I can still recollect with considerable horror the first time I noticed and admired the silver labrys double-bitted ax pendant worn by a woman at my table in a college dining hall. I was a gamer and to me it was just another fantasy weapon. To her, it turned out, it was symbolic of women’s liberation and lesbian separatism, being representative of the necessity, practicality, and general ease of cutting off men’s useless balls. #YesAllMen They say college exposes you to new ideas and different ways of thinking. They say it, because it’s true.

Perhaps that explains why, when I first saw this Cock Screw Set by Oxballs, I thought the design was supposed to represent a labrys:

I was wrong. No labrys-shaped handles here. The sales copy says the handle of these urethral sounds is representative of a wing nut, which makes more sense even if it’s less fun for CBT fans and dominatrices everywhere:

Want an even easier way to screw your cock? Add some wing nuts to your dick screw for some practical handling. The innovative Cock Screw Set consists of a pair of thick silicone sounds featuring wing nut handles at the base so you can easily control how deep you want to penetrate or how slow you want to twist without fumbling, like with other smooth-ended plugs.

The Cock Screw Set comes with two sounds: Spike and Twist. Use Spike for a smooth slide down your shaft, or really put those wing nut handles to use with Twist, turning its spiral shape deep inside until your eyes roll back. With both measuring an impressive 6.5 mm diameters at their widest points, you’ll be pretty well stuffed no matter which design you use.

The Cock Screw Set of sounds are made of 100% pure platinum cure silicone, making them ideal for urethral insertion. Both a body-safe material and able to be sterilized, these silicone plugs are also flexible, allowing for a more forgiving insertion. Made in the USA by the cock toy experts at Oxballs.

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This goes out to all of you merry gentlemen who like to take and share pictures of your dick. Some of you will already grok this but my impression is that too few of you do:

Dick Pics: You are missing your target market.

Twitter has been “the only major adult-friendly social media” for quite some time now, and thus I’ve been saying for awhile that it was about due for some hot #Pornocalypse action. And now it’s here, in the form of some porn killwords silently added to the default “Top Tweets” presentation of Twitter search results:

Violet Blue included the news in her weekly roundup yesterday, and she credits a tweet from Crash Pad Series for spotting it.

Violet and friends have been working out which porn words are blocked on Twitter. So far #porn, #bondage, #femdom, #revengeporn, and #phonesex have come up in their discussion. Violet says “one of the things I hate about sex censorship is that it renders previously useful tools into unreliable and inaccurate tools” as is illustrated by this tweet:

@violetblue @twitter this is annoying. I used searches for "revenge porn" to monitor trends and what people I follow were saying about it.

— Adam Steinbaugh (@adamsteinbaugh) March 15, 2015

I decided to do a little exploring. #Spanking still returns “top” results (I guess the thinking is that we don’t want to stop parents from talking about how precisely they should go about beating their precious darlings) as does #enemas (don’t want to harsh that trendy coffee-enema health craze!). #Fisting, though, gets the double-deathkiss; Twitter first offers you #fishing results, then says it has no top fisting results if you demand to “Search instead for fisting”:

#Buttfucking and #rimming? Blocked. #Pussy, #cunt, and #vagina are all blocked. But #dick and #penis are fine, because men I guess.

Let’s be double clear what we mean by “blocked” here. So far, there are no reports of any killwords being applied to the “all tweets” search. You can still find this stuff with an extra click. The block is being applied to the “Top Tweets” functionality, which of course is the default search result presentation. What is a “Top Tweet”? Twitter says:

When you search on Twitter.com, you can toggle between “Top”, “All”, and “People you follow” results. Clicking “Top” shows popular Tweets that many other Twitter users have engaged with and thought were useful.

We’ve built an algorithm that finds the Tweets that have caught the attention of other users. Top Tweets will refresh automatically and are surfaced for popularly-retweeted subjects based on this algorithm. We do not hand-select Top Tweets.

I’ll close out this post with a not-unexpected irony: there are no “top tweets” displayed for #Pornocalypse.

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You know those dreams where you’re on stage about to make some public speech or performance? Only, you don’t have any pants? It can actually happen:

Pictures found here. But the best explanation I could discover comes from here, and I hope you’ll blame Google for the uncertainties of the machine translation:

Japan set up a college band naked woman

According to friends broke the news recently, a group of Internet widespread naked woman is said to be in a college band in Japan pictures. The group picture shows, this university is naked girl band performances, the audience packed. But there are knowledgeable users claimed that this group of pictures actually director for Japan Morikawa Kei Japanese AV Actress composed by the so-called “Stark Naked Orchestra”, not what college woman orchestra!

Japanese publicity stunt for an AV idol sounds about right to me. Although a genuine naked orchestra might not be a bad way to sell classical music to the masses!

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The interesting thing about art is that it’s not literal. Unlike a photograph, a painted image doesn’t represent an actual thing, event, or situation. The viewer has more freedom to decide what’s happening, in a painting. Take this one, for instance:

Do you see a creepy old man, leering as his wife spreads tanning lotion on their innocent-but-nubile teen daughter? Ewww! That would be icky! What a filthy mind you have!

But really, all we know about the sunbather is that she’s got a great butt and that she usually wears a bikini bottom. She could be their slightly-younger unicorn-bisexual-poly dream partner. Maybe she’s using them, because they have incredible sex toys, an awesome swimming pool, and great taste in expensive booze.

Freedom. You get to decide. And that’s a big part of why I love erotic art so much.

Provenance: I’m pretty sure this is cropped from the cover of a sleazy pulp novel. That’s all I got for ya.

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He’s a well-harnessed dude. He doesn’t want his breathing apparatus to fall off. But there are no other environmental threats, and he needs to keep his butt plug in. It all makes sense!

From Hedonix. This blog post says the artwork is by Robert Foster, and contains many more examples of his cover art.

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It saddens me that I wouldn’t know about this if it weren’t for telecoms advertising. 42 million people viewed this before me, it’s not cutting edge but it’s still full of win:

Narwhals, narwals!