It’s always good to start your day with a deep belly laugh that wakes up sleeping dogs and makes them throw you reproachful glares.


Today this happened for me upon reading Rain Degrey’s blog, when she dipped into the “festering swamp of crazy” that is her inbox and decided to respond to the dudebro who wrote her to ask: “Can I get in that ass?”


Why certainly!

I am incredibly wealthy, I have no job, nothing but free time and am the sluttiest person in the entire world!

When strangers from Illinois contact me asking to get in that ass, I buy a plane ticket and fly out on the spot! No condoms, no questions, I have a lovely case of herpes that I would like to share with you.

I am flying into your state tomorrow. I believe marriage is in our future. Particularly after I give you this herpes!

See you tomorrow my soul mate & life partner! How many kids are we planning on?


Since this is Rain, that’s just the foreplay. While she was getting in touch with her inner bunny-boiler, I was calling in the ROFL-copter. Bank account numbers, kidneys, x-rays, pink slips, oh my!

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