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The Sex Blog Of Record
Sunday, September 1st, 2024 -- by Bacchus
I am by no means an expert in Catholic ritual, but to me this doesn’t look like the way a responsible priest is supposed to take a confession:
Photo is from a scene called Bless Me Father, For I Have Sinned that’s currently available on Kink.com, but it originally comes from Wasteland.
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Tuesday, April 30th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
This is not, of course, an actual nun, but the model retained by Color Climax: Pornography In Color #62 wore the costume well (if not for a long time) and put her heart, her soul, and her pussy wholly into the performance:
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Thursday, June 23rd, 2016 -- by Bacchus
I don’t know exactly what kind of shenanigans this nun is getting up to with the schoolgirls she’s supposed to be educating. Is swallowing a huge double dildo really on the curriculum? Although it might actually be a useful life skill:
From Tyrannized.com.
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Sunday, March 13th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
This particular deal with the devil got expensive and humiliating a lot faster than Our Lady Of Perpetual Latex was expecting:
Artist is DevilHS.
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Tuesday, September 1st, 2015 -- by Bacchus
That’s said to be Michelle Bauer as a seducing demon/succubus, going after a priest played by Eric Estrada in the 1990 movie Spirits.
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Tuesday, March 31st, 2015 -- by Bacchus
And gets it, too:
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2014 -- by Bacchus
Kinky Delight brings us this detail from a vintage erotic stereo card of a nun baring her breasts to the breezes on a hot day a long time ago:
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Thursday, February 20th, 2014 -- by Bacchus
A stolen moment in an unobserved corner of the abbey:
Artwork is by Umberto Brunelleschi.
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Friday, March 15th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
Artist is unknown on this one. The post title comes from the caption on the uncropped image (if you click through) which is “Dernier Exploit de Jerôme”. My mechanically-assisted French is very bad, but I understand that to mean something like “Jerome’s last feat” and if we assume that the famous priest and saint is meant, then “Jerome’s last miracle” becomes at least a plausible-seeming translation. Given that he’s portrayed as enormously rotund and yet very much in the process of catching a nubile nude woman who is fleeing as slowly as may be required, I think we can safely assume satirical intent in the captioning.
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Sunday, June 3rd, 2012 -- by Bacchus
Fetish fuel for somebody I’m thinking:
From The Nun’s Story (1959).
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Wednesday, May 16th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
Another auction photo, and isn’t it just beautiful? Bloomsbury calls it “Nude With Nun” but that doesn’t even begin to capture it:
Saturday, March 26th, 2011 -- by Bacchus
Or: Reason #432 why you shouldn’t fool around with Catholic schoolgirls.
You know you’re in deep existential religious doodoo when you get attacked by a spectral nun wielding a baseball bat with angel wings!
Artist is Milo Manara.
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Friday, November 19th, 2010 -- by Bacchus
There’s a graphic novel called Convent of Hell drawn by Ignacio Noe featuring some nuns who get a little too friendly with the denizens of The Pit. This one panel alone pretty much gives you the full and honest flavor of the thing:
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Friday, October 29th, 2010 -- by Bacchus
This sure as hell caught my eye when I saw it on Fuck Yeah Karl Elvis. Bloomsbury daintily describes it as “Crucified Nude, gelatin sliver print, circa 1920.”
But there’s rather a lot more going on than that, I would say, between the bondage and the fingers and the other girl.
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Thursday, February 11th, 2010 -- by Bacchus
Confession, they say, is good for the soul. Here’s two votes, I think, for the argument that it’s good for the body as well:
Although I suppose we ought always to remember the possibility that some fun-killers would say they are not doing it right.
I found the image here.
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Saturday, December 6th, 2008 -- by Bacchus
So I was reading a modest rant (title: The Horrors of Porn) over at The Twisted Monk and it was going like this:
A common trend in porn would be body art, I know what you are going to say tattoos are as old as civilization so this is not a new development, I agree, but since most porn focuses primarily on the “point of contact”, ie the wet, pink bits, as they thrust away more and more talent are opting to get tattoos on their hips, asses and even genitals in order to retain some level of uniquely identifying marks, lest they get lost in the sea of shaved wangs and oddly tanned taints.
And I thought: “Aha!” For, I knew where this was going.
And I was right:
So when I noticed the female model sporting what at first glance looked to be…ahem… well how shall I put it, a stain on her pink bits? No, more of discolored ring around her asshole. I was naturally taken aback. Surely this site has the budget for some hand-wipes and a videographer with the brains to know that he will soon be shooting this girls bottom in hi-def so it would be in his best interest to make sure that he has a, shall we say tidy pallet from which to paint his jizz stained masterpiece.
No, no on second glance it was not a stain but rather a tattoo. Yes, dear readers a tattoo on that most taboo ring of muscle.
Like passing a highway fatality involving a bus full of crippled nuns colliding with a tanker truck carrying sulfuric acid, I had to stop and stare. What the hell would you posses you to get tattooed there?! Can you imagine that tattoo session? Can you say ouch? I don’t even want to think about the post ink healing process. 4 weeks of scabbing and itching anyone? How do you keep it sterile? Fuck that, how hell do you take a crap?! Gah! The mind reels. Sadly, or possibly thankfully, the series of images in question chose to opt against using the ULTRA zoom lens and show a close-up of said tattoo as it was taking on the business end of her co-star so I still have no idea exactly what she chose to have permanently etched upon the ring of her ass.
Fortunately, some of his commenters guided him to ErosBlog and thus, to enlightenment.
(Monk’s post also links to a different photograph of the tattoo in question, for those of you whose fascination with the topic is not yet fully satiated.)
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Friday, November 21st, 2008 -- by Bacchus
Business Week reports that during the height of the mortgage boom, bank employees would sometimes swap sexual favors to mortgage brokers in exchange for their lucrative portfolio of potential borrowers:
[N]ot long ago the mortgage industry was turning ordinary people into millionaires. One of them was Sharmen Lane, a high school dropout who, like many other young women during the boom, found her way into an obscure banking job with the clunky title “mortgage wholesaler.” … The wholesaler’s job is to buy loan applications from independent mortgage brokers so that lenders can turn them into loans. Wholesalers are paid on commission: the more loans they generate, the more money they make.
…
As the housing bubble inflated, wholesalers–though hidden from public view–became high-earning superstars. Lane, a manicurist before joining now-defunct subprime lender New Century Mortgage in 1997, says she brought home $1 million in 2002 and $1.2 million in 2003.
Eventually the deal-making turned frenetic. Multiple wholesalers began inundating mortgage brokers with offers for the same applications. Some brokers chose to exercise their power by asking for something extra in exchange for their business: sex.
Dozens of former brokers and wholesalers say the trading of sexual favors was so common that it came to be expected. Lane recalls one visit to a mortgage brokerage near San Jose (Calif.) in which the manager lewdly propositioned her in his office. She says she declined the advance, and he didn’t sell her any applications. But other female wholesalers didn’t have the same qualms about crossing the line. “Women who had sex for loans were known very quickly,” says Lane, who left New Century before it failed in 2007 and now works as a $200-an-hour life coach and motivational speaker in New York. “I didn’t want to be a mortgage slut.”
Wednesday, November 19th, 2008 -- by Bacchus
This poem is by John Hall Stevenson from the late 1700s:
Don Pringello’s Tale: The Fellowship of the Holy Nuns,
or, The Monk’s Wise Judgement
There is a noble town, called Ghent,
A city famous for its wares,
For Priests and Nuns, and Flanders mares,
And for the best of fish in Lent.
There you may see, threat’ning destruction,
A hundred forts and strong redoubts,
Just like Vauban’s, with ins and outs,
And covered-ways of love’s construction.
In one, constructed as above,
There dwelt two Nuns of the same age,
Join’d like two birds in the same cage,
Both by necessity and love.
In towns of idleness and sloth,
Where the chief trade is tittle-tattle,
Though Priests are commoner than cattle,
They had but one between them both.
Our Nuns should have had two at least,
In Ghent they’re common as great guns:
Which made it hard upon our Nuns,
And harder still upon the Priest.
But he was worthy of all praise,
With spreading shoulders and a chest,
A leg, a chine, and all the rest,
Like Hercules of the Farnese.
Amongst the Nuns there was a notion,
That these two Sisters were assigned
To him, for a severer kind
Of penitential devotion.
His penance lasted a whole year;
And he had such a piece of work,
If it had been for turning Turk,
It could not have been more severe.
Our Nuns, which is no common case,
Living together without jangling,
All on a sudden fell a wrangling
About precedency and place.
They both with spleen were like to burst,
Like two proud Misses when they fight,
At an Assembly, for the right
Of being taken out the first.
Before the Priest they made this clatter;
Between them both he was perplexed,
And studied to find out a Text,
To end the controverted matter.
Children, said he, scratching his sconce,
I should be better pleased than you,
Could I divide myself in two,
And satisfy you both at once.
Angels, perhaps, may have such powers;
But it is fit and seasonable,
That you should be more reasonable,
Whilst you’re with Beings such as ours.
Be friends, and listen to the Teacher;
Cease your vain clamour and dispute;
Be ye like little fishes mute,
Before Saint Anthony the Preacher.
To end at once all disputation,
I’ll set my back against that gate,
And there produce, erect and straight,
The cause of all your altercation.
But first you both shall hooded be,
Both so effectually blinded,
‘Twill be impossible to find it,
Except by Chance or Sympathy.
Which of you first, be it agreed,
The rudder of the Church can seize,
Like Peter’s Vicar with his keys,
Shall keep the helm, and have the lead;
She shall go first, I mean to say,
And have precedence every day.
The Nuns were tickled with the jest,
They were content; and he contrived
To give the helm, for which they strived,
To her that managed it the best.
Saturday, August 9th, 2008 -- by Bacchus
This drawing by Almery Lobel Riche is having quite a lot of fun mixing the symbol sets of religion with the symbol sets of sex:
A religious experience, indeed!
Sunday, March 16th, 2008 -- by Bacchus
This is an oil-on-copper work by an artist (Adam Johan Braun) who lived between 1748 and 1827, so it’s from at least 180 years ago, minimum. If the artist painted this work before he turned sixty, it’s a cool two centuries old. Talk about kinky themes being timeless:
Found by a Spanking Blog reader in a European auction catalog. Details here.
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Monday, February 11th, 2008 -- by Bacchus
No idea where this naughty nun illustration comes from, sorry:
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Wednesday, October 31st, 2007 -- by Bacchus
OK, it’s good to get invited to the sexy Halloween party with all the latex nuns, naughty schoolgirls, and sexy hookers in fishnet. But hey, not everybody is so lucky. Here’s a fellow who’s responding resourcefully:
Happy Halloween!
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Sunday, July 29th, 2007 -- by Bacchus
Alternative caption: Five Distinguished Male Clerics Complain Of A Shortage Of Nuns In The Modern Church
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Saturday, January 20th, 2007 -- by Bacchus
There really are some fantasies — even consensual ones — that are better left unrealized. Including this Catholic girls school bathroom scene from Alebeard’s Kink Blog, as (it seems) Alebeard now realizes, with benefit of hindsight:
I met her online in a Portland chat room, her pic was deeply sexy, though typically you cant trust pics, especially the sexy ones. But this one turned out to be accurate.
Anyway, she had this fantasy to get tied up and abused in the girls bathroom of a catholic school. She suggested St Mary’s academy on SW 5th ave where I take it she was a student some years ago.
Now, what I should have done was listened, agreed that it was a hot fantasy and moved on, but no.
Naturally the idea was for her to be all tied up with belt marks all over her tits and ass, clamps on and cum dribbling out of her ass, you know, everyday stuff when class got out and the bathroom filled with girls. She has masturbated to this image many times she says and knows just when classes will be on and the place empty
Somewhere in my shrunken head it did dawn on me that maybe if we really did this, police would get involved. She said she was tell them she had been assaulted, did not want to talk about it and would refuse a police interview. Somehow this seemed reasonable to me.
In our minds, this was a great fantasy, Reality however had different ideas
Let me help you with a few fine points in case you try this at home
1. Nuns patrol the halls like guard dogs even when class is in session.
2. Said vicious nuns have evil and cruel timing.
3. When a Nun walks in a bathroom and your cock is deep inside Tina’s ass, there is little one can do to be graceful.
4. Nuns chase one fast, even big nuns, they run in packs.
5. Nuns throw things, they hurt.
6. Nuns do curse.
7. When running without pants on through a field full of Catholic school girls, do not expect them to look away politely and not laugh.
8. When running full speed towards the opening in the fence line, look down to avoid tripping in a gopher hole and flying through the air to land on ones face.
9. Police have no sense of humor about these things.
10. When ones own lawyer spends 20 minutes laughing at you, its less then fun
11. Judges also have little sense of humor even when the charges are minor
12. Community Service sucks
I believe this anecdote also illustrates the wisdom of The First Rule Of Man Law: “Never put your dick in crazy.”
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Friday, July 28th, 2006 -- by Bacchus
Well, actually only two lesbian nuns. I do tend to write hyperbolic headlines:
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Saturday, March 11th, 2006 -- by Bacchus
One feature of vintage pornography, now mostly vanished, is the anti-clerical, anti-papist depictions of Catholic clergy. Early erotic novels, which mostly tended to be contraband anyway, were chock-full of priests, nuns, and monks run sexually amok in orgiastic golcondas of kinky sex, rape, and flagellation involving each other, whatever innocent children they could seduce or kidnap from their flocks, and sundry nearby farm animals. One doesn’t see so much of that in modern pornography, but there was a bit of it remaining in the hardcore porn of the 1960s and 1970s, which this appears to be:
One could almost surmise, from the hopefully expectant expressions on the nuns’ faces, that they are praying for (and working for) a sudden shower of manna. Nun bukkake, anyone?
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Wednesday, April 20th, 2005 -- by Bacchus
I go to blog after blog, and it seems like today they are all discussing the new pope. I already turned off the TV because it was “all pope, all the time” on the news channels. Since I don’t have anything to add to that conversation, how about a dirty joke with a nun in it?
A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, “I have a question to ask you, but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers, “My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
He says, “Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have anal sex with a nun.”
She responds, “Well, I can probably help you with that. Are you single? And you must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I am single and I’m Catholic too!”
The nun says, “OK, pull into the next alley.”
He does and the nun fulfils his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?” “Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin, and I’m on my way to a Halloween party.”
Bad Kevin, bad!
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Saturday, November 23rd, 2002 -- by Bacchus
In one minor respect, the Gor books are like Scientologists. That is, there exist folks who object to any mention of them, unless it be a rousing and completely unequivocal denunciation.
It has been pointed out that the use of the word “yummy” in the previous entry disqualifies that entry from the “unequivocal” category. Accordingly, as a gesture of placation, please accept this link to a web classic, the ancient and notorious (but viciously accurate) parody: Houseplants of Gor.
An excerpt for flavor:
Borin picked up the watering can, and muchly watered the plant. The plant cried out. “No, Master! Do not water me!” The master continued to water the plant. “Please, Master,” begged the plant, “do not water me!” The master continued to water the plant. It was plant. It could be watered at will.
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