ErosBlog

The Sex Blog Of Record
 
 
November 17th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

Advertising On Porn Websites

It has long been a mystery to me why more mainstream products that are sold to porn-watching adults are afraid to advertise on porn websites. Porn advertising is dirt cheap, and so you’d think that any brand that’s not afraid to admit its customers also like porn would be all over the porn website world with huge ad campaigns. Whiskey and cigarette advertisers used to buy endless full-page ads in PlayBoy and Hustler back in the day; why don’t they now?

Thus I was both heartened and pleased to see that one of the online food-delivery startups has not only taken to porn site advertising, they’ve blogged in detail about why they did it and how well it worked:

This got us thinking about porn websites. Are they a good place for us to advertise? Will we hit our target audience? Can we afford it? And why is everyone always shaking their head at us when we bring it up?

We decided to seriously look into it and what we found was boobs. A lot of them. But, we also found an advertising gold mine. We always assumed that a lot of people love porn, but when you look at the numbers, the proof is in the hot tub full of pudding. A whopping 30% of ALL web traffic is dedicated to adult sites. In fact, by the time you’re done reading this sentence, about 197,806 people have looked at porn on the Internet (including you. We see that incognito tab).

So where does America like to spend its time on the Internet? We took a closer look at the top websites by traffic in the United States. Leading the charts are Google, Facebook and YouTube. Duh. No news there. Moving down the list, we couldn’t help but notice that many of the top 100 sites in the US are pornographic.

Considering these numbers, you’d think it’d be pretty expensive to shove your brand message in the face of such a large, captive audience. Right? It probably costs an arm and a third leg, right? Wrong!

We compared our average CPM across major ad publishers such as Google, Twitter and Facebook and found we could get more impressions via porn sites than the big three combined, and at roughly 1/10th of the cost (!) High traffic sites with cheap ad space?? Did we just see a unicorn?

If you ever take two seconds out of your naughty time to glance at the ads on porn sites, you’ll notice that 99% of them are for more porn. It’s a world where no one besides male enhancement pills and adult friend finders have dared to go. Not a single mainstream brand advertising there. We could be that 1%.

The evidence was in. Porn advertising is an untapped market, and our mission was clear:

Tap. Dat. Ass.

 
November 16th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

Bring On The Fuckering Lights!

Fonts matter. Get them wrong, and your merchandise will wind up at Big Lots:

fuckering lights

 
November 15th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

Penis Tree: The Picking

Apparently back in the day, chaste nuns who still liked the dick had to pick it off a tree:

penis tree

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November 14th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

Update On $5 Porn Research Gigs

Hey, everybody. It’s been a while since anybody ordered any of my $5 porn research gigs on Fiverr, which I realize is probably because the posts where I announced them have scrolled away into the deep archives. But I found doing them a lot of fun. My customers, too, seemed to enjoy the results, and why not? Where else in this world can you get your own $5.00 porn concierge doing deep web searches on your erotic behalf?

So I’ve thrown up some more visible links in the left sidebar. Just to refresh your memory, I’ve got two deals going. In the porn attribution research gig, I make best efforts to identify the source of any erotic image you nominate. (There is no guarantee of success but my success rate at finding at least some provenance is quite high.) In the Rule 34 research gig, the game is that I prove that there “is porn of it” (“it” being whatever you like) and if I can’t find an example, I create one — typically in the form of a dirty limerick. (I haven’t had to write a limerick yet.)

It’s cheap and it’s fun. What’s not to like?

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November 14th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

Trixie The Valkyrie

Norse legend has it that when a warrior dies in battle, blonde Valkyrie warrior goddesses arrive to escort him to the great mead hall in the sky, aka Valhalla. Wenching and carousing (with enthusiastic Valkyrie participation) are assumed.

Well boyo, if you’re seeing what I’m seeing, I’m afraid it’s mixed good and bad news for you. The good news is, Tasty Trixie the Valkyrie is here for you:

trixie the valkrie

trixie the valkrie takes off her top

Bad news? Well, you’re dead, son!

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November 13th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

Appreciating That Girl

From Humans of New York, with the caption “Moment of appreciation for the girl who didn’t give a shit about being photographed in the Erotica section.” Indeed:

buying-erotica

Duly appreciated.

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November 12th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

Fired For A Romantic Touch

Here’s a rather horrifying tale of prudery in the social media age. A high school basketball coach in Idaho posted a holiday family photo to FaceBook (you can see it if you click the link) in which her fiancĂ©’s hand is on the side of her bikini top as they stand near the water in their swimsuits. For posting this “immoral” photo, she was fired. (Her fiancĂ©, also a coach in the same district, was “merely” reprimanded, because it didn’t get posted to his account.)

Thanks to the alert reader who sent in the link.

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