July 2nd, 2014 -- by Bacchus
Throwing Clay In The Nude
I believe more dudes would sign up for pottery camp if they knew it would be full of dirty girls like this:
Via Kevin’s.
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June 30th, 2014 -- by Bacchus
Sex As Blue Collar Labor
This gritty panel may have appeared in a 1980s comic called Torpedo. Via Fifi:
Her: “You won’t get anything from me!”
Him: “She was right. I gave it to her. She didn’t contribute anything except the raw material. I supplied the blue collar labor. Maybe the kid was pure ice but I was neither pure nor ice. She was an icicle but I rode her like a bicycle.”
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June 29th, 2014 -- by Bacchus
Robot Glory Hole
The latest traveler’s tale out of China is of a medical device to facilitate easier sperm donation. It looks sort of like a kiosk with a mechanized Fleshlight in it:
A Chinese hospital in Nanjing, capital of Jiangsu Province, has introduced a new machine that makes sperm donation even easier- an automatic sperm extractor. The effortless machine features a massage pipe that can be adjusted to suit the height of the user. All the gentleman has to do is plug in the frequency, amplitude and temperature and off they go. It’s also fitted with a small screen for those feeling uninspired.
According to the director of the urology department of the hospital, the machine is designed to help individuals that are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way.
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June 28th, 2014 -- by Bacchus
Soviet Pornography
For cultural reasons that I have never fully understood, the Soviet Union was a rather prudish place, and with the disapproving hands of the state firmly gripping all levers of publication, there was pretty much no such thing as porn in Soviet Russia. However, it turns out they maintained a secret library of the stuff that they seized from the libraries of the aristocrats after the revolution:
In the heart of the Russian State Library, Marina Chestnykh takes the creaking elevator up to the ninth floor. She walks past stack after stack of books kept behind metal cages, the shelves barely visible in the dim light from the frosted-glass windows. This is the spetskhran, or old special storage collection – the restricted-access cemetery for material deemed “ideologically harmful” by the Soviet state.
She arrives at a cage in the floor’s back corner. When she inserts a key in the padlock, the door swings open to reveal thousands of books, paintings, engravings, photographs and films — all, in one way or another, connected to sex.
It was the kinkiest secret in the Soviet Union: across from the Kremlin, the country’s main library held a pornographic treasure trove. Founded by the Bolsheviks as a repository for aristocrats’ erotica, the collection eventually grew to house 12,000 items from around the world, ranging from 18th-century Japanese engravings to Nixon-era romance novels.
Off limits to the general public, the collection was always open to top party brass — some of whom are said to have enjoyed visiting. Today, the collection is still something of a secret: there is no complete compendium of its contents and many of them are still not listed in the catalogue.
It turns out that much of the material was compiled in the 1920s, 1930s, and 1940s as a private collection by a librarian who may have enjoyed special protection from the NKVD:
The collection got its biggest boost from librarian Nikolai Skorodumov, who began collecting books while at school and eventually became the deputy director of the Moscow State University library. Skorodumov led a quiet personal life, taking on his maid as a common-law wife, but his appetite for books was voracious. Interested in rare Russian material as well as foreign acquisitions from France, Germany, the US and beyond, Skorodumov kept collecting until his death in 1947.
…
How did Skorodumov amass such a collection when owning a foreign title could result in a Gulag sentence?
First, he was careful to frame it within the discourse of communist ideology, receiving documents from a variety of organisations attesting to its scientific value. Ivan Yermakov, the director of the soon-to-be-disbanded State Psychoanalytic Institute, provided one such letter in 1926:
“Sexuality demands serious and rigorous scientific examination, particularly as it has played such an extensive role in the evolution of culture and daily life,” wrote Yermakov, who published many of Freud’s works in Russian for the first time. “It is highly important to preserve the collection in unadulterated form as a socially valuable work.”
There is also a second theory. Stalin’s secret police chief Genrikh Yagoda, a pornography aficionado whose apartment reportedly held a dildo collection, is said to have enjoyed viewing Skorodumov’s holdings. Librarians believe that he personally ensured the latter’s safety.
After Skorodumov’s death, the NKVD, the forerunner of the KGB, raided his collection. According to a letter sent by library director Vasily Olishev to the Council of Ministers, a post-mortem search of his apartment revealed a staggering 40,000 items, 1,763 of which were “books of an erotic nature” while 5,000 were “pornographic or vulgar” brochures and magazines.
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June 27th, 2014 -- by Bacchus
Why Rich Men Buy Boats
Yacht bunnies. It’s all about the yacht bunnies:
Image is a still from the 1967 movie Charter Yacht Party.
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June 25th, 2014 -- by Bacchus
The Google Shortlinks #Pornocalypse In Action
Remember last week when I blogged about rumors that Google was disabling certain shortlinks built using the Goo.gl link shortener, if the link targets were porn sites? Well, thanks to a pair of tweets from Rain DeGrey attempting to share a photo from HardTied.com, right now you can see that that little chunk of the #pornocalypse in live action. Here are the tweets:
The one & only @DarlingBDSM is worked over by @MWRigger for @HardTied as only they can!! #BDSM http://t.co/BAbBL2POyf pic.twitter.com/GozhucZZWI
— Rain DeGrey (@raindegrey) June 25, 2014
Evidently Google could not deal with the awesomeness that is @DarlingBDSM and disabled the link to her shoot :( Fine. http://t.co/YRAoR2Ypfg
— Rain DeGrey (@raindegrey) June 25, 2014
And sure enough, if you click the goo.gl link in that first tweet, right now Google is serving you this instead of the photo Rain linked to:
The only sentence in the two policy links Google offers that seems even remotely relevant is this one: “Do not use this service for spamming or linking to content that may harm other users.”
The modern state of Google’s anti-spam software: there’s a rule in there that assumes that porn and spam are the same thing. Don’t be evil? My ass.
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June 24th, 2014 -- by Bacchus
Her First Oral Sex
When a writer using the byline of Annalee Hardison wrote about her first experience of oral sex, at Gasm, I was struck by the erotic fiction tropes and stylistic similarities between this ostensibly non-fiction account and the paid-by-the-word “sex letters” columns that used to appear as filler in porn magazines. I typically don’t worry much about the literal truth of the sexual accounts that get blogged about here, and I don’t propose to start worrying today. I just think the stylistic accomplishment is worth noting before we get to the good stuff:
I don’t want to write anything disparaging about Eric because he wasn’t a bad kisser or anything like that, I just expected something different, something more intimate, romantic and certainly something more intense. Well, that all changed the minute we both got completely naked and I let him go down on me! It kind of took me by surprise at first; the sensation was very pleasurable, but totally unique. It was so warm, slippery and exquisite! I had never felt anything like it before and the feeling of his tongue and lips on my vagina was incredible. This far surpassed anything I had ever done in my young, inexperienced life.
My body began involuntarily trembling with tiny spasms of excitement and pleasure. My breath quickened and I was moaning, gasping and running my hands through his hair and feeling the side of his face as his jaw moved up and down while he made love to my vagina with his mouth. My nipples were rock hard and my entire body felt electrified. The intensity that had been missing from our PG-13 make-out sessions was obliterated by this full-on orgasmic sensation of pure lust and carnality! I no longer cared if he didn’t think I was pretty (he did) or if I technically wasn’t his girlfriend (I wasn’t). I didn’t care that my parents would absolutely kill me if they found out I was making out with a 21-year old guy that had gone to high school with my older sister. A guy that I had a crush on since I was in the 7th grade! I didn’t care if he thought I was silly or that I had a bit of stubble in my armpits. I just knew that I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted this incredible sensation to LAST FOREVER.
I was shaking uncontrollably and gasping for breath. I kept saying “Oh god Eric, oh god, OH GOD!” And then, he looked up while still lapping and gently inserted his middle finger into my drenched and throbbing vagina. I had never known such absolute pleasure in all my life. The old “one-two” trick of using fingers while going down on a woman has to be the BEST INVENTION EVER! After he started easing his finger into me, I was delirious with ecstasy! A thin mist of sweat had broken out over my entire naked body and I was shaking so hard I was surprised my teeth weren’t chattering as I writhed in delicious perfection. I was convulsing with pre-orgasmic bliss as he rhythmically fingered me and brought me closer and closer to climax. I was so wet that my thighs were slippery and his face was drenched in my lady lubrication. A strong sensation overtook me and suddenly I was buckling under him as I shook with feverish delight. Wave after wave of orgasm broke over me as I came again and again. I was not in control, and I convulsed with excited spasms a few more times until it almost began to actually hurt. I felt exhilarated and light-headed, like I was going to faint and blast off into space at the same time. He came up from between my thighs and held me as I quivered in his arms. I couldn’t speak and my head was spinning.
She continues in this enthusiastic vein when it gets to be his turn:
I kissed and licked his chest and nipples, making my way down to his stomach where I undid his zipper and tore off his pants in one fell swoop. His briefs were bulging with an enormous erection. I had never seen one that up-close before and was stunned that it didn’t look anything like I imagined. It certainly didn’t look like anything we were taught about in health class. It was fully erect and curved at a slight angle, like it was pointing to something right over his head. It was meaty, vein-y and throbbing. It was pulsating with Eric’s heartbeat and for a moment the sight of it mesmerized me…
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