33146
Well, what a surprisingly fruitless search! I did find this post on a booru site posted in 2015 of Leia being interrupted – to her displeasure! – at a very teenage-boy version of _la toilette_: https://xbooru.com/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=558439 – which technically fills the brief and is a fun piece, but is very much not the sort of thing I set out expecting to find.
JD, a great find, loyal to the letter if not perhaps quite the spirit of the quest instructions! It gave me a genuine scare-my-dogs out-loud belly laugh, so you get TWO WHOLE INTERNET POINTS for your effort. Thank you, sincerely.
PS I agree with you that the paucity of Rule 34 compliant results for this search is surprising.
Here’s one in the shower, though she’s not alone.
https://rule34.xxx/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=141661
And one on the toilet…
https://rule34.xxx/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=10767708
This one doesn’t count.
https://www.deviantart.com/darthfar/art/Double-Double-Toilet-Trouble-86971179
Ah ha ! On this one, the voyeur is a wampa!
https://www.deviantart.com/dangercomics/art/Princess-Leia-and-the-Wampa-2-428577120
Google found another one on rule34, where the voyeur is 6PO. :)
https://rule34.xxx/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=233195
M. Chapeau, well searched! I think I found two of them in my quick search the other day, but the one with the wampa is the only one that makes voyeurism explicit (beyond the implied voyeurism of any camera’s view) and I had not found it. Still shocked there isn’t more out there.
Found this: https://www.deviantart.com/cyberstrike/art/Princess-Leia-s-Royal-Duties-104653108
Also: https://images.app.goo.gl/SfyDcvNXfJtApbsG8
…and this:
https://images….there app.goo.gl/YGB1HmYXPNWRY3pT8
Then:
https://shedevrum.ai/en/post/d2f5ac1692dd11eebbe856181a0358a2/?utm_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F
Gaa! They’re everywhere:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/792523793/princess-leia-1-print-pee-star-wars
https://images.app.goo.gl/U8AhtRppZZ8wWotW7
Nice, Dr. Whiplash, but I did rather mean “toilette” in the French sense: “the process of washing oneself, dressing, and attending to one’s appearance.” It’s not that all those potty images aren’t technically part of that, but I’m still looking for an actual shower scene with in-image indicators that someone other than the notional point-of-view camera is watching.
Here for the poetry analysis. Calling her eyes “starry…like stars” was bad but “unworthy” was a dead giveaway. Han Solo would never. Your friend captured wonder-cum-braggadocio beautifully.
Would that include “wookie nookie in a hot tub?
https://images.nightcafe.studio/jobs/Kz14fWrjEVXMoofx9CYE/Kz14fWrjEVXMoofx9CYE-4T-mi.jpg?tr=w-1600,c-at_max
Hair combing in the nude?
http://www.oafe...8.jpg
Look-alike in a tub?
https://www.deviantart.com/ladyjadedcosplay/art/Slave-Leia-Bathtub-458093679