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January 23rd, 2017 -- by Bacchus

Don’t Forget To Peecycle

When I woke up this morning, my subconscious mind was already wrangling with the poetical details of a series of limericks. It seems grandiose to call this short sequence of lowbrow verses a cycle, but that’s truly what it is: three of the limericks (so far) focus on the comic tale of a certain prominent man in a fancy hotel room in Moscow, alone but for Putin’s cameras and some well-hydrated women “of a low level of social responsibility.”

woman pissing into a chamberpot

For a variety of reasons, I’m uncertain whether I should actually post the resulting pee-cycle. I am therefore imposing upon myself (and upon my own questionable judgment) a very low challenge barrier. Here it is: if I get three more pledges (at any level) in support of the ErosBlog Patreon campaign before Tuesday, January 31, 2017, I’ll post the limericks on that day. If I don’t? Then I won’t.

Are there least three people, each having a dollar or more to spare, who would like to see a few verses of lowbrow liquid lampoonery?

If not, that’s a good reason to keep this pissy doggerel to myself.

Meanwhile, here is a tangentially related limerick that spun out of my fingertips while I was writing down the pee ones (which are much funnier, I promise.) This one got rejected from the cycle due to humorlessness and a technical lack of subject-matter relevance:

An old billionaire dickhead named Don
Likes to grab women’s cunts — and hang on.
“They don’t stop me, the bitches!
Because I have riches…”
Says the rapist who thinks he’s Don Juan.

If you want more and better, you know what to do

February 1 update: The people have (not) spoken. The Pee Cycle will not be published. However, I can refuse my existing patrons nothing. If you are a Patreon supporter of ErosBlog who wants to see these limericks, please email me (bacchus@erosblog.com) and ask. I’ll fix you right up!

February 2018 update: Still not a peep from the people. Wow, I seriously misunderestimated the revulsion of the populace at the mere prospect of this fine literachure. I may go to my grave with this little .txt file still on my hard drives. Let it be a problem for my literary executor. Um… On second thought, maybe I will publish it in celebration if the Russkis ever release the video. We’ll see.

2021 update: Since the old mope can’t stop denial-confessing to this kink, I should remind everybody that it’s never too late to support me on Patreon and then email me for your copy of the Pee Cycle.

 
January 22nd, 2017 -- by Bacchus

Prison Lesbians

Women-in-prison movie scenes cross multiple genres of what we oldsters still sometimes call “film”. From PG-13 thrillers to grindhouse sexploitation to straight-up porn, such scenes always find an audience. This screenshot is from the porny end of the spectrum, being from 2014’s Prison Lesbians by director Dana Vespoli and Sweetheart Video:

prison-lesbians

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January 21st, 2017 -- by Bacchus

Before She Was Famous: Georgina Spelvin

Here’s a headshot of the young Shelley Graham, more famously known as Georgina Spelvin, the star of The Devil In Miss Jones:

georgina spelvin actress headshot

From Head Shots of Future Adult Film Stars at The Rialto Report.

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January 20th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

A Genuine Naked War Hero

naked wwII rescue swimmer and machine gunner

This is no shit! Our naked dude was a crewman of a PBY (those were big-assed flying boats with a long range and a lot of machine guns) during WWII. They landed to pick a wounded guy out of the water, and so he shucked his clothes for the rescue swimming. By the time he got back in the plane, they were under fire. If you’ve ever seen a PBY (or any other flying boat) take off, it’s a painfully slow lumbering process, with no dodging allowed. So naturally enough, our man jumped back on his machine gun as soon as he could, not taking the time to put his pants on.

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January 19th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

#Pornocalypse Comes To FetLife

It’s time for another timely reminder that the credit card companies are why we can’t have nice adult things online. Well, to be fair, I suppose it’s the credit card companies and their shadowy political masters. Like that makes it better?

Start with some background. This post is about FetLife, a famous social media platform for kinky people that (despite its reputation for having some serious flaws) leveraged its early-mover status into a lock on its market segment. FetLife is by all accounts the place for kinky people to congregate online.

You’ve never seen much on ErosBlog about FetLife or about the goings-on there, because nothing that happens on Fetlife is visible on the open web. You have to join up and be logged in to see anything there, which makes the site not part of the internet as far as I’m concerned. As I explained more than seven years ago:

When I’m blogging, I’m swimming in an ocean of material, trying not to drown in it. There’s more published every minute than I could read in a month – and that’s just on the “open” internet, the part where the links work for everyone and there aren’t any passwords or secret knocks.

By policy, I don’t even try to read or look at anything that’s friendslocked or passworded or semi-private. Anything like that is symbolically flagged “this is not for the whole world to see.” And I’m a blogger who can’t even manage to skim all the public stuff that’s out there. Why would I waste my time getting permission to look at controlled stuff, and then actually looking at that stuff, when I don’t even have time to look at all the open stuff that I need to see every day?

I conceptualize anything that’s behind an access control as being dead information, not part of the live internet and thus not part of my conceptual realm. I don’t have time for it and I don’t have room for it in my head. It might as well not exist for me, because knowing stuff I can’t blog about is only going to make my blogging life more difficult, never richer or easier.

It turns out there was a #Pornocalypse-inspired massacre at FetLife recently, with thousands of fetish categories deleted without notice and without (at first) any explanation. Violet Blue explains it this way:

Recent censorship enacted at FetLife is the result of financial discrimination by multiple credit card processors who have ceased business with FetLife for what the processors claim are “Illegal or Immoral” reasons. It began for users one week ago when FetLife announced changes to content guidelines, stating “We can no longer allow FetLifers to publicly share sexual pics and vids containing blood visible in them.” Then without warning, Fetlife deleted hundreds of groups and literally thousands of fetish categories that represented a range of kinky communities (like ones with hypnosis, blood, and humiliation in the name). This was in response to to significant pressure from FetLife’s credit card processor.

Although I try to reserve the word “censorship” for situations when the government attacks our speech freedoms, it’s not clear that Violet’s word choice isn’t correct in this case. The lame explanations allegedly provided by the credit card company to FetLife’s processing bank have the stench of Operation Choke Point about them. That’s the secretive program run by the US Department of Justice to deny banking services to (among others) adult businesses. Although Operation Choke Point was supposed to have been officially terminated in 2015, there’s serious reason to doubt that it ever actually stopped.

Among those reasons, I now feel that we have to include FetLife’s current banking difficulties. FetLife has finally gotten around to posting an explanation for its members, and someone has helpfully schlepped it out onto the open internet where we can see it:

fetlife-announcement-excerpt

That’s just the first part; there’s more.

FetLife received the same sort of vague and conflicting excuses from its card processor that the victims of Operation Choke Point typically reported hearing. I’m not sure how far we should credit the story of Operation Choke Point’s alleged demise.

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January 18th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

Pegging The Marines

This article from Playboy a few years back is about a sex worker who noticed a trend: among her clients who were military men, more than usual wanted to be pegged.

To my surprise, many of my sensual massage clients were military men passing through L.A. from San Diego, 29 Palms and Fort Bragg and North Carolina. And it wasn’t just their profession that they had in common, it was what they were requesting: They wanted me to “peg” them, i.e., fuck them with a strap-on.

My regular, Curtis was a Blonde Marine with a farmer’s tan, silver blue eyes and a distant stare. The first time I saw him, he booked a two-hour session and wanted me to fuck him in the butt.

The author speculates (somewhat pointlessly, as even she admits) about why that might be so. She thinks it’s about trauma, but she knows she doesn’t know. An interesting read!

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January 17th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

Nude On A Trampoline: Marilyn Monroe

 
 
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