August 30th, 2005 -- by Bacchus
Fellows, can you belive it? There was once a time so backwards, so primitive, that not only did they have to shoot pinup models with black-and-white film, but a pretty girl like this couldn’t find a gentleman to scratch her back, and so she had to make use of primitive wooden tools to get the job done. Shocking!
Yet another gem from alt. binaries. pictures. erotica. vintage.
August 28th, 2005 -- by Bacchus
From Rollertrain comes a set of hilarious stories documenting certain calls placed to the customer service department at a sex toy mail order emporium. My favorite is The Man Who Drank Lube:
Customer: I took this an hour ago and nothing is happening.
Hez: What was it that you took, sir?
Customer: It said two pumps. I bought the 32 ounce bottle Thin Lube, and I took two pumps of it, but nothing is happening.
Hez: You drank lube?
Customer: I drank it an hour ago and nothing is happening.
Hez: Sir, you actually drank the lube?
Customer: Yes, and I’m not lubricated yet.
Hez: Sir, do you understand that you’re supposed to apply lubricant topically?
Customer: It says to take two pumps.
Hez: Sir, does the bottle say that it’s a water-based lube, or a silicon-based lube?
Customer: [Fumbling for minutes] Water soluble. But I am not lubricated.
Hez: Sir, you’ll be lubricated in about four hours.
August 27th, 2005 -- by Bacchus
I’ve seen little puppies crowd around a feeding bowl like this, but I’m having a hard time imagining what could be so tasty as to entice six young ladies in their undies to gather ’round in this eager fashion. Perhaps a plateful of cocaine?
August 24th, 2005 -- by Bacchus
One would think that any feller who can keep up with Violet Blue would be hard to fluster. One would. But if one did, one would be underestimating The Violet:
There, I said it. Hornboy asked what I wanted for my birthday next month and I told him flat out, “A threesome.” He stammered and grinned, “Okay.” I pinned him with my gaze and said, “With you and another guy.” Alpine skiing, I thought. The look on his face literally made me spit the sip of wine I mistakenly took for dramatic effect right back into my glass (a first). Hornboy turned red, well, kinda purple really, and said, “Well, it’s your birthday.”
August 23rd, 2005 -- by Bacchus
A passing one-liner from a post on Tell Your Sex Story:
I have this weird bug that drives me to have sex in every room of a place I live in on every surface.
When I saw that line, I was totally derailed from the story, thinking “Is that weird bug contagious? If so, I think we could make great money selling little cotten swabs soaked in your infectious agents….”
August 22nd, 2005 -- by Aphrodite
Aphrodite blogs:
They line up before me, awaiting my service.
In and out, in and out, in and out. Sometimes a little wiggling is required to get the job done. I’m happy to oblige. Whatever it takes……
In and out, on and on.
Did I look like this? (Artwork from Femdom Art Collection.)
Alas, no. I was helping a friend drill holes in sheet metal.
August 18th, 2005 -- by Bacchus
A while back the folks from Hogtied rented a sumptuous villa in Cabo San Lucas and took a bunch of equally-sumptuous models down there for a little working vacation. No, friends, this isn’t some trendy stretching exercise to follow one of Madonna’s Qabalah classes; it’s more in the nature of spring break bondage porn, complete with palm trees and azure swimming pools. And willing, flexible girls. And rope:
My spring breaks were never like this.
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