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March 8th, 2019 -- by Bacchus

Teen Amazon Sweater Girl Huntress And Her Trophy Guys

Remember “Lucky Tiger”, the hair tonic advertising mascot who had a display wall of stuffed-and-mounted naked-women taxidermy trophies? That human trophy wall wasn’t weird nor creepy, no indeed never it wasn’t. (You could literally send off hair tonic box tops or hair wax labels to get a picture of these feminine trophies “suitable for framing.”)

Well, sometimes goose and gander really do get slathered in the identical creepy sauce. Under the headline “New Teen Decorating Ideas” on the cover of the September-October 1960 issue of Going Steady magazine, we find the very same concept with the gender polarities flipped. This time the hunter is a teen sweater girl Amazon, and she’s literally fondling one of her wall-display trophy guys:

teen Amazon fondles her trophy guys wall display and gives a creepy smile

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March 7th, 2019 -- by Bacchus

Vanity, Thy Name Is Fatal Penis Enlargement Surgery

Death attends a penis enlargement surgery for a billionaire diamond trader

News broke yesterday in a Canadian tabloid of a billionaire diamond dealer who died during a penis enlargement surgery:

Billionaire diamond trader Ehud Arye Laniad’s pursuit of a plentiful penis has ended in his death.

The 65-year-old big wheel died of a heart attack at a private Paris hospital where he was undergoing a penis enlargement procedure.

Reports say the Israeli-Belgian died on the operating table.

Belgian media report that Laniad was stricken when a substance was injected into his penis, triggering his demise.

One friend told Belgian media that Laniado had always been focused on his appearance and how others perceived him.

He reportedly owned a $50-million penthouse in Monaco, the principality’s most expensive. Laniad also was said to have had a penchant for celebrities and models.

A couple of random facts that I know, just to put this death in perspective. There are different statistics out there, but very roughly, there’s something like a .2% death rate for people undergoing elective surgeries (call it one in five hundred people). That’s not horrible, but imagine five hundred rounds of ammunition in a bucket. 499 will not fire; one will. You are invited to remove one round at random, place it in a gun, and fire the gun at your head. Would you do it? Sure you would… for a good enough reason. The question is, what’s a good enough reason? How much do you love life? What do you have to lose? What do you stand to gain?

Another random fact that I know is that injections (especially bulk injections) are more dangerous than they look. A “heart attack” immediately following an injection raises the specter that what happened to our guy was a botched injection. Google “cardiac embolism”. Basically the idea is that the “substance” being injected winds up in a blood vessel (there are a lot of blood vessels in the penis) and travels to the heart, where it gums up the works in an immediately fatal fashion.

Lub dup, lub dup, lub. dup… “Hello, Death? Is it…time?” “IT IS TIME, EHUD. COME WITH ME.”

Ehud Laniad was a billionaire who lived in the fanciest penthouse in Monaco. Life should have been pretty sweet. You wouldn’t think he’d feel like playing Russian Roulette, not even with a bucket full of empty chambers. But he did choose to play, and the chamber came up loaded. Boom! Ouch. Vanity, it kills, my friends.

Be safe out there, and be nice to yourself. Don’t do anything stupid.

Image credit: De Kapelle Der Dooden (1737).

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March 6th, 2019 -- by Bacchus

Mayflowers, Mayflowering

 
March 5th, 2019 -- by Bacchus

Motorcycle Seat Gangbang

It’s unclear that we’re actually witnessing a small gangbang in progress on the none-too-ample couch of a motorcycle seat, but that’s what first impressions would suggest. The alternate explanation is that our heroine is merely perched there while these two toughs fight over her:

motorcycle gangbang in progress

Art is from the cover of Ilona #2.

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March 4th, 2019 -- by Bacchus

Beware The Enema Demons!

These days, someone getting an enema is fairly likely to be doing it for fetish fun. But back in the day? When it was medicine, and probably ineffective medicine at that? The average misery quotient was perhaps a lot higher. I think that’s where this artist was coming from, with his fanciful enema demons and their klyster cannon:

prepare your anus for enema demons

This could be a fully modern “Prepare your anus” meme!

Artwork from the Wellcome collection.

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March 3rd, 2019 -- by Bacchus

Courting Those Texas Long Girls

A dry joke gleaned from an 1889 issue of the British publication Answers by @VictorianHumor:

courting texas girls

“How Long Girls Should Be Courted” is the title of an article in a Texas paper. Very much the same as short girls, we should say.

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March 2nd, 2019 -- by Bacchus

Making Porn In A Former War Zone

When life hands you a country full of walls that all have humongous holes blasted in them by Russian and American artillery, what do you do? Well, you tear them all down and build new ones of course, but that’s a project that takes generations. Meanwhile, you give them a nice coat of stucco and whitewash, treat the most architecturally-fortuitous holes as if they were windows, and get pretty girls to pose nude in them for your porn magazine:

pretty nude woman posing in war zone porn faux window that is actually an artillery hole

another shot of the same naked woman posing in a war zone window made by blowing a hole in a wall with an artillery shell

Photos are from issue #24 of the German porn magazine Girls.

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