March 17th, 2015 -- by Bacchus
Your Dick Pics, And Who Loves Them
This goes out to all of you merry gentlemen who like to take and share pictures of your dick. Some of you will already grok this but my impression is that too few of you do:
The Sex Blog Of Record
March 16th, 2015 -- by Bacchus
#Pornocalypse Comes to Twitter
Twitter has been “the only major adult-friendly social media” for quite some time now, and thus I’ve been saying for awhile that it was about due for some hot #Pornocalypse action. And now it’s here, in the form of some porn killwords silently added to the default “Top Tweets” presentation of Twitter search results:
Violet Blue included the news in her weekly roundup yesterday, and she credits a tweet from Crash Pad Series for spotting it.
Violet and friends have been working out which porn words are blocked on Twitter. So far #porn, #bondage, #femdom, #revengeporn, and #phonesex have come up in their discussion. Violet says “one of the things I hate about sex censorship is that it renders previously useful tools into unreliable and inaccurate tools” as is illustrated by this tweet:
@violetblue @twitter this is annoying. I used searches for "revenge porn" to monitor trends and what people I follow were saying about it.
— Adam Steinbaugh (@adamsteinbaugh) March 15, 2015
I decided to do a little exploring. #Spanking still returns “top” results (I guess the thinking is that we don’t want to stop parents from talking about how precisely they should go about beating their precious darlings) as does #enemas (don’t want to harsh that trendy coffee-enema health craze!). #Fisting, though, gets the double-deathkiss; Twitter first offers you #fishing results, then says it has no top fisting results if you demand to “Search instead for fisting”:
#Buttfucking and #rimming? Blocked. #Pussy, #cunt, and #vagina are all blocked. But #dick and #penis are fine, because men I guess.
Let’s be double clear what we mean by “blocked” here. So far, there are no reports of any killwords being applied to the “all tweets” search. You can still find this stuff with an extra click. The block is being applied to the “Top Tweets” functionality, which of course is the default search result presentation. What is a “Top Tweet”? Twitter says:
When you search on Twitter.com, you can toggle between “Top”, “All”, and “People you follow” results. Clicking “Top” shows popular Tweets that many other Twitter users have engaged with and thought were useful.
We’ve built an algorithm that finds the Tweets that have caught the attention of other users. Top Tweets will refresh automatically and are surfaced for popularly-retweeted subjects based on this algorithm. We do not hand-select Top Tweets.
I’ll close out this post with a not-unexpected irony: there are no “top tweets” displayed for #Pornocalypse.
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March 15th, 2015 -- by Bacchus
The Naked Orchestra
You know those dreams where you’re on stage about to make some public speech or performance? Only, you don’t have any pants? It can actually happen:
Pictures found here. But the best explanation I could discover comes from here, and I hope you’ll blame Google for the uncertainties of the machine translation:
Japan set up a college band naked woman
According to friends broke the news recently, a group of Internet widespread naked woman is said to be in a college band in Japan pictures. The group picture shows, this university is naked girl band performances, the audience packed. But there are knowledgeable users claimed that this group of pictures actually director for Japan Morikawa Kei Japanese AV Actress composed by the so-called “Stark Naked Orchestra”, not what college woman orchestra!
Japanese publicity stunt for an AV idol sounds about right to me. Although a genuine naked orchestra might not be a bad way to sell classical music to the masses!
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March 14th, 2015 -- by Bacchus
Spreading The Tanning Lotion
The interesting thing about art is that it’s not literal. Unlike a photograph, a painted image doesn’t represent an actual thing, event, or situation. The viewer has more freedom to decide what’s happening, in a painting. Take this one, for instance:
Do you see a creepy old man, leering as his wife spreads tanning lotion on their innocent-but-nubile teen daughter? Ewww! That would be icky! What a filthy mind you have!
But really, all we know about the sunbather is that she’s got a great butt and that she usually wears a bikini bottom. She could be their slightly-younger unicorn-bisexual-poly dream partner. Maybe she’s using them, because they have incredible sex toys, an awesome swimming pool, and great taste in expensive booze.
Freedom. You get to decide. And that’s a big part of why I love erotic art so much.
Provenance: I’m pretty sure this is cropped from the cover of a sleazy pulp novel. That’s all I got for ya.
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March 13th, 2015 -- by Bacchus
Hunky Dude In A Space Harness
He’s a well-harnessed dude. He doesn’t want his breathing apparatus to fall off. But there are no other environmental threats, and he needs to keep his butt plug in. It all makes sense!
From Hedonix. This blog post says the artwork is by Robert Foster, and contains many more examples of his cover art.
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March 12th, 2015 -- by Bacchus
“Just Don’t Let Them Touch Your Balls…”
It saddens me that I wouldn’t know about this if it weren’t for telecoms advertising. 42 million people viewed this before me, it’s not cutting edge but it’s still full of win:
Narwhals, narwals!
March 11th, 2015 -- by Bacchus
What’s In A Glory Hole?
It’s right there in Wikipedia: A glory hole is “a surface depression produced by block caving in underground mining.” Which is to say: you dig a lot of ore out of an underground mine, and eventually the roof falls in. You get a glory hole, a big dangerous crumbling conical pit. If you fall into a glory hole, you don’t come out again.
Nobody seems to know just when this mining term originated, but it was in standard use (albeit inside scare quotes to indicate slang) by the time The Colliery Engineer wrote about the Treadwell Mine near Juneau, Alaska, in 1904:
(Click photo or here for article.)
In mining towns back in the day, a down-on-his-luck miner or a terrible public drunk (often the same individual) was said to be “down the glory hole.” A big hole you fall into and can’t ever hope to get out of again? It seems a reasonable analogy to alcoholism and despair.
Fast forward to sometime in the 1940s. Again nobody seems to know the details, but according to the Online Etymology Dictionary, a sexual connotation to the phrase “glory hole” arose in the gay community. You loyal ErosBlog readers know this meaning:
Press the fast forward button again. Now it’s 1981. The Juneau Cooperative Christian Ministry opens a soup kitchen and homeless shelter for local indigents and drunks. Their mission?
In response to God’s commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves, the mission of The Glory Hole is to provide food, shelter and compassion to achieve physical and spiritual well-being for those most in need.
That’s from their website. They’re good folks. There’s a vegetable garden on their roof. They rely on donations. (The PayPal button is on their page.) People of all faiths, or no faith at all, volunteer for them and support their fundraisers. All this info is on their website or in Google, not buried very deep.
Back in 1981, yes they did go there: they named their new soup kitchen “The Glory Hole.” It was a nod to local history and tradition, with the collapsed mines and the people who had metaphorically fallen in. Did they know about gay sexual slang, these charitable Christian people, back in 1981, in that little town with no roads going in or out, before the internet, before the cruise ships started bringing five million visitors a year? Would they have cared if they did know? Or would they have laughed it off as an irrelevant oddity of far-distant urbanites?
Fast forward again to 2015. There’s a re-dedication ceremony for the soup kitchen and shelter. Ostentatious ceremonial praying is involved, because that’s how religion is done. A photograph of the ceremony makes the front page of the local paper. (It’s still a small town where, apparently, not much happens.)
But this is the 21st century, full of net-savvy hipsters aware of all internet traditions as well as everything that’s on Urban Dictionary. If it clickbaits, it leads. Truth? Reportage? Journalism? 30 seconds of Googling? Nah, why bother! Scoffing is funner!
And that’s how you get a thing like this at a place like Boing Boing:
Look at that smug headline again:
Notably naïve Christian group names Alaska men’s shelter “The Glory Hole”
Of course The Glory Hole in Juneau is not actually a men’s shelter, it’s open to people regardless of gender, which destroys the biggest part of the joke. (Xeni Jardin at Boing Boing grabbed that wrong detail, obviously without checking the charity’s website, from one of her credited sources, while grabbing the graphic from the other one.)
And about the naming of the place? It’s right there in the photo caption: the story is about the charity’s rededication, not its founding. The facility was set up and named back in 1981 (a fact that’s also on the website). So the newspaper story isn’t even about what the Boing Boing headline claims it’s about. Was it in fact “notably naïve” to name a soup kitchen after a strong local cultural tradition in 1981 in a town of less than 20,000 residents that was 1500 miles from San Francisco? I guess that’s a matter of opinion. But small town naiveté in 1981 wouldn’t be funny clickbait, would it? Nope, this will go viral a lot faster if you pretend the naïve act of naming happened in 2015. So let’s go with that, shall we? Hit the publish button! Viral viral viral!
Bloggers are generally not journalists. I don’t aspire to that standard, which is a good thing, because I can’t live up to it. Xeni Jardin, however, does claim to be a “tech culture journalist.” I guess “tech culture journalist” means never having to click through and check the website of the people you are making fun of. In order to find out if they are actually, you know, risible?
Update: Since publication of this post, BoingBoing has modified their item by adding this paragraph, including a direct link to the charity in question, to the bottom of Xeni’s post:
They do good work. They feed and provide shelter to the hungry and homeless. After you finish laughing, consider donating.
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