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January 7th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Another Word For Breast Sex

I’ve commented before (and not just once) on the lack of a good word or phrase for the sexual practice of getting off by rubbing a penis between two sufficiently-generous breasts. Tit job, breast sex, titty fucking, and various orthographies and variations of these, all have their flaws and ambiguities. Stalwart commenter and occasional email correspondent Vagans recently alerted me to a blog post and citations therein that suggest a new-to-me terminology: the phrase “muscle fuck” and its mysteriously elaborate cousin, “Hawaiian muscle-fuck.” Here I will turn you over to the redoubtable Strong Language blog, joining in progress its review of a venerable book about the word “fuck”:

Back when I was a teen, c. 1980, some friends and I were cruising the streets of Seaside Heights, New Jersey on an off-season night. With us was a friend-of-a-friend, someone I did not know. He got into a verbal altercation with some other teens we had met on the street, and afterward as we drove off, he leaned out of the car window and shouted, “How’d you like a Hawaiian muscle fuck?!”

Now, we had no idea what a Hawaiian muscle fuck was, and truth be told, I don’t think he did either. We dubbed him the “HMF Kid,” and the incident stuck with me long after I had forgotten his real name. Over the years I occasionally wondered what a Hawaiian muscle fuck was, but it wasn’t until I had a copy of Jesse Sheidlower’s The F-Word in my hands that I found out. There it was, in print, under the headword muscle fuck, noun:

an act of rubbing the penis between a woman’s breasts. […] 1992 Playboy (July) 37: Sex quiz … Been involved in breast fucking (a.k.a. the Hawaiian muscle fuck)?

There’s a use of muscle-fuck without the Hawaiian in this sense from 1974, so the HMF Kid didn’t coin the phrase. All that remains to discover is why is it Hawaiian? But I think that is a mystery lost to the ages.

Such is the utility of Sheidlower’s volume that it could solve a mystery dating back to my somewhat-misspent youth.

My intuition tells me that the answer to “why is it Hawaiian?” lies in the 20th century military history of Pearl Harbor and the related thriving prostitution districts of Honolulu. But I freely admit that I’m guessing.

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January 6th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Monster Fucker Monday #14, Aliens Edition

How’s the alien clearance job going? Well, it’s like that line in the old country music song. “We didn’t get much sleep, but we had a lot of fun…”

It’s all fun and games until the bursters hatch, right?

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January 4th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

His Christmas Sweater

Her husband is a little bit too particular, if you ask me:

She says:

“My husband got upset at me because I got him a sweater for Christmas. He said he really would have preferred if I would have got him a screamer, or a moaner.”

Well, that’s gratitude for ya!

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January 3rd, 2025 -- by Bacchus

How Adult-Hostile Is BlueSky?

Those of you who, like me, have rather lost interest in corporate social media and its inevitable enshittifications, might not have been paying attention to BlueSky, which has been growing up in recent months as a possible Twitter replacement. I haven’t tried it because by all accounts it’s quite adult-hostile, which is consistent — given my theory of pornocalypse — with its venture-capital funding sources.

That means I’m not fully briefed on what it means (in terms of search invisibility, loss of algorithmic juice, and so forth) to have your content flagged as adult content on BlueSky. But there’s never been an algorithmically-driven pornocalypse platform where the involuntary adult-content flag was a good thing. And what’s adult content on BlueSky? Well, mentioning vaginas, apparently. Here’s the Vagina Museum in London complaining on Mastodon about BlueSky’s moderation:

vagina museum moderation on mastodon

Maybe the filter kicks in based on the titilating content at the link destination? Let’s go see:

screenshot of Vagina Museum home page

Oh, wow! Salacious! Lewd!

I’d welcome a discussion in the comments about your experiences on BlueSky with adult content and moderation.

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January 1st, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Lined Up At Nudist Camp

You won’t find this sort of natural lush beauty in commercial beauty pageants, but this nudist camp pageant lineup that Kinky Delight found is something special:

relaxed casual nude women lined up for a naturist camp beauty contest

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December 30th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Her Eyes Were Bigger Than Her…

When you order the jumbo sex toy, discovering too late that you’re not really playing in the big leagues:

Today’s lesson: ambition should always be tempered by practicality!

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December 29th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

Nation Of Militant Prudes

Overheard on Mastodon:

“Tumblr had some good stuff, until the Payment Processor Nation attacked.”

I feel like “attack of the Payment Processor Nation” is describing part of the same blind men’s elephant as the pornocalypse coinage is describing.

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