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The Sex Blog Of Record
September 23rd, 2007 -- by Bacchus
Spanking Blog calls this spanking graffiti, but like all the best graffiti, it’s really just folk art in a public space:
Beats the hell (if you’ll pardon the pun) out of the boring “no parking” sign it’s painted next to!
September 22nd, 2007 -- by Bacchus
Will someone please stop me from browsing through sex toy websites? Just when I think I’ve seen it all, they come up with something like the Anal Ring Toss game:
The Anal Ring Toss game is a new twist on a traditional ring toss game.
The designated “goalie” inserts the anal plug with the attached scoring pole into the butt. The players then attempt to throw one of the 3 plastic rings onto the pole. You score when your yellow ring successfully lands around the scoring pole in the goalie’s bum.
There are no set rules to this game. A fun set of instructions is included, but players are encouraged to make their own rules. Should the goalie move and shake the ass, or stay perfectly still? It is entirely up to the ring toss players.
What does the winner get? The goalie? It is entirely up to the players.
Please toss anal rings responsibly and have fun!
That’s right, please toss anal rings responsibly!
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September 21st, 2007 -- by Bacchus
It’s nice to know that in time of war, the highest priority of the Judge Advocate General’s Office of The United States Navy is to chase down the dangerous underwear smugglers who threaten the security of one of our most vital military installations:
Your client, Shaker Aamer, detainee ISN 239, was recently discovered to be wearing Under Armor briefs and a Speedo bathing suit. Neither item was issued to the detainee by JTF-Guantánamo personnel, nor did they enter the camp through regular mail. Coincidentally, Muhammed al-Qareni, detainee ISN 269, who is represented by Mr. Katznelson of Reprieve, was also recently discovered to be wearing Under Armor briefs. As with detainee ISN 239, the briefs were not issued by JTF-Guantánamo personnel, nor did they enter the camp through regular mail.
We are investigating this matter to determine the origins of the above contraband and ensure that parties who may have been involved understand the seriousness of this transgression. As I am sure you understand, we cannot tolerate contraband being surreptitiously brought into the camp. Such activities threaten the safety of the JTF-Guantánamo staff, the detainees, and visiting counsel.
Given the terrible risks to our national security posed by underwear smugglers, should we worry that the Navy is botching the job of catching them?
Let me briefly respond: First, neither I, nor Mr. Katznelson, nor anyone else associated with us has had anything to do with smuggling ‘unmentionable’ in to these men, nor would we ever do so.
Second, the idea that we could smuggle in underwear is far-fetched. As you know, anything we take in is searched and there is a camera in the room when we visit the client. Does someone seriously suggest that Mr. Katznelson or I have been stripping off to deliver underwear to our clients?
Third, your own records prove that nobody associated with my office has seen Mr. Aamer for a full year. Thus, it is physically impossible for us to have delivered anything to him that recently surfaced on his person. Surely you do not suggest that in your maximum security prison, where Mr. Aamer has been held in solitary confinement almost continuously since September 24, 2005, and where he has been more closely monitored than virtually any prisoner on the Base, your staff have missed the fact that he has been wearing both Speedos and ‘Under Armor’ for 12 months?
Thanks to Boing Boing for the link. And remember: we must all pull together to see our nation safely through the War On Clean Underwear!
September 21st, 2007 -- by Bacchus
Never let them tell you the Bible doesn’t have dirty bits! I just stumbled across this passage in an old Usenet .sig:
She was infatuated with their male prostitutes, whose members were like those of donkeys and whose seed came in floods like that of stallions. — Ezekiel 23:20
That translation is a bit more poetic than the KJV, but if you play with the various translations available at that link, you’ll see that it’s as accurate as any.
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September 19th, 2007 -- by Bacchus
I suppose it’s possible that after almost five solid years of sex blogging, I tilt too much toward novelty and shock in selecting new material to blog about. Not that sex ever gets boring, but the blogging fingers can get jaded. Whatever the topic, didn’t I already write a post about that? Or three of ’em?
For whatever reason, I’m definitely still finding novelty in the transsexual porn from TS Seduction. Old fashioned “tranny porn” (conceived and presented as a freak show, with transsexuals as the freaks) is hardly novel, but it was always presented with the emphasis on “ZOMG, freaks having sex!” and never a care in the world paid to whether the sex was hot sex.
Of course we expect (and get) better from a Kink.com franchise. We see models like this, and we want to see some sex:
Of course, without some advance warning we wouldn’t necessarily expect to see those two sucking each other’s dicks, but when it happens, at least it looks like they mean it. And if that’s not sex as Bill Clinton would define it, surely this is:
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September 17th, 2007 -- by Bacchus
OK, ladies and select gentlemen: you owe me for this one. OMG Blog calls this the “infamous two-fisting hooker scene”:
Yes, that’s Gerard Depardieu and Robert De Niro the both of them, nekkid as jaybirds and getting simultaneous handjobs from a multi-tasking hooker. Celebrities would not be nearly as entertaining if they didn’t all have a “I was young and broke and unknown and naked” phase!
The movie was something called Novocento, back in 1976. OMG Blog has more, including a video clip.
September 15th, 2007 -- by Bacchus
A reader who wishes to remain anonymous sent in the following bit of vintage femdom art, which is probably attributable to the artist “Jim” and to the second quarter of the 20th century. Since the ladies who frequent this blog are always clamoring for more dick, I figured some Saturday morning whippin’ and drippin’ would not be out of order.
The first thing that struck me about this drawing… no, scratch that.
After I got over the whole male panic thing (“aah, balls, don’t be showing me balls, and especially don’t be beating on THE BALLS!“), the first thing that struck me about this drawing was the cruelty of the foot bondage. That wall could be fourteen inches high and his posture wouldn’t be much different, not with cables cinched tight around his Achilles tendons to enforce the tippy-toed stance.
The second thing that struck me is that this is that it’s another area where the march of technology has marched onwards since the picture was drawn. Are you sadly deficient in dungeon space? Does your bedroom lack thirty extra square feet in which to erect a permanent five-foot wooden bulwark that’s bolted down with iron strapping? Well, you’re in luck! Because these days, there’s a handy portable equivalent called The Humbler. It’s a bulwark in a box — just snap it around the balls and behind the thighs and you’re in business. Complete with bonus electrodes for (shudder) double bonus fun.
At this point I’d normally be talking about the miracle of technology and how great it is that everything gets smaller over time. Unfortunately I’m still distracted by the faint voice in my head that’s still screaming “Aaiieee, not the BALLS!”
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