It’s 2020, isn’t it? Frogs rain from the sky, dogs and cats lie down together, and the Kink Unlimited Black Friday sale starts on a Monday this year. Runs for a whole week, too — or so my kinky spies tell me.
Just like last year, it’s very close to being the best sale on the calendar: 55% off, which works out to “cheap as hell” if you buy one of the longer-running packages (always the best bargain).
You’re probably not going anywhere, and if you’re not alone where you are, you and your main squeeze are probably getting bored with each other’s predictable moves by now. Why not liven things up with a discounted Kink.com subscription? You deserve it!
I’ve been having fun recently digging through the Internet Archive archeological remnants of porn tumblrs that died in the big #pornocalypse of 2018, or that got deactivated by Tumblr (for reasons never explained) in the many better years before that.
During the pandemic, you gotta make your own fun. If you’ve got a blonde girlfriend who enjoys puppy play, blowjobs, and long leashed crawls through your secluded back yard, well then the entertainment script pretty much writes itself:
So, this magnificent naked dude on the prettiest fuzzy camel you ever saw just blew up all over my social media feeds. I mean, this guy is flipping his hair like he’s in a shampoo commercial and riding up like he plans to solve all of your personal tension problems. And you’re all: “Just a minute, guy. I’ll make time for you. But first, introduce me to this wonderful camel you’re riding! We need to be the kind of friends where I can rub my fingers through his fur.”
But nobody seemed to know where Camel Dude came from. You know how I am. Mystery images and me don’t get along. I had to dig into it!
Luckily, this one did not turn out too difficult. There’s a Norwegian company called Zpikes that makes little acupuncture bandages that you stick on pressure points. The photo comes from their Facebook page and there is a 43 second video of this epic naked camel ride! It is, alas, mildly censored. And because I do not trust that Facebook link as far as I can spit, here’s a heavily-compressed 14-second .gif version to preserve the flavor for posterity:
The Zpikes people have a Youtube channel where camel dude does not, at least for now, appear. But hey guess what? The same excellent fellow is featured in a different commercial riding a very fine horse with fuzzy ankles. It’s not as epic as the camel ride, but it’s still pretty epic:
I don’t know if it’s still true among the younger set, but for much of my life, many (most?) men have refused to even consider shaving their own genitals, on the theory that it’s just for porn stars and gay guys. I’ve always had some reservations about that conclusion. I mean, if I’m not in porn and I’m not gay, who’s gonna be seeing my shaved junk? Women, that’s who. Shouldn’t their opinion be considered even a little bit? In defense of this radical notion, I offer up a not-at-all random excerpt from Def_NotASlut’s sex journal, circa 2007:
I went and fucked like a slut Sunday. He shaved his whole area, which means smooth balls. I’ve never seen shaved balls in person before, and they were so much more fun to lick and suck. I gave him some good blowjobs.
I think I’m getting better at them. He came a lot on the first one, I was so happy. A good slut always swallows. He titty fucked me too, and then told me to kneel and open my mouth, and I did, while I watched him jerk himself in front of my face, which was hot.
He asked if I wanted his cum in my mouth, and I said little sexy things to make him cum more, and he held his cock on my tongue and spurted into my mouth. I sucked the tip clean and swallowed. Then came the sex. Lots of it. We were up till dawn, literally.
