Pee Games In The Shower
How does Jony know she married the right guy? Here, she’ll tell us:
This is how I know I married the right guy.
Back when we were dating, we were taking a shower together. As you do. And Alistair thought it would be really funny to pee on me.
And I think: “That is freaking disgusting, but, oh, well, I’m gonna get you back. You think you’re funny? I’m gonna get you.”
And so I decide to maintain eye contact with him. And while I’m maintaining eye contact with him, and he thinks we’re lovingly locking eyes, I am secretly pissing on him. I’m getting my revenge, and I’m pissing on him. And I’m just smiling, looking at him, maintaining that eye contact. And when I finish pissing on him, I look at him and I say, “Ha, ha! I got you back. I was peeing on you this whole time.”
And then he looks back at me and says, “You know what? “You don’t know! You don’t know that this whole time that you thought that I didn’t know that you were peeing on me, I was actually cupping my hands like this. I have collected all of the pee that you have supposedly peed on me, and now it is going back in your face.”
And then he proceeds to splash my pee into my face. My pee. In my face.
Game recognizes game.
And so that’s how I know I married the right man.
Part of what’s interesting about this is that peeing in the shower is a fairly common point of controversy between partnered people.
Some people — this could be men or women, but I think it’s more often men — who are alone in there when they let fly think it’s an obvious an obvious time-saving convenience. Others think it’s unsanitary, gross, taboo.
It gets more complicated in the showering-together scenario. I’ve seen accounts of women who discovered that their man was trying to surreptitiously pee on them. Dude, what the fuck? That’s obviously a fetish he’s not willing to take ownership of. It’s also a consent violation, and no way to treat your partner.
Much more often, the scenario is closer to this one: the partner-pissing is done openly. But there’s still no consent for participation in his unacknowledged pee fetish, because the activity is masked as prank behavior, roughhousing, or horseplay between lovers. If she’s “a good sport” the dude never has to admit his fetish, get consent for it, or apologize for trying it out without permission. If he’s exceedingly lucky, she enjoys the play as much as he does and neither one of them has to communicate their needs and desires openly!
In all the years I’ve spent reading sex and couples blogs and subsequently on social media, I’ve seen quite a few “he peed on me in the shower!” stories. They usually had worse energy and ended less happily than this one.
Similar Sex Blogging:
Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=34907
In some ways I find stories and anecdotes more useful than advice columns because the people who write sex-advice columns tend to be very different from me. Its good to hear about a happy couple while processing the latest Epstein releases and the response to them. And I learned about a new kind of play!
Long, LONG, ago, when my wife and I had been married only a few years, she asked me, while we were showering together, if urine was somehow inherently filthy. I replied that it was not, since urine is essentially sterile. She said “Thank goodness!” and let go on my foot. She then said that she wouldn’t have been able to hold it long enough to get to the toilet.
“Pee play” has never been a thing for us, but since then, it hasn’t been an issue either way. And we’re still married 40+ years later.
I find myself agreeing with Vagans, society lacks a good representation of the normal range of sexual interaction.
And I will say I find this very boundary-crossing. If he knows she pees in the shower I find that part marginally acceptable. She only responded in kind, in the absence of prior agreement I would assume things were reciprocal and that peeing on him was fine. But throwing it at her is a major escalation. Personally, I would have no problem with being peed on in the shower, I would have a big problem with a facefull. This is the wrong person, not the right person!
Loren, “society lacks a good representation of the normal range of sexual interaction” works as well as anything else (and better than most other things) for a summary of why I’m still chugging away at publishing ErosBlog after almost a full quarter-century. Doing what I can to fill that void with little bits of found anecdotal spackle.
I also find myself with you in assessing boundaries, if we put up the sidebars of imagining that we’re discussing how I’d react if I were one of the people in the shower. I require the sidebars, because consent and boundaries both grow more complicated inside relationships, where there is *usually* lore: some sort of accumulated corpus of prior consents, implied consents, relaxed boundaries, and promises implicit or explicit that grace and forgiveness are available if the murky limits of these less-than-explicit boundaries are crossed unintentionally. I’m cringing as I type this because I am in fact a man, and men are notorious for making cavalier assumptions about consent within relationships, taking wild liberties with boundaries, and expecting unlimited grace for any consequences; but these sorry truths don’t undermine the facts, which are that many couples do operate in this loosy-goosy sort of way and take a lot of less-than-explicit-consent-based risks with one another.
So, advancing behind that barrage of a disclaimer, yes: her attempting to revenge-pee on him seems perfectly fine to me; a response in kind to his transgression, although she could have instead taken offense and chucked him out of the shower instead, had that been her preference. His escalation squicks me, not because of the pee but because it’s such a dramatic escalation of the boundary-crossing that he himself initiated. The only thing that rescues it IMO is that on some level, she likes/respects/enjoys/appreciates the reaction. We’re left to speculate precisely why, but she leaves us in no doubt that she’s not mad about it. And precisely because we don’t have access to the relationship lore — the tacit or explicit rules between them about consent, spoken and unspoken — that reaction is hers to have and not mine to condemn. In my world he’s earned a sharp elbow to the sternum and a shrieking expulsion from the bathroom, but I ain’t the one taking a shower with him.
In the 80s, a lot of porn had ‘golden showers’, partners peeing on each other, with the intention of turning them on, or arousing them sexually.
I think one even had the man peeing inside the girl’s vagina after ejaculation.
Seems to have gone out of fashion…
It takes all kinds…
I do not mind less than explicit consent in general. Very little in our relationship has involved explicit consent–but the implicit has always been in the form of a **small** step across a line. Plenty of opportunity for no. I see it as testing the waters, forgiveness not even needed.
Such a big step without consent would make me seriously question the relationship, though.
Aside from the fact piss play is fetish fuel, is there any sexual element to the original story? They’re showering together and having fun. Not sexual fun, but two people in an intimate relationship and space bouncing off each other and having a laugh.
She interprets his behaviour as fun, responds in kind and finds he’s on the same wavelength. That’s why he’s the one, not because he splashed pee in her face, but they were thinking alike. Ignore the pissing, it’s almost irrelevant detail, the story is about sharing and connection, and they sure as heck had one right then.
I don’t think consent in any form comes into it. It’s about recognising the soul looking back at you fits yours like a jigsaw piece, that you’re cut from the same fabric.
“Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?”
I’m not sure that sex and intimacy can be so rigidly separated. Intimate partners showering together but not finding sexual pleasure in it on some level seems… well, that’s not how I move through the world, is all I can say about that.
Absolutely, this is not a non sexual context or scenario. I’m sure sex was the precursor and probably sequel to this. But I read the story as about the sizzle and zap of realising this is your one. The conversation seemed to be missing that point.