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ErosBlog: The Sex Blog

Sex Blogging, Gratuitous Nudity, Kinky Sex, Sundry Sensuality
January 28th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

Cactus Queen

I’m told that in the early days of the New Mexico Territory, they didn’t really have a complete understanding of what the “swimsuit” portion of their local beauty pageants should look like:

woman wearing a cactus bikini

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January 27th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

Lipstick Red Bolero Straitjacket


As part of the Stockroom’s big Valentines Day Sale (of which more later, I promise) you can save $100 off the regular retail price of this luscious red leather version of the Stockroom’s famous and exclusive Bolero Straitjacket that offers all the restraint of a traditional straitjacket with much less fun-killing body coverage:

lipstick red bolero straitjacket

Our signature Bolero Straitjacket is now also available in a soft and supple “lipstick red” garment leather.

Made of high quality garment leather, latigo belting and nickel-plated hardware,the Red Bolero Straitjacket™ is a fantastic addition to our signature line of quality leather gear.

Like a traditional straitjacket, our Bolero Straitjacket™ has a buckling collar and back closures in addition to the extra long glove-like sleeves that extend beyond the fingertips. The sleeves end with a small rectangular ring on one and a 1” wide strap on the other.

The features that make it unique are its cropped length and the vertically and horizontally adjustable chest strap which leave nearly the entire chest and back exposed. The proper positioning assured by the cropped feature and the adjustable chest strap makes the traditional crotch strap unnecessary without sacrificing functionality as a restraint. The two heavy gauge D-rings provide additional points for attachment.

Also on sale: The Bolero in traditional black leather and the perforated Bolero for breathability and longer-wearing comfort. (Sadly, the Bolero for men is not on sale.)

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January 26th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

Milk The Fucking Cow

Did you ever struggle with a blog post, spending a couple of hours trying to get your point across and uncertain whether you succeeded? Only to discover that Dan Savage said what you were trying to say, only shorter, pithier, and with just enough offensive edge for it to be memorable?

Well, that’s what happened to me with this post, once I saw the interview Dan Savage gave to Playboy a month before:

We should tell people who are in sexless relationships and who aren’t doing what their partner wants, “You bought the dairy, so milk the fucking cow. If you don’t milk it, it’s going to find somebody else to milk it.”

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January 25th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

Porn Castle: Porn Site Reviews

In every category of sites dealing with porn, you’ll find ones that are the real thing in their category and ones that are shallow copycats. When it comes to reviewing porn sites, Porn Castle (at is definitely the real thing, reviewing more than 1200 pornsites with lots of hard numerical data on prices, billing policies, and amount of porn available with each subscription. That’s no surprise for a porn review site with its roots in the forums where actual porn consumers would share their experiences:

It all started a few years ago when we would get together online and discuss different porn sites through message boards and chat systems. We kept finding the same problems with some sites, including billing scams and junk content — meanwhile other great sites with excellent content and strong ethics seemed to often get overlooked. Finally we started posting reviews for each other to get a good collection of information.

Written reviews at Porn Castle tend to be short (one or two paragraphs) and factual. I spot-checked three or four reviews for pornsites I’m familiar with and found them honest and agree-worthy, allowing for the usual bit of variation in our tastes for different kinds of porn. What makes Porn Castle special is the detailed tables of data they have about each site: number of porn videos available, quality/resolution of the videos, quality/resolution of the porn photos, and most importantly, all of the site’s billing policies. Which billing options recur? Are there cross sales, and are they pre-checked? What discounts are available? Porn Castle is especially good at highlighting the porn discounts you can get if you choose the right billing option at a particular site.

There’s also a good system for identifying the pornstars that a site features and showing you where else you can find them, which is great for fans of a particular model. My most serious critique is that there aren’t so many reviews covering the most famous networks of BDSM sites. That’s presumably an editorial choice rather than an oversight; despite recent adult industry declines there’s still far too many porn sites out there for any review site to hope for complete coverage of everything.

porn castle post banner

January 23rd, 2015 -- by Bacchus

“Christ, What An Asshole.”

Do you know about the fun game where you replace the caption on any cartoon in the New Yorker with the “Christ, what an asshole” caption? It works better than you would think, and not just at the New Yorker.

It also works as a caption to this picture at Kinky Delight. Christ, what an asshole.

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January 23rd, 2015 -- by Bacchus

Squirting In The Library

January 22nd, 2015 -- by Bacchus

A Sexier Sex Ed Class

This probably isn’t effective pedagogy for a sex education class. But it looks like a fair amount of fun:

sex ed class: today's volunteer guest lecturer is an exotic dancer and stripper

Pay attention: if you show a ruler in the first act, there should be a ruler spanking by the third act, right?

students, this is what breasts look like

By now we can be sure that today’s volunteer guest lecturer has put in some time on the stripper pole. Also: it’s time for the spanking part of our demonstration!

ruler spanking time in the kinky sex education class

Enough preliminaries. This is what you all came to see. Are you ready?

sex ed class is ready for the vagina reveal

Photos are from the Fetish Network.

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January 21st, 2015 -- by Bacchus

Her Date With A Sasquatch

She wasn’t expecting wine and a candle in a Chianti bottle, but still this date went worse than she expected:

kidnapped by bigfoot and carried away

From the promotional material for the movie Bigfoot (1970).

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January 20th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

Sex Worker To Wife: Are You Fucking Him Enough?

A long time ago in the context of a discussion about porn, I advanced a theory about the historical antipathy between wives and sex workers. This theory seemed so uncontroversial to me that I didn’t think it needed expanding, explaining, or defending; rather, it was the rock-solid background against which I set my argument about porn. Here’s what I said in 2003:

Some women object to porn the way wives object to the idea of prostitutes, and for the same reason: it means they have to use actual sex, rather than their erstwhile monopoly over the possibility of access to sexual stimulus, in order to maintain and enjoy the sexual attention of their men. Women who want to have that attention without having the actual sex for which most men will cheerfully trade it are teases, in all the negative and none of the positive senses of the word.

Encoded in that paragraph is my proposition that nobody is entitled to demand the benefits of sexual exclusivity if they aren’t willing to satisfy the sexual desires of their partner. Since 2003 I’ve learned that this isn’t a gendered proposition, but I’ve also learned that the pathology of demanding an unsatisfying exclusivity is even more common than I had thought. Incompatible levels of sexual desire are common, and there are many non-monogamy (or monogamish) relationship models couples can use to cope with them. But it is both wicked and unjust for a partner to insist upon sexual exclusivity without also taking responsibility for actually having enough sex to make the relationship mutually satisfying. And this sort of wickedness and injustice? It’s dirt-common.

I was reminded of all of this by an essay in Vice by sex worker April Adams. She writes:

Dear wife,

I don’t know you, but I know that it’s possible that your husband will cheat on you with a sex worker. I say that because I am one, and I am not short on clients.

But not your husband, you say, not him! Other husbands, sure, but your relationship, your sex life, is different. You had a threesome with your college roommate ten years ago. You get a sitter and head to Vegas every August. You have that special thing with Law and Order marathons. You have a great marriage!

Let me ask you: When was the last time you had sex three times in a week? When was the last time he complained about that? Don’t you think that maybe it’s possible that he’s instead taken the problem out of your hands, which is to say into mine?

After a lengthy articulation of the reasons such a state of affairs might not actually be all that maritally-threatening, Adams concludes:

I’m not saying it’s your job to keep him happy. I am saying maybe you don’t want to sleep with him that often. You’re busy, or stressed out, or he doesn’t do it for you anymore. I get it; he almost certainly doesn’t do it for me.

That’s the point. I am the secret ingredient in a lot of healthy marriages, because when he’s seeing me, both of you are getting the amount of sex you want. As long as you leave his cellphone alone, you might make it to your 50th anniversary. You’re welcome.

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January 20th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

Watering The Wicked Witch

When I first saw this Wally Wood cartoon that sex-spoofs The Wizard Of Oz, I was reminded of Mistress Matisse’s advice from 2001 (and from 2004 and from 2005 and from whenever anybody will listen to it):

Don’t say, “I will do anything you want, Mistress!” Believe me, I can easily think of things you would not want to do.

It’s equally dangerous to say “I enjoy all sorts of perversions.” It could even be fatal, and not just in the funny books:

Wicked Witch of The West enjoying  friendly double-penetration DP gangbang with the Tin Man and the Scarecrow from Oz

Cowardly Lion pees on the Wicked Witch

Wicked Witch says I'm melting, appears not to enjoy her golden shower watersports

Panels are from Gangbang #3.

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