June 19th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
Pounding Uranus
Versions of this headline are all over Pinterest and Twitter. When I started seeing them, I assumed they were a manufactured funny. But no, it’s a real headline:
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June 18th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
Your Ukrainian Brides
Earlier in the month when I wrote about a dating service aimed at hooking eligible bachelors up with marriage-minded Russian women, I gestured at the “risks of stereotype we incur” whenever we attempt to describe the traits on an entire nationality of women. Nations and cultures and peoples do have common traits, which dating sites aimed at facilitating international marriages are quite direct in discussing. But when Your Ukrainian Wives talks not only about the merits of Ukrainian women in general but specifically about how they are “way better and prettier” than Russian women, that’s a degree of intra-Slavic competition that quite goes over my head. Like most American men, I couldn’t pick the Ukrainian girl out of a lineup of Russian women if my life (or my new relationship) depended on it. However, you are wecome to try, if you think your Slavic woman-identification skills are up to the job:
If you want to woo a Ukrainian woman, though, don’t be an ugly American. If you don’t know what it means to be Ukrainian, keep a firm grip on your tongue until you have found out. And for damn sure, don’t make the mistake of calling her a Russian:
People from the Western World are somewhat assured that all Slavic countries have a lot in common and can barely be distinguished. We do not know what exactly raises such a thought in people’s minds — whether it is a negative effect of Soviet Union’s policy of “international equality” or the plain absence of interest. Nonetheless, we have to admit that Russians and Ukrainians are completely different nationalities with dissimilar mentalities and attitudes. That is why a Ukrainian girl would be offended and distressed if you said you do not know the concrete difference between her native culture and the culture of Russia.
As I wrote before, The Nymph knows my proclivities, so I do not join sites like this out of respect for her. She emphatically does not want me flirting with distant Slavic women! Thus, I can’t speak in detail about the site’s offerings and amenities. If you need such a dating site, I’m sure you’ll enjoy figuring out this one’s particularities.
June 17th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
Ducking Out Of A Bad Date
When a faked “I’m not feeling so good” escalates into the most humiliating possible way to have tried to flake on your hiking date with that dude from SnapChat who turned out to be creepy:
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June 16th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
No Upskirts, No Marriage Proposals
Jason Scott found this awesome code-of-conduct sign in a Japanese arcade. I can’t read it, but from the symbols I assume it says something like:
- No upskirt photography
- No proposals of marriage
- No stealing briefcases
- No grabbing women’s asses
From such modest building blocks are civilizations built.
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June 15th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
Never Pee In The Piano
The Spanking Theatre tumblr is doing the world a great service in making an English translation of infamous The Young Girls’ Handbook of Good Manners by Pierre Louÿs, which was heretofore available only in the original French. Here’s part of the chapter “At The Ball”:
A rule without exception: never grab the cock of a dancer who does not have a hard-on for you. A quick glance at his trousers will prevent this blunder.
If you climax whilst waltzing, exclaim softly, do not shout.
When a gentleman, behind furniture, spurts into your hand, it is better to suck your fingers than ask for a towel.
A well-bred young girl never pees in the piano.
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June 14th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
Ass To Mouth In Rio
Cidade Do Diabo is a Dofantasy sex comic by Lesbi K Leih about the challenges of being a pretty girl in the roughest favelas of Rio De Janero. But in the panels below, we meet some tourists having hotel sex:
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June 13th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
An Informal Conjugal Visit
My first impression upon seeing this illustration from a vintage Japanese fetish magazine was boringly conventional, framed in the tropes of male-dominant kinky sex fantasies that either do not concern themselves with consent or explicitly assume its absence. She carelessly got too close to the bars, so the horny male prisoners grabbed her, stripped her, and are now fucking her! Or she’s an abject prisoner herself, deprived of clothes and forced to present herself against the bars for any men who bribe her jailor for access!
Only, really, why assume any of that? Not only do we not know who is the prisoner in this image, but it probably isn’t exactly easy to screw through the iron bars of a prison cell. That firm grip on her arms is practical for pulling her against the bars, and doesn’t tell us one damn thing about how willingly she might have stripped and pressed herself eagerly back against them.
So what’s the scenario? She might be a sex worker, obtained for the men by a well-bribed guard. But I’m going with a loyal and loving wife who misses her husband terribly. Allowed access — perhaps she paid a bribe, in coin or otherwise — but only to the hallway outside the cell where her husband is imprisoned with other men, she’s doing what she can to recapture some intimacy and brighten the dreary days of his sentence.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
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