May 12th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
Demons Love Anal
This one does, anyway:
The artist is Filobedo.
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May 11th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
This Mineral Is Not For Fucking
So it seems a lot of Tumblr is having a merry time discussing the fuckability of this mineralogical sample, to wit, a polished stalactite composed (more or less) of solid malachite:
You pretty much have to go read the whole thread. There’s some back and forth about whether malachite (which is a copper mineral) is toxic (conclusion: not really) but ultimately the real problem turns out to be that it dissolves pretty well under vagina conditions and in solution, the copper is not good for vaginal microbiota:
Ok so here’s the thing though
Malachite is not poisonous to YOU. BUT fucking this stalactite will probably wreck your vaginal flora and leave you with a gruesome infection within a couple days.
Want details? SO GLAD YOU ASKED, ‘CAUSE HERE THEY ARE.
– Malachite is not copper oxide. It’s Cu2CO3(OH)2. Like most carbonates it’s water soluble— that’s how it became a stalactite in the first place! And technically any given chunk of “malachite” isn’t just malachite— it’s a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. This will become important later.
– When malachite dissolves it makes a bunch of copper (Cu++) ions. Cu++ is GREAT at killing bacteria and fungi— so good at it that sprays with Cu++ get used a lot as a spray in agriculture to stop plant disease. It takes such a large dose to harm larger organisms that copper sprays are used a lot in organic agriculture (like Bordeaux mixture).
So bottom line, yes malachite is technically nontoxic to humans. But it kills bacteria when it dissolves and releases Cu++.
– Malachite dissolves somewhat slowly in water— but vaginal secretions aren’t just any water. A healthy human vagina has a pH of 3.8-4.5 and a salinity of about 0.9%. It’s also warmer than your average underground cave at 37°C (or 98.5°F in American meat units). As luck would have it, acidity, salinity, and warmth all make malachite dissolve faster.
– In other words, the human vagina dissolves malachite.
– I have no deeper explanation for why human females can dissolve rocks with our genitals. It simply is.
The conversation continues. We may yet learn more!
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May 10th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
Sansa And Tyrion’s Wedding Night Do-Over
Parody and porn have a long and happy mutual history. A lot of early porn directly and viciously parodied figures from religion and nobility. Modern porn often borrows from and parodies popular movies and television, no extra charge for a sleazy punning title. And while I don’t always enjoy porn parodies, they are at their best when they take a familiar story in a more sexual direction, offering us sexual might-have-beens that we could hope to get in no other way.
Case in point: the TV show Game Of Thrones, which is chock-full of uncomfortable sex and a bit short on the cheerfully consensual variety. Thus, the Hustler production This Ain’t Game Of Thrones XXX (available online at Hustler Parodies, which is part of the Hustler Mega Pass offering) has a lot of chances to show us more-satisfying sex scenes than the show itself ever featured. One of my favorite scenes in This Ain’t Game Of Thrones is the marital consummation that never happened between Sansa Stark and Tyrion Lannister. Marie McCray makes a very plausible Sansa, and if you are in the camp that thinks Sansa missed a chance at some amazing virgin-bride-with-experienced-husband sex on the show, she fully redeems herself in the parody:
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May 9th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
Who Needs A Man?
Model Kagney Linn Karter at Fucking Machines certainly does not, she has a motorized dildo that seems to be getting the job done:
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May 8th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
Sexy Computer Game Girl
This is a detail from what Dr. Faustus and his sources identify as a movie poster for Computer Game from 1974. Given the imagery, I am going to guess that Computer Game was a soft-porn release not seen outside the adult theaters of the time. IMDB has a 1969 listing for a Computer Game movie that might be the same one; there’s not much information there, but the plot keywords listed are “nudity”, “softcore”, “sadism”, “police”, “lesbianism”, “computer dating”, and “sex”.
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May 7th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
Taken For A Ride By A Cowboy
When the old cowboy offered to take her for a ride this is not exactly what she had in mind. But he intends that she enjoy it:
Artwork is by Alazar.
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May 6th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
Blowjob Overthinking
It is entirely possible to think too much about blowjobs. Don’t believe me? I have proof, in the form of Girl On The Net experiencing angst after giving what by all accounts must have been a dang fine blowjob:
Philosopher and beard-owner Plato talks of ideal ‘Forms’ that exist outside our world. Your chair is different to that stool over there, but you understand that they’re both chairs because both of them echo some properties that are also present in the ideal form ‘Chair’. So somewhere probably outside our universe there exists a chair that embodies every single perfect detail of ‘chair-ness’, and yours is simply an imperfect copy.
If Plato were right (which he isn’t, but who am I to criticise — I fell asleep in most of my Plato lectures) then there would potentially be a perfect blow job alongside all the other perfect forms. Outside this universe, the concept of the ‘perfect blow job’ would exist, floating around with other perfect concepts — the ideal horror movie, for instance, or the superlative block of cheese. Perhaps even the nebulous ‘real woman’ we hear so much about in the media.
This is all well and good if you’re Plato, but if you’re a person like me who wants to achieve the best blow job ever, it’s all a little disturbing. What’s more, I am a teeny bit annoyed with Plato for ever bringing up the idea that ‘perfection’ could ever exist outside of maths.
Yes, I overthink things.
{nods}
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